Tuesday, July 31, 2012

20 Things NOT to do Before Summer Ends

I was going to do 100 things Not to do before you die, but this is a happy place, so I condensed it to 20 not to do during the summer.  Have fun.

20) Eat Haggis.

19) Watch Golf on TV.

18) Jazzercize.
17) Bungee jump or Zorb or zipline.
16) Warm Beer...may cause one to consider doing #17 and that's really a bad idea.
15) Take Statistics.  (I've Done this so I can speak from experience).
14) Eat Alaskan King Crab in Indiana near Easter. (again, I've done this).
13) Try to read all of Tom Jones in one night after eating Alaskan King Crab. Bad idea. (and yeah, that happened too, a long time ago but I'm still scarred from the experience).
12) Use an air mattress if you are over 40 or turning 40. (I know of what I speak).
11) Get into a fight on the Internet about politics.  Most end with the equivalent of "Jane you ignorant slut." or at best,a Rosanne Rosanna Danna's "Never mind."
10) Watch reruns of Mork and Mindy.  They weren't that funny then. They're worse now.
 9)  purchase and put on your car a sticker of a kid (any kid, not just Calvin) peeing on anything.
 8) dutifully read the magazines on organization that are circa 2008 before recycling them....on the cover, "Time Management...it's about time."  Yeah...well... 
 7)  Own "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl." or let your kids watch it.
 6)  Admit to being a fan of 50 Shades of Whatever or Twilight. Bleah.
 5)  Ride a Unicycle. (There is no need for this skill).
 4) Eat carob.

 3) Have a dentist with an unpleasant demeanor.

 2) Recognize that your daughter is wearing a style that you wore when you were in high school, except when you did it, it wasn't cool. 

 1) Propose going anywhere if you don't mean it.  (So we're going to the pool). 

Happy Dog Days of Summer! I know what I won't be doing.

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