Last Minute Trick-or-Treating Trials

I am normally a last minute kind of shopper. Given the pickings this year for Halloween, I have to think I'm a dying breed. Can it be with the advent of the internet being so ubiquitous, it no longer makes sense to the retailers or the algorythmns counters to every have stuff in stock for those who wake up and discover, there's only one day left before a holiday?  

I know I can't be the only one. I saw a frustrated Mom pushing a cart with two kiddos, searching for those elusive costumes.  I overheard a Dad saying, "Next time, we're doing this earlier."  and fishing through the discarded stack of costumes people tried on and found didn't fit.

My daughter's school eliminated props from costumes, rendering her Ranger costume a rather strange outfit. She didn't want to go as an archer without a bow and quiver full of arrows.  We figured, we'd snag a Harry Potter robe and call it a day.  The costumes in the first store, things no person should wear.  The costumes in the second store?  Designed and created for people who would allow their daughters to dress  in skin tight things that no one should wear.

As a writer, we have to create articles three to six months in advance of when they will be posted. When did all of retail get on the same schedule? Where's the store that recognizes, we have lives and  those lives are last minute?   Don't point me to the big box stores, that's where we were.

So I have a proposal for one of those big stores.  Have a last minute stock store for each holiday. Clear out an aisle and lable it, "Last Minute Shopping."  Don't put the premium stuff in there until the day before. Advertise you're the place to go when you're out of time.  I promise, we will beat a path to your door. We will buy you out.

I still have to wonder, in this age of cos-play, how is it there's a dearth of costumes at any time of year?

I proposed being a ghost.  Or a Charlie Brown version of a ghost.  We have at least ten costumes I could put together, she wanted none of them.  I know she still grieved not being able to be the ranger with the bow and arrows.

We went to get decorations.  These proved equally elusive. We'd have been in great shape if we were decking the halls or preparing for New Year's Eve.   My daughter wouldn't go for being the new year or wearing a top hat and sporting plastic champagne glasses or for being Rudolph. I pointed out she could say "Happy New Year" or "Merry Christmas." if she wanted.  No dice.

 The third store, we found two discounted racks of mish mash and in there, a witch outfit both modest and not uncool and grabbed a big bag of candies and some mesh bags for getting the trick-or-treats.  She is sky high happy.  I get home.

My teenager also wants to dress up, and wants to go to the store.

Halloween is Next Week...

I love dressing up for Halloween.  It is my favorite part of the holiday. (I know you thought it was the chocolate, but honestly, I've always loved the dressing up part.  Besides, the chocolate at Halloween is usually 90% Milky Ways...which are underachieving Snickers bars and if I'm going to eat cheap chocolate, it's going to be at least satisfying).  

However, I never like to repeat myself.  In recent years, I've felt less than inspired, mostly because I'm usually putting together all my kids' costumes or helping them come up with creative ideas.  This year, we've got it already set and ready to go, so I had the luxury of reflecting on the matter before shipping and handling would render the prospect of a costume cost prohibitive.  

Costumes can be tricky, since many of those crafted for women fail to account for anyone over a size four, and tend to involve in many cases, life choices with respect to wardrobe that no one should respect.  In the past, I've been Helen of Troy, A  professor from Hogwarts, Supergirl, Jesse from Team Rocket, a crewmember from Star Trek and a hobbit. The Geek power in me wins over almost every time.   I wanted to do something different.

Dressing up is supposed to allow you to play out some part of your psyche you tend not to allow out into the world, so I have to wonder...what am I saying when I've opted for this:  

I'm guessing it says, I have many teenagers in my home and sometimes, snark is a coping mechanism.  I will say, my daughters laughed and said, "I'm too nice to be Mother Gothel." 

 

Witch Costume Will We Wear?

I love Halloween.  I make no bones about it.  I start thinking about it as soon as we get half way through September.  We have lots of costumes so that's never a problem though I've been known to work hard with a kid to craft "the costume" when they're inspired.  I love it when they're excited and when they're excited, I just can't help myself and we wind up going over the top. 

My husband also loves it.  He buys pumpkins almost every grocery stop. We carve them all.  We don't get many trick-o-treaters but it doesn't matter. We always buy candy. We always have lights on, and we always hope for more. Even if no one comes,  we have a blast anyway.  Even our youngest son last year got into the act and knows it is coming. He's planning on repeating his role as a dinosaur.  We celebrate it as a night of imagination and silliness and whimsy.  No shirkers, not even the one who thinks he's too cool and doesn't really dig sweet stuff.

However, there are those who would say that anyone who goes about saying Happy Halloween is deserving of a good chastening and to be horsewhipped by twizzlers and made to watch bible cartoons until they beg for forgiveness.  They claim that every year it becomes more depraved, more sugary, more a means of introducing the innocent to the occult, not to mention processed corn sugary nut added in many cases cheap chocolate goodness, than a time of letting children be whimsical and explore the dangerous world of imagination. 

There is a need, a desperate need in this world for deliberate silliness and joy that is not juvenile but rather, child like. Halloween allows for that explosion of creativity in expression, in carving, in costumes, in the celebration of everyone's play and pretend. Though it puts many a calorie on my hip and has never put a dollar in my pocket, indeed it takes many but I gladly give them, I say God bless it.  

So when this year, those who view Halloween as a doorway to all things grave made it such that my kids cannot be witches at the October 31st parade, my brain temporarily jerked into a rebellious mode.  I am not normally a rabble rouser, I normally get things and try to go along.  However, this stance is akin to handing out toothbrushes if you're not a dentist by trade.  The idea needs to be t.p'd.  But since it can't, since it has been decided, I can only register my protest through cleverness and/or out and out defiance.  

