Monday, May 10, 2010

About Yesterday

There are times when I'm writing that I forget myself and the fact that the Internet is permanent in a way paper and ink is not.  And so I must consider my motives for yesterday's post as a beloved friend pointed out, were not without the element of self righteousness.

No one deserves to be condemned for what they said or did for a moment on their worst day anymore than someone deserves praise for their very best.  We are all more than we recognize and often less than we manage daily, hourly, by the minute...second....we are perpetually children of God who screw up.  And awareness of that fundamental reality is the only means by which we can cooperate with God's grace to avoid such moments.

That woman acted in shock.  I acted in reflection.  Ergo, I should have known better.

So I am sorry, I should have been more charitable to her even though she may never read these words or those words, I should have been kinder with my words here.  

And I am sorry to all of you who read this blog for failing you by not being more self aware.  It isn't that one shouldn't speak up or speak out when these sort of things happen, but that no one deserves to be immortalized in such a fashion. 

Truth without context can be pitiless.  Charity without truth is simply sentimentalism.   Charity and Truth together is the goal; and it can be joyfully done with humor laced and dolloped in there, but I did not show it then.   Where I wanted to go with that piece was to the fact that all these ladies were here, anticipating the endless promise of their daughters, but what I saw was the endless promise of the women there; because they were all in the process of growing women and men, and it was grand and edifying to see.  They were all in the throws of raising people and working and pursuing dreams or suffering hardships or heart aches or starting over and still they'd made time to stop today, to be present to each other and for their daughters and that was the wonderful wonderful and still more wonderful element of the experience.  

But I got caught up in that moment. I missed the big picture when push came to shove, distracted by a careless word and willing to entertain portraying my irritation and pain for all to see like a badge here.  One cannot be luminous if one celebrates the dark and we are all called to be luminous mysteries to each other.

So I'm sorry.   And I've taken down the post --it's in my drafts as a reminder that clever does not equal kind and all that we do matters.


Anonymous said...

Shoot. Now I really want to read that post. Hmmm.

MightyMom said...

And yet show grace and mercy to yourself too

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