Over at the Register Today

It's been a while in prat because I've beeen on vacation and this is the first time I opened my computer except to pay some bills. ANyway, I'm in Bolivar. I love this place so much.  I'm with my family and that makes my heart ful as well.  As an added bonus, I got published this week. So I'm over at The Register today, discussing what one can do when you encounter someone in need of support for a pregancy. 

Ten Signs of Being Properly Beached

10) There are no alarms.
9) You forget to check your phone or your email.
8) There are reported sightings of multiple children playing cards together or by themselves reading.
7) Lunch is diet coke and chocolate.
6) It also acted as breakfast, because you slept through. (See #10).
5) People take deliberate naps.
4) The Television is off.
3) Stalking the ice cream truck is a competitive sport.
2) Don't know what day of the week it is...not sure of the time...not sure why anyone would need to know this.
1) Offered a pina-colada.  It's not yet twelve.  

Ten Things to Keep Yourself Sane This Summer

Every summer, I have to make a public service announcement for the sake of my sanity, and to ensure there is no confusion whatsoever amongst my offspring.  This formula, when used, limits the nags necessary to ensure we will both seize the day and soak in the joy of the season.  

10) Kitchen operating hours are 7:30-9, 11:45 to 1, and 5:30-7.  If you want food outside of the prescribed times when meals are being served, post KP duty and prior authorization are mandatory.

9)  We grow potatoes, we have couches.  We do not have or grow couch potatoes.  Exercise.  Every day.  Not negotiable.  Bonus if you exercise outside.

8) Read.  We have books in every room.  These books serve two purposes.  They grow your brain.  They also allow you to avoid any chores if you are opting to read.  HINT: You can be three times as lazy as your brother if you are reading a book.

NOTICE: I will quiz you.
SECOND NOTICE: I've read almost every book in this house. (Fair warning).  
THIRD NOTICE: Dad's read all the books I haven't.

7) Music.  We have a saxophone, two trombones, a trumpet, a clarinet, an acoustic and electric guitar, bells, a violin and a piano.  Play something.   It can even be the theme from your favorite video game that you're not playing right now.

6) Clean.  Your room.  Your room must be clean. Why?  Because I fired the maid. It was me and she wasn't doing a very good job.

5) NEVER say I'm bored.  This is a ticket to cleaning the basement, the garage, yard work, the bathrooms and folding socks.

4) Play a game with your siblings and with me.  Nothing is more satisfying than beating your parent in a game of skill.  Cards...chess, Catan...imagine the bragging rights if you just prove your brilliance.
P.S. I have some pride.  I won't play Stratego.  I have been beaten.  It still smarts.

3) We will go to the library, pool and museums and the zoo.  Once a week, we will be making a trip so...no worries.

2) We have a list with 81 things on it.  We're not Phineas and Ferb, but honestly, they had a lot of fun without screens...you can too.  Do something from the list before turning to the machines for entertainment.

1)  Learn to be not bored with not doing.  This is perhaps the most important thing one can learn during the summer.

Happy Summer Vacation

Ten Things I Love about the Start of School

Tomorrow is their first day and I have their backpacks ready to go.  I have the promise of going to the pool dangling over their heads to convince them that we can still celebrate the last day of summer vacation if they finish all the projects they've put off without me nagging.  The Staples commercial showing parents gliding down the aisles to the tune of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," still puts me in stitches because there's an element of joy to this annual tradition.  So, sorry kids, here's my top ten reasons for loving the return of the school schedule.


10) Fights over anything can be solved with the simple question, "Have you done your homework yet?"

9) Bed time can be strictly enforced without any sense of guilt over depriving my children of time watching classic movies, playing card games or goofing off in general.

8) I can stop living in fear that someone will mention the word "Camping" after someone else says, "What should we do this weekend?"

7) Won't have to nag about summer projects.

6) Will no longer have to figure out how to tactfully suggest that the outfit chosen for the day is not quite weather appropriate (corduroy pants and a sweater), or doesn't go (lavender with polka-dots shirt and plaid green shorts). Uniforms are a great great thing.

5) I'm no longer the sole fall guy. Saying, "Would you do this/say this/act like this in front of....insert teacher's name?" carries weight.


4) Patrolling the house to do a morning clean up will not have to wait until after 10 am; as all the kids who might object to such an action will be already in school.

3) My dining room table will no longer be the great Lego housing spot, co-opted for a giant game of Risk or held frozen in the midst of a three day Magic tournament. We might be able to...I don't know, eat on it again.

