Brain on the Fritz

Sunday I used a re-run because I couldn't think of anything to write.   Since I'm still suffering from writer's block, I thought I'd try a list but I couldn't think of anything to write in the list, so I thought I'd try a recipe but my brain is fried and fresh fried stale brain isn't appetizing.

Then I thought I'd tell you a funny story about my kids but they were very helpful today and there was no story.  So I'm here with Monday night and an empty mind. 

It's been a long dry spell and I've tried reading books on writing humor, writing prompts and the brain just says  "Gone Fishing."

Ten Things I'd write about if my brain weren't on vacation:

10) Why I hate the soccer/sucker mom season.  I despise the mad scramble for shin guards.  Evening practices after six for first graders is insane.  Having to pretend that there is no score when everyone knows there is one, also insane.  No kid ever repeats the mantra, "We don't keep score." if they won, but everyone does if you lose.  And the most important part of any sport is always, who brought snack and what did they bring?

9) In an attempt to restore order to chaos and repeal the first law of thermal dynamics, I have resolved to fill one bag for charity and one bag for trash every day until the house no longer feels as if it is imploding with stuff no one uses and no one fits. 

8) Why does no one hear the morning alarm clock but me? 

7) I miss chocolate....and ice cream....and orange juice and apples and pancakes with syrup.  13 weeks to go.   

6) Can't wait to see Megamind.  Hope it's good.   It looks hilarious. 

5) Why it is that hearing that it's not that I'm crazy or stupid because I disagree with passing bills one doesn't bother to read and which require massive pay-offs, kickbacks, waivers and specialized deals for specific constituencies and which do cost more than advertised, not do what they were designed or sold as being able to do or being designed to do, it's just that I'm scared and mislead doesn't exactly make me feel warm and fuzzy towards the President or those who engaged in this sort of legislative malpractice.

4) The problem with successfully completing home repairs is, bragging seems out of place and yet, warranted.  Hey!  Guess What! I fixed two doors.  Yes I made my kids and my husband inspect and try out the door I hung myself --drilled the holes for the screws and everything.    The door works the way doors are supposed to work...film at eleven. 

3) Not being able to write is like having a giant impenetrable wall in one's mind that reduces every experience to "so what?" even if the experience is grand or moving or traumatic, it is like being held in a mental stasis field but with all the emotions rolling around and the observations, but no way to really share them in a story form. 

2) 13 weeks from the due date....my brain just exploded. 

1)  All parental pain has meaning.  The other night my daughters were perpetually popping out of bed.  After an hour of "Good Night." "Good Night, I love you."  "GOOD night."  "Good NIGHT!" and "GET TO BED." and "GOOD NIGHT!" My two year old son hearing all this repetition, turned and said, "Good Night."

I'll try to get my brain back on line by the end of this week.  Thanks folks.