Flunking Christmas

I'm not proud of it but there it sits like a lump of coal. 

And even worse, this isn't the first time it has happened.  Despite the 24-7 Christmas carols, the Advent wreath, the daily mail that includes well wishes and beautiful scenes both divine and worldly of this time of year, somehow I get to December 24th and say...."Aren't there a few more days before I have to get everything organized?" 

The answer is always "No." and a breathless run through the big box store of your choice doesn't cut it.   Because such actions, while capable of filling the house with stuff, reveal little except impulsive thought and even more impulsive purchases.  It's not that I don't make lists.  It's the execution of the thing that always ends up falling short.  I see things and think...no...I'll wait...it's not quite...and then I never seen another closer to the mark thing and the thing I return to get that turned out to be the very object I wanted to get, has long since gone.   My husband is the usual victim of these good intention phantom purchases; he is remarkably tolerant of my perpetual poor shopping skills but there have been others on the receiving end of Charlie Brown Christmases; where "I got a rock." might be close to the truth.        

This year, I tried to get him a few things.  I wanted to buy three chairs for our table, (could not find) a hedge trimmer, (sold out) a majong set (forgot) and a new winter coat for him (didn't have his size).  I'd also hoped to get the snow blower fixed but that didn't happen, have some gravel put in the pit where I created a monster divot from our 12 passenger van (never made it back to the store), and an extra bookshelf for our bedroom to help declutter (got distracted, bought other things for other people).   Ultimately, I managed to get him season three of the Big Bang Show and a peanut butter chocolate tree and these were on the fly as I had to sneak them by my husband who was with me at the time of purchase.  The gifts were stored in the car as we planned to sneak in gifts after they'd gone to bed.  Alas, that was a fatal delay.

For December 25th, my beloved only got the DVD's because of a mouse.  At some point, a rodent snuck into our car, found the candy and ate a quarter of it.  In the bag was a very pleased and stuffed creature stirring.  After we trapped said Suburban mousewife, I took out the bar revealing a quarter of it having been eaten.  He quietly deadpanned, "It's okay.  I don't want my Christmas present." But I felt thwarted.                                                    

So this year, 2011, I vow will be different.  I keep trying to be more attentive to detail, but get bogged down as the details mount; even the convenience of the Internet and fed ex hasn't been able to compensate for my disorganization thus far...so I've enlisted my children's assistance.  Each of them have been given a month to nag me.  I must acquire something thoughtful each calendar month which will be stored until December so that their father won't be reduced to a book originally ordered for someone else (another failed Christmas), or mouse eaten treats. 

While the youngers won't be much help in this matter, others have volunteered to take up the slack and help this slacker shopper make good.  With God as my witness, he will never be presentless again. 

If it works, I may have them take over nagging me about birthdays too.