Monday, July 2, 2012

How to Pack 12 for a Wedding

Two weeks out:

Think about thinking about it. Promptly get headache.  Eat chocolate. Drink diet coke. Start to make a list. Lapse into sugar coma only to wake up and need to fix snack for kids who have congregated around your seemingly comatose body to watch a DVD on the tv in your room.

Ten days out:

Have car designated for trip break down.  Take to shop.  Get new battery, tires, brakes and oil change, the works.  Feel oddly smug about getting the car in shape without having intended to do any of it prior to the emergency.  Celebrate by ordering pizza.

One week out:  Panic.  Washing machine has died. Collect all laundry to take to the Washateria, order new machine, swear you will use time without ability to wash to make a list of what you will pack.

Three days out: Still panicking.  Google trip.  Begin thinking about seating arrangements.  Make emergency run for earbuds and batteries to keep teenagers sedated the entire time.  To avoid hyperventilating, seriously begin considering just packing the wedding clothes and pajamas and tooth brushes and shopping at Walmart as we go. 

Two days out: Get car washed so it will be clean when it gets trashed en route.   Have one child have a sleepover that evolves into a swimming party and doesn't end until 2 in the afternoon. Have another daughter decide today she will take her learning permit test.  Have the DMV declare they close at 4 when the website and phone tree say 5.  Cope with disappointment and the loss of an hour and a half.  Have paperwork take up three hours such that actual packing gets pushed off until the next day.  To avoid actually packing, blog about it and eat some of your emergency chocolate.

One day left: Irony alert as I get an email from about how today is No More Procrastination day.  (Darn Tootin! But that's because there is no more choice involved).
Take out Dry Erase  Board and put: YOU WILL NEED:  5 Underwear.  5 Pair of Socks.  5 pair of shorts/pants  5 shirts  2 pj's and your wedding clothes.  Then have each child stack their things.  Discover two don't have necessary wedding shoes despite having been taken out twice to get things for said event.  Decide to get en route at Walmart if necessary.  Eat the rest of your emergency chocolate.

Get list from husband of additional things we will need...cooler....from teens....chargers for phones...ipad, computer...and have to issue ruling on number of stuffed animals, books and toys one may bring along. Resolve to limit to one. Cope with puppy dog eyes begging from moppet 5 year old and cohort six year old who then get around the restriction of one per by declaring that this one is their younger sister's,(She's 16 months), the other one's Paul's (3), and the last two are mine and their dad's.

At 11 in the evening, when 12 laundry baskets are assembled and you are packing by day into backpacks, have a freak land hurricane hit such that you are plunged into darkness. Wonder why there is no back up emergency chocolate for an actual emergency.

4:00 AM day to launch:  Get up, pack by holding flashlight in between teeth and hope when all is said and done, everyone at least has enough underwear to make it to the next washing machine.

Danny and Anna's Wedding.  12 days, 2,897 miles, 12 people, 1 van, and no Emergency chocolate.

1 comment:

shelley colquitt said...

OHHHHH MYYYYYYY how I miss you.. I can see all of this happening hahaha.. you make my week

Leaving a comment is a form of free tipping. But this lets me purchase diet coke and chocolate.

If you sneak my work, No Chocolate for You!