Friday, March 25, 2011

Kinetic Military Action Preparations

Think this policy regarding Libya was just made up on the fly? Think again.  We've uncovered the secret Commander in Chief to-do list that was sketched out and completed before the planes started flying.

10) Pack a tie in case you need to give a formal address.  Recall how the Neo-cons jumped all over you that Christmas for not suiting up.

9) Send "Tweet" to Congress:  Remember that article in Time on How Much I'm Like Reagan?

8) Tell CBO to release the real numbers for the deficit.  Re: It will take a while to type out all the zeros in the discrepancy between the prior figures and the actual ones...or at least closer to actual ones now released, it will buy time.

7) Order George W. Bush an autographed copy of "My Pet Goat."

6) Google golf courses I want to hit after we're done with our part of the offensive.

5) Distract Biden with the promise of a DNC fund raiser in New York where there would be cake. (It's true).

4) Write victory speech. Include words "Winning the Future" and a gratuitous swipe about how I get the "Mission Accomplished."

3) Troll the internet to watch Press, Democrats and Liberals engage in mental yoga to support me. Laugh. 

2) Watch Republicans try to reflexively not support these actions and be unable to do so.  Laugh more.

1) Unfriend Qaddafi on Facebook.

*On a serious note, semantics aside, no matter what any party in charge calls something, any action on a people that involves over 112 missles hitting targets within a country with jets still flying, still dropping, probably is only called one thing by those who must duck and cover, something close to hell.

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