Friday, October 10, 2008

Reflections on the Election and the 850 Billion Dollar Bailout...

I want in on the pork pie.

I mean, I’m willing to be bought and what’s more, I’ll even tell you what you get for your 850 billion. You get a promise.

That’s right, a promise I’ll keep except if I don’t want to or deem it no longer valid.

I promise not to ask for more.

I also promise that all the problems will go away. If the taxpayers only pony up, all the problems will just disappear. At least, they will for me.

Until such a time as congress okays my modest proposal for bailing out a writer who hasn’t yet been foreclosed, invest in Euros or Campbell’s condensed soup and peanut butter. Maybe Ramen nooles.

I’d follow my own advice if my 401K was able to actual invest in anything but it’s losing money faster than I could spend it and that’s saying something.

From listening to his speeches and ads, Obama considers any alternative proposals associated with McCain or anyone with an “R” attached to their name, to be reckless, inequitable and misguided at best. For the good of the whole country, we should all just stop pretending we work for anyone but the government. We should be happy to do this because, as Joe Biden says, “It’s patriotic.”

Silly me, I thought we fought a revolution to be able to pay less.

But, Obama says it’s fair so it must be. He went to Harvard and is a supra genius type guy with all the answers and wisdom necessary to fix everything.

Let’s just say, he’d better be.

Obama’s tax plan proposes that 95% of the country can fairly ride on the back of the remaining 5%. I’m not sure how that is actually fair as much as it is advantageous to the plurality of voters.

Taxing the rich will of course, in no way affect the rest of the country. The wealthy in that 5% won’t say…lay off workers, cut budgets or adjust their businesses, raising costs to limit damage to themselves. No. They’ll stay status quo, as if they were playing economic freeze tag and just got touched and have to wait for permission to move. Yeah. That will happen.

The CEOS, business owners with excessive largess and people making more than 250K themselves in profit will look at that tax plan and say, “Tag, you’re it.” and the middle class, small businesses and lower class will get to munch a bunch of dollars they didn’t get a vote on to implement, and can’t afford.

Understand if he wins, I will hope that he's absolutely right.

Obama has always wanted change, but found each step along the way towards power that the influence he had acquired was insufficient to the job to create an actual brave new world. So, being smart, he always sought the next level of leadership to be able to affect the world of influence he had just left. Thus, the community organizer became a two year state senator and then a two year senator running for president. But will being President be sufficient? I mean, you can’t control for outside factors if you only rule one country.

If he is the one we’ve been waiting for, for heaven’s sake and earth’s, let’s name him King of the World now. Why wait for the election? Crown the man already.

Then, let’s find out what’s in his 401K.

For more FREE humor, less painful than taxes or looking at your quarterly reports,!


MightyMom said...

b]oh I am loving this up one side and down the other! may have to repost it with your permission sometime next week!

Amy said...

Preaching to the choir, sister! I fear what will happen when the masses realize that the Obamassiah is NOT.

CalderaGal said...

Well said!

Farmhouse Kitchen Sinks said...

well this wont help anybody

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