I mean besides being able to possibly avoid a very contagious potentially deadly disease...
There are as many crazy therories as there are theorists, but I'll try to outdo them all.
When news broke that vaccines were approved, I wanted to sign up right away, but the state is deciding who gets the shots and in what order. I get it. I'll get to get it. I've received half of it, and in two weeks the other half. They're being careful and reasonably so. Can't have too many super soldiers running around like Steve Rodgers, we might get a crazy Bucky on our hands instead. Some are worried it includes microchips that will turn us into zombies that only do what Bill Gates tells us...but I've not had any problems other than I really do want to install Windows 10 on my computer and I don't know why.
The companies putting out these shots, they're testing versions for kids and mine were psyched about possibly being test subjects and maybe becoming mutants. However when I told them, if it grew a third arm as a side effect, I would no longer accept unclean rooms, they said they'll wait for FDA approval. I have to admit, now I'm disappointed.
Last week I drove to six flags to get the first shot, and it made me shrink. I may not be tall enough to get the second one when I return. Then I realized I was slouching from the year long sitting at a computer screen isolatory way of life we've endured.
I think the shot gave me weight gain, I'm sure it wasn't the pizza for dinner last night or the french fries or the ice cream. The medication must have given me procrastination, it's why I haven't done the paperwork for this week or the dishes yet. It's why I took a nap as well. The side effects have no end, so I'm not sure when I'll stop napping. I may need to do so tomorrow too, you never know.
Treatment for the side effects includes coupious amounts of chocolate...I've done my own independent research on the matter so you'll have to trust me. It's not some crazy wacky theory I found on the internet, I made it up myself. It cures dementors so why not Covid shot side effects.
Speaking of side effects, I've noticed my voice is slurred. It could be the wine from dinner or the need to not stay up late binge watching whatever new thing it is I've found on Netflix, but I'm sure the need to binge watch into the wee hours is also a side effect. I wonder if I can sue? I've become acutely aware of every action since the shot, even if I did it before the shot, since before it was a coping mechanism. Now, it is a reaction worthy of excessive fiscal compensation.
There is one side effect I can report with absolute certainty that is the result of that first shot in the arm. I've felt this bubble of something, of being able to think beyond the moment, of anticipating walking out the door, and one day, seeing other people's faces. Side effects include making plans, preparing for the future, and remembering there's so much more to this life than inside the four walls of our house...so go and sign up and get yourself vaccinated to help your family and yourself, because the side effect of hope is sooooooo worth it.
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