I do not wish my children to learn to be disrespectful, however....even the most modest of my children wasn't taking this without a grain of salt and touch of derision.  They recognize that this is play and pretend and not real.  I trired to explain but it's hard when one's own heart isn't in it. Eventually, I just can't.  "I don't think this will lead to the occult.  I presume our weekly mass, daily prayers, Catholic school years, constant talking to you all about an integrated Catholic life and the example your father and I have presented with our lives and our friends and our family are sufficient to the task and won't be undone by a day of pretending to be vampires, ghosts and witches. I trust that we are forming your hearts and minds well enough to withstand the assault of costumes and candy, whimsy and silliness." 

"Yeah Mom...blah blah blah."  "So, we really can't be witches?"
"No witches."
The car was silent for a moment...only a moment.
"No witches.  What about wizards?" One asked.  "I'm going as a werewolf. They didn't say that was against the rules." another volunteered.
"Can I go as Glinda of the Wizard of Oz? She's a good witch." a third chimed in.

My oldest called from college.  Filled in on the latest news, he who had played Giles Corey in Arthur Miller's play suggested going as the cast of The Crucible. 

My first thoughts had run to Wendy, Samantha, Sabrina and Hermione.  Clearly none of us were taking this well.  None of us wanted to follow the spirit let alone the letter of the law. There were all sorts of arguements about why if not Witches, were fairies or elves or orcs or gobblins or superheroes that might be darker allowed?  What about fairy tale villians and Disney villians and supervillians? What about Starwars and StarTrek, mummies and zombies, or just plain monsters like vampires and Frankenstein?  What was the line? What moved the line? Where would the line stop? They could feel the options of costumes shrinking before them and it bothered them.  We'd stopped at the comic store for one girl to get a t-shirt. 

Then it hit me.  "We should go as interogatives." I got a lot of blank looks.
"Who." "What." "How." "Where." "Why" and "Which."   There were evil grins all around by those who got it and the obligatory explantion to those who didn't.  They suggested going as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I got treated to a chorus of "Sand Witch!" "Sand  Witch"  I smiled. 

PB&J might be a great protest, since that is also banned due to allergies.

What will a day of going as parts of speech lead to? One shudders to imagine...but then, I believe that's how we come to have these sorts of over scrupulous rules about holidays, by being afraid to let imagination occasionally run free.  

Treats Sans Tricks

Remember when video stores had a curtained off room for "adult" videos?

Given my recent sojourn to the costume store, perhaps it's time to do the same for Halloween stores. Between the leftovers from SAW I, II, III, XVI and LXIX, and the sexy nurse/cheerleader/DMV cashier and the single row of truly tasteless costumes designed for men, 90% of the store is rated R or worse.

Having a slew of children in tow, I asked for the 1-800 number to complain.
I called the number. It advertised 900 numbers and calling "friends" for by the minute fun. Waiting, I got a person who claimed if I wanted to complain, I needed to call this other number. I called it. I was on hold for 12 minutes at which point, when I pushed pound to leave a message, it hung up.

Some conservatives and some Christians fear Halloween's pagan roots and the references to magic and the occult. Some liberals and some atheists and/or agnostics resent the Christian roots and the celebration of a holiday period. Trust me when I say, all would be united in their loathing of this particular costume advertised as "Tricky Dick." I had to wonder, what self hating soul would design/create/purchase/wear this giant phallus?

October 31st should be a time of whimsy, imagination, a touch of fright and a swirl of creativity. It's supposed to be like the fall leaves, splashes of color and chaos before the blanket of long cold and snow to come. The next door neighbor that hangs out on his roof dressed as Batman, the family down the street that decks their yard out more and more each year, and the family that dresses in theme --the Wizard of Oz, the Justice league, and a basketball team; these are crafted moments of joy and memory worthy of a chocolate bar or two.

When we were trick or treating, my middle son summed it up nicely. Knocking on a door, the other children yelled "Trick or Treat." but when he came to the door, he said, "Just treats please." No tricks.

My sentiments exactly.

Short Definition of an Optimist

At a Comic Book Shop in the mall, there was a rack of costumes. While Batman, Spiderman and Superman were well represented in all sizes, only two costumes appeared to have been ordered to fit women wanting to indulge in Halloween traditions: Halle Berry' Catwoman and Daredevil's Sai wielding ninja girlfriend, Electra.

Good luck fellas.

Now I read and have read comic books since I could read. To this day, I am puzzled that the costume purveyors don't have Marvel Girl, Storm, Kitty Pryde, Phoenix, Dark Phoenix, all manner of Catwoman and Batgirl costumes available for October 31st. Who wouldn't want to dress like the Winsome Wasp or Megan of Excalibur, or Emma Frost after she joined the X-men. Honestly, I'd have suited up my entire group as the X-men if the manufacturers had created any options other than Wolverine.

But it isn't just the X-men that suffer from this problem. It happens with Lord of the Rings and Star Wars too. I mean, Eowyn rides into battle, hacks up the Witch King, providing the turning point in the battle and is there a costume for her? No. Not even a wig and pretty dress from her time in the Rohan court!

And I remember when Star wars first came out. There were Han Solo figures, R2D2, C3PO, Chewbacca, even the unfortunate ewoks and Jabba the Hut, but Leia? Forget about it. Princess Amidala is available but most people over the age of 20 would like to erase from their adult memory, any recall of Lucas' second trilogy that prequelled the first.

Searching the costume sites is a dicey endeavor. Lots of the potential outfits border on the pornographic. I mean, they make the Halle Barre and the Electra pieces look a bit like Maid Marian and Juliette. Maybe the comic book guys are banking on desperation to close the deal.

I've however come up with my own idea for Halloween, and I'll even get to be a superhero in the process. This year, I'm the Invisible Woman.

Happy Halloween Week!