2) Because free time becomes more rare, weekends will now include a weekend cookout and a Sunday Nerf football game.  No one is exempted.  (Except this year, I'm the ref).  It's fun because occasionally the grown ups win and trash talk is not only allowed, it's presumed. 

1) My default driving setting, (to go to Saint Martin's) if I'm not thinking about it, 90% of the time won't be wrong.

Have a great school year!

Gratuity of 15% please

Back when we only had six, we took a long journey across half the country wherein we stopped at Niagara Falls, watched Fireworks over the river in Pittsburgh from our hotel room, visited the horse shoe turn and train museum, the Kellogg's factory, the dunes in Michigan and the Chicago Cubs.   Staying in hotels every night, I packed a backpack for bed time with everyone's pj's and a bag for each night with color coordinated outfits. 

We also stayed in places that provided free breakfast to cut expenses.  One morning, it was red day, so all of us, self included were wearing bright red shirts.  I had all six at the table as I brought bagels, cereal, milk and OJ to the masses.  My husband was packing and loading the car.   Bustling about, I got called by an elderly woman who had watched me bringing butter and an extra knife and napkins.  "I'll take a cup of coffee with a bit of cream and sugar." she asked. 

I wish I'd just said, "Coming right up."  instead of "I don't work here."  

Our Summer List

Every year at the end of school, we make a list of 100 things we hope to do during the summer.  It is by no means exclusive or mandatory, but it does get posted on the fridge so we never have a day where someone can say, "I'm bored." because there is always something on the list we can do.  Besides, if they do utter those two words, they know it is instant KP, laundry, toilet scrubbing duty. 

Here's our summer list.

1. Swimming lessons
2. Berry picking
3. Go to the Library
4. Cook out on the grill often.
5. Camping
6. Go to the park
7. Ice cream from a truck
8. Read comic books all day long.
9. Baseball games, Nats and O's.
10. Go to the beach.
11. Visit both sets of Grandparents.
12. Drive in Movie.
13. Visit Civil War Battle grounds.
14. Zoo.
15. Visit 2 colleges for oldest.
16. Go to a Waterpark.
17.  Firecrackers
18. Fireflies
19. Swimming, swimming and more swimming.
20. Train for track (that's a high schooler) The rest of us will either ride bikes or skates or some such.
21. Visit historic places we haven't been.
22. Driving lessons
23. Summer Band Camp
24. Sleep over with friends
25. Potty train 3 year old. (I have to dream).
26. read 100 books. (We put this on our list every year).
27. Go to a summer concert.
28.  Put on a summer concert.
29.  Date night once a week.
30. Game day any day it rains.  (all cards, monopoly, magic, no screens).
31. Grow lots of tomatoes
32.  Trampolines
33. Going to an amusement park or fair.
34. Riding a horse.
35. Staring at the stars and seeing a meteor shower or falling stars.
36. Lemonade stand
37. Play capture the flag.
38. Watermelon
39.  Ice Cream.
40. Tour Washington DC
41. Paddle boats.
42. Feed the ducks
43. Go Fishing.
44.  Sunbathe with no discernable stopping point.
45.  See a play.
46. Paint the deck.
47. Make a scrapbook.
48. Watergun fight.
49. Throw a party.
50.  Petting zoo.
51. Visit a farm.
52.  Make jam.
53.  Learn to sew or knit or some craft involving thread/needles.
54. Cartwheels and hand stands.
55. Card castles.
56. Milkshakes at the park.
57. Aquarium.
58. Basketball camp.
59. Learn to skate.
60. Chalk drawings
61. Bubbles.
62. Remote control planes and cars.
63. Wiffleball league.
64. Skateboarding
65. Paint toenails.
66. Canoeing
67. Sandcastles.
68. Hiking.
69. Smores
70. Singalong
71. Move to medium level of drums on Rockband.
72. Teach middles to read, do multiplication tables more fluidly
73.  Write letters once a week to someone.  (At camp, we had to write once a week a chicken letter to get lunch on Sunday which was fried chicken, so I'm going to have icecream letters on Sunday, same deal).
74. Daytrips to Shenandoah, Annapolis, Leesburg.
75. Art Day.
76. Do Summer workbooks M-F so they don't drive us crazy come August.
77. Celebrate 20th anniversary, make kids watch wedding tape.
78. Family Reunion in Tennessee.
79. Visit one of the places profiled in Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.  Itching to try a C.M.P. over in Baltimore.
80. Tripple A Ballparks once a month.
81. Cook Brisket all day long.
82. Playgroup for toddlers once a week.
83. Find jobs either paying or volunteer for oldest two.
84. Work on Helen book.
85. Invite friends to come over once a week.
86. Learn a piece of music a month on the piano
87.  Start to learn Guitar.
88. Sleep in.
89. Exercise every day somehow.
90. Pillow fight.
91. Blow dandelions.
92. Catch tadpoles or frogs.
93. Collect rocks.
94. Build fort.
95. Frisbee
96. putt putt golf.
97. Dance
98. Ride a rollercoaster.
99. Do nothing all day.
100.  Get text books and school uniforms for school (incoming freshman is very excited).

