Through Paul's Eyes

My sister and I call each other on an organic-wish-we-called-or-lived-closer-gee-has-it-been-two-weeks basis.  But we keep each other on our toes.  She with her new mom new eyes enthusiasm, me with my veteran don't fret about it vision.  The virtue of each is complimentary to the vice of the other.  She is the Mary to my Martha.  Sometimes, I can get a bit calloused, after all, I've done this for 18 years, but she doesn't let those bruises to wonder scab and scar over, she demands I remember, it's always new.  As she said to me, "If you get through all this and are jaded, you did it wrong."  and I hold to those words.
On a similar note, this week, a friend of mine told me, God gave me Paul as he is, down syndrome and all, so I would not be jaded.  She pointed out that I'd seen first step, first tooth, first crawl, first word eight times over before I got to him.  Now, I even had a daughter that was trying to catch up.  But with Paul, what are run of the mill actions for everyone else, are victories to be celebrated and savored. 

October 31st, I'd scrambled to assemble 8 costumes, including for my youngest two.  The oldest boy and girl took care of their own Halloween needs.  Not knowing if either my three or my 8 month old were going to cooperate, I'd dressed them in football/cheerleader garb so that even if they didn't want to wear the dinosaur or Tigger, they'd be appropriate for the school parade, party and subsequent Trick-o-Treating.  

Evening came and reassembling outfits after dinner was a chore.  Still, I started to get Paul dressed.  My husband didn't think it was necessary, as the little guy looked pretty cute in his Redskin jersey and jeans.  However, I put the outfit on Paul and he pulled down the hood of the dinosaur outfit and made an "Aaahhhh" sound.  I lifted the hood to see his eyes.  He pulled the hood back down and said, "Aaaaahhh!" again.  We hadn't thought that he would get Halloween. 

Well, he got it. 

That night, he walked everywhere.  He went to people's doors and knocked. He took candy. He said Trick-o-Treat and Thankyou.  He nodded his head and high fived.  He often went into people's houses when they came to greet him.  He loved it and so did we.  "Behold, I make all things new." came to mind.  

At mass, he did it again when we attended on Sunday.  Some of my children don't sing, they're teens and tweens, it's not in their nature to participate, they don't want to feel, they don't want to be too religious.  But they had not counted on Paul breaking through their hearts. 

Paul full throated sung when the organ began Alleluia.  He stopped when the singing stopped, he started when the chorus returned.  He knew it.  He nodded at his siblings and clapped for them. There had been some dullness in some of my children, a sleepiness that was rendered fully awake when this little guy participated.  The rest of the mass, those that were near their brother, sang with him, sang for him, sang because of him.  And the words, "unless you become like one of these..." floated into my head.  Paul was leading his brothers and sisters to be like him, to sing without hesitation, to pay attention, to be wakeful, to see the mass and this section of the mass with new eyes.  

The real beneficiary of Paul, is everyone in our family, for he keeps all of us unjaded.   He'll keep us from "doing it wrong."