Sunday, March 28, 2010

What About....*

Struggling with writer's block, here's a piece from last May.

Conversations with five year olds are always interesting, even when they’re repetitive.

They understand that there is give and take, but never that a specific subject matter has been exhausted. We were at McDonald’s. The circumstance of getting into and out of that particular establishment on this occasion is worth a separate treatment in the blog, but suffice it to say, I’d managed to order and get all three, the 5, 3 and 2 sitting in a booth with the baby and me on the opposite side. Our food arrived and my son took the occasion to notice the warning stickers on the entrance, NO BARE FEET, NO SHIRT NO SERVICE, and NO DOGS ALLOWED.

“Can dogs come in here?”
“No, see the sign? They don’t want fur on the French fries or the chicken nuggets.”

“Or the chocolate milk.”
“Right.”

“Can horses be in the restaurant?”
“Well, they’re a little big don’t you think?”

“What about monkeys?”
“Monkeys? Can you imagine Curious George and his pals in this place? They’d be playing with the soda machine and making a real mess.”

“I guess you’re right. What about….jaguars?”
Maybe it was the hardening of the arteries from the French fries but I was starting to lose steam on fielding these questions. “Um…they’re endangered and prefer the jungle to a fast food franchise?”

“You’re smart Mom.” The two toddlers are nodding in agreement with their brother. I sipped my diet coke. Maybe I could answer a few more questions.

“Monsters!” my daughter pipes up. The other side of the table is collapsing into giggles.
“Monsters? They’d eat up everything. They’d drink all the chocolate shakes! There’d be no fries or burgers or cookies for anyone else.”

“Oh…right. Okay…how about cats?”
“Well, if we let cats in, I think the dogs would get very jealous and then we’d have to let them in and can you imagine this place with cats and dogs inside it? What do you think would happen?”

An elderly gentleman walked by, watching this 20 questions grueling of why an establishment of this fine caliber would be so discriminatory against all God’s creatures, great, small, endangered and imaginary. He gave a little wink. “I think they should let bunnies in young man.”

“I like bunnies. They’re soft and we could catch them.” My son happily agreed. “They should serve carrots with the happy meal so we could feed the rabbits.”

Now, the manager of the restaurant had seen to it that we got to sit and have our food brought to us. I was very grateful given the number of littles I was seeking to corral. She came by at this point, “Can I get you folks anything more?”

“Yes. We want bunnies allowed to eat at McDonald's.” my son explained.
Not missing a beat and earning my eternal love, she responded, "Oh...well, they could but see, they don't have any money."

I'm glad that the world can still bend to the nonsense of a five year old boy. Now I just have to come up with an answer to his follow up question in the car after the meal, "Hey Mom, the rabbits could work for the Easter Bunny! How come you didn't think of it?"

The-thee-the-the-tha-that's all Folks!

6 comments:

MightyMom said...

bwahahaha

what a FUN conversation!!

gotta love those oh so HELPFUL strangers that kept it going on and on and on for ya huh?

Amanda said...

That was a darling story. I love the way other people got involved as well. Reading it made my evening.

With all the question-answering, did you get to finish your fries?

SherryTex said...

Amanda --thanks. And yes I did finish my fries and got a second refill on the diet coke too. (I always do).

Mary Ellen said...

After raising four kids of my own and having a daycare business, I can relate to that really cute story!

One day while having lunch with my daycare crew, one of the boys declared, "Bat eat blood!" I have no idea what made him think of it, nothing red on his plate, no red drinks--just milk. I just looked at him and said, "You're right, Ryan, they also eat bugs and I hope you enjoy the flies I mixed in with your lunch!" He just laughed and as he ate his lunch he exclaimed how much he was enjoying the bugs in his food. Unfortunately, when his mother picked him up and asked what he had for lunch, he said; "Flies!" I had some 'splainin to do!

True story.

Joanne said...

That was wonderful! It's nice when others join in on the fun,

Joanne said...

That was wonderful! It's always rewarding when others join in on the fun!

Leaving a comment is a form of free tipping. But this lets me purchase diet coke and chocolate.

If you sneak my work, No Chocolate for You!