Have a great Summer!  I can't wait to get started.  Think I'll begin with 99.

How to Tell Your Toddler Had a Good Day

Any time you have to ask the question, "Why did you paint your arms purple?" 
Answer: "I was pretending."

Me: "What were you pretending?"

Answer:"That I was on vacation."

Me to myself: Where does she go?  I don't know and I'm not sure I could find out but I'll take two tickets anyway please. 

7 Quick Takes

1.  Trees

A week ago, I was in Texas seeing my family.  I told my husband that there's a certain sort of tree, it grows near the beach, mesquitte.  When I see those wild scratchy trees, they're the trees of home and I love them the way he loves those pines that just start to dot the landscape when you hit Connecticut.  That being said, I love Maryland Spring and keep pointing out the bursts of color everywhere to my kids because for me, even after living here 15 years, it's still a shock to my brain.  They're bored by my color commentary about the dogwoods and the pear and the cherry blossoms now but I know, these will be the trees that make them remember home one day even if they move far away. 

2. Sliding

My daughter plays softball and she's pretty adept at batting. (Very patient).  She throws well and she fields strongly enough to hold a spot at third.  When I signed her up, I was pleasantly anticipating going to her games.  She announced last night she didn't want to play.  I thought maybe it was being 12, maybe she was feeling overwhelmed, I asked why. She couldn't say. 

This morning when I talked about getting her slider pants for the afternoon practice, she related a story about a friend who plays on a travel team who got seriously hurt sliding into base. "Are you afraid you'll get hurt sliding into base?" I asked.  Bingo.  We talked about how the only way to live a life uninjured is to sit and eat and sleep.  She agreed that sounded pretty dull and after breakfast, she gave me a big hug and told me she'd assembled her equipment and put it in the van for this afternoon.  She has practice at 4:30.  I'll be there with her new slider pants, a waterbottle and snacks. Her first game is tomorrow. 

Doing the mental happy dance because I guessed right! Cue Andre(Fessik) the Giant saying, "Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head."

3. We Are Here to Amuse

Having a child with Down Syndrome, I get services at the house twice a week.  These dedicated ladies have been wonderful with my son and very patient with my daughters.  For my three year old's birthday, we'd given her a dress and a crown. One of the ladies brought the Queen a magic wand.  It was perfect.  Gina has been turning people into princesses ever since with a mere touch. (She'd share the crown with whoever she deemed Queen for the day...hour....two minutes).  I got to wear it for a time but I forgot I had it on when I loaded the car to go for pick up and so the people on the road got a chuckle until I got to the stop light and realized I was still in Cinderella mode. 

4. Potluck

I have been asked to join a group of conservative political women who blog occasionally on issues called Potluck and I have said yes.  Potluck is just that, a series of articles or links with some analysis of articles by a group of conservative women.  It is dependent upon the person as to the style and the mood. While I sometimes write stuff here that is political, it is usually with a bit of humor laced generously in the mix.  Potluck is more serious and I'm still finding my way in it.   I'm honored to have been asked.  I post about once a week.

5. Happy Birthday to my brother Danny! 

He wrote a great piece called a year in review at the age of 38.  Link is here.  Can't wait to see what he writes for 39! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/notes/daniel-green/the-year-in-review-age-38/387308881569 Go click on it and wish him happy birthday.

6.  It's Not Wrong...

My older kids play a card game called Magic with their father mostly; and each card has a little bit of humor at the bottom, a flavor text.  "You go first."  is a flavor text for a magic spell that forces creatures to tap during their turn without getting to do anything.  "Aieeeee." is the text for a goblin flunkie that gets sacrificed to give every other creature a stronger attack power. You get the idea. 

My four year old sometimes watches these games with interest but sometimes, she mishears or misunderstands.  So she piped up the other day, a bit of flavor text.  "Let us be creditors and not prey."  I know it was supposed to be predators but...she's not wrong.

7.  Summer Vacation Will Happen

We planned a reunion in Gaitlinburg in mid July. (Cue the song, A Boy Named Sue...). My daughter that was worried about sliding into home wants to go rock climbing on one of those walls....with me.  I'd tell you that I counseled prudence but not so secretly, I want to go do that too.