Tell Me About it

It's Thursday, so I'm reporting in with some different sorts of successes. 

1.  It's not easy for me to simplify or cut back, it's not in my nature.  Whenever anyone calls for volunteers, you can almost see me perk up like a dog hearing it's master's voice.  I want to be immersed in everything but legitimately, not tangentially, not accidentally but absolutely.  And I dream big about being so involved in everything; I don't seek dreaming that way, it's almost innate, it's the way I think.  It's a trait that is simultaneously endearing and annoying as it gets me often into far more than I can possibly manage.  

Further, the word can't is a word I despise.  It doesn't matter that I can't shoot hoops.  My brain still fires back, "You could if you tried."  That resolute stubbornness has served me well, but sometimes, it's just banging one's head against a wall.  But every so often, I get a nudge that this isn't working, that can do isn't enough, that will and enthusiasm can only make up for so much when what is needed is time, craft and care.

So I'm letting go of an opportunity that might have served me well, but which I know isn't something possible at this time.  It's hard even to have written those words, as I want immediately to take them back, to figure out someway around saying, "Not now, not this, stop."  Yet I know there is wisdom in choosing stillness that I very very very often, refuse to allow myself to experience.   While grant writing may seem like a little thing, while it may seem like no big sacrifice to walk away, it doesn't matter what it is, for me, walking away is hard.  Part of me chafes and screams, "Quitter."  and proposes wild exacting schedules or alternatives.  I'm trying to tell her, I'm home for a reason and it isn't to spend all my time not being present because I have work to do but she's pushy so I have to be sort of dramatic with her and abruptly slam the door on that tendency in me to always say "Yes." even when prudence, energy levels and actual physical capacity to act say "No."

2.  On a less dramatic scale, I got published this week at Family and Faith Live! and that was fun.

3. Keeping up with the daily rosary, even if two days of the week, I wound up finishing the prior day's rosary because I fell asleep mid decade. 

4. Got to see friends this week.  It's funny how much mental amnesia I get, I forget how much they fill up my life until I'm in their presence. 

5.  Had a date with my husband.  We get so busy, and the next few weeks will be like that, such that stolen moments now are being hoarded for the gifts that they are. 

6.  Banning the Imperative tone --noticed I was using the Command and Control voice just a bit too much with my kiddos, so today, (today only, one thing at a time), that voice is being locked away as a matter of policy, will have to use more diplomatic means of motivation and persuasion to deal with my horde, their homework and chores.

7. Got my hair cut.  It's a big deal since I haven't had it done in several months.   While I miss the pulling it back, I have to say, it's nice to have a touch of style, something that generally gets thrown by the wayside with the laundry pile I haven't tackled. 

Got a victory to share?  Go to Family and Faith Live! and share it.  You might be the inspiration for someone else's next great week.