Thursday, September 15, 2016

A New Charity is Born*

There are all sorts of philanthropic entities in the world, all designed to allow every one of us feel good as we part with our own resources for the betterment of other people. There are charities for kids, adults, whales, elephants, tigers and polar bears, plants, land preservation, oceans, to name the stars and rehabilitate guinea pigs. There are even charities for politicians which may not qualify as any of the above, though the rehabilitation program sounds promising.
What with all the options out there, you would think every possible need a human, or for that matter, any living or non living thing could require is somehow addressed by the generosity of others via a non profit. Not so. We need a new organization to meet a heretofore desperately unmet human desire which helps all of society. It promotes proper mental, physical, social and emotional health to its beneficiaries.  It removes gridlock, prevents fraud, waste, abuse and neglect on a social, political, emotional, economic, corporate, global and personal level. No one in the history of life on this planet does not have this desire rooted in their core.
What is this need?  To have a world of not actual beavers, but people who act as beavers to their community.  So I'm launching Operation Give a Damn. Dedicated to righting the wrongs of the world brought on by sloth, ignorance, arrogance, apathy and burn out, Operation Give a Damn would train volunteers to act as surrogates for those in society who through their actions and words reveal themselves to not give a fig about the pain, sufferings, stresses or actual needs of others.
Naturally, this sort of entity would need at least one person per five on the planet to address the wrongs everyone suffers on any given day. So as to fund this properly, I'm guessing we'll need 1.5 million people to each donate ten dollars to start, and then we can get to the serious business of training the 2 billion people designated "The Damned" to deal with cable companies, bill collectors and cumbersome government regulations. They will also act as surrogate holders for phone service from large faceless corporations and stand in during serious traffic jams.
Operation Give a Damn needs you. The world is filled with individuals, governments, organizations and businesses who don't have damn givers.  We need damn givers!  We need people to give to Operation Give a Damn.  You can help save the world from being damned by damning up the stresses and strifes of life.   Never has there been a greater need for people to give a damn.  I'm not saying the world is damned if you don't, but imagine what the world would be like, if you do.   

*Apparently there are actually charities that have something close to the name, I wasn't stumping for any of them, and this is pure fiction, pure imagination mixed with a bit of everything's been so busy lately, I thought a tad of absurdity would do me good.   

1 comment:

Cascia Talbert said...

I am still laughing! We should give to this organization. Have a great weekend.

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