Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Today I promise to....

Fire up the SUV.  Rent an extra one and leave it running. 

I will roll down the windows and turn up the heat.

I will ruthlessly throw cans and newspaper in the trash and egg shells and bananna peels down the disposal and will feast on red meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

I will put ethanol in my car so that it operates less efficiently and has the double effect of using what could be food for fuel, and still pollutes. 

I will commence drilling for oil  in my back yard and along all coastal regions. 

I will barbecue and use fresh wood.

I will buy every aresol can type product I can and run the water when I brush my teeth. 

I will take up smoking and encourage others to do so as well.

I will drink bottled water and then Belch.
I will own dogs, feed them meat, let them drink bottled water and let them belch.

Today I will leave all the lights on in every room after I switch  them all back to incandescent lamps.  I will make sure the computers, tv's and radios go 24-7 like the news cycle.

Today I will only buy new.  I will not Reduce.  I will not Recycle. 


The news has predicted 10 to 20 more inches of snow Tuesday night.  After there feet over the weekend, I'm committed to creating just a bit of global warming RIGHT NOW!

I'll go back to saving the Earth when it's warm.  Thank you. That is all.


MightyMom said...

bwahahahhahhaaaa, sending WARM thoughts your way.

after your last post, I really needed this one!

Mary said...

Go Sista Go!! Global warming coming your way!!!

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