Just Ice Cream Desserts

Recently the news included a little blurb that Ben and Jerry's would drop the "all natural" from it's label on Cookie Dough Ice Cream in deference to a health watch group that felt the moniker was deceptive because the confection used alkalized cocoa, corn syrup and hydrogenated oil as part of the recipe.  Maybe it's just my own love for B&J's pints o'goodness, but I felt the need to help out the creamery in Vermont with a few pithy slogans as substitutions for what they now will omit as part of the agreement. 

10) Tastes this Good; Can't be anything but Supernatural. 
9) The Perfect habitat for Cocoa, corn syrup and hydrogenated oil.
8) Au naturale ice cream, nakedly delicious.
7) For crying out loud, it's ice cream; if you want healthy, eat a carrot!
6) Preserving taste at all costs.
5) Don't You Feel Safer Without Those Two Little Words?
4) Memo: Ice cream and Cookie dough?  Not found organically in Nature.  Just saying.
3) 100% All Nurturing
2) Better Living Through Chemistry
1) Unnaturally Enhanced...but worth it.

Memo: I do love Bluebell more than anything, but I can't get that here, so I console myself with Cherry Garcia.   But no one does a better Pralines and Cream than the cows in Brenham, Texas.   Can you tell it's week four of gestational diabetes and it's getting pretty old?