Treats Sans Tricks

Remember when video stores had a curtained off room for "adult" videos?

Given my recent sojourn to the costume store, perhaps it's time to do the same for Halloween stores. Between the leftovers from SAW I, II, III, XVI and LXIX, and the sexy nurse/cheerleader/DMV cashier and the single row of truly tasteless costumes designed for men, 90% of the store is rated R or worse.

Having a slew of children in tow, I asked for the 1-800 number to complain.
I called the number. It advertised 900 numbers and calling "friends" for by the minute fun. Waiting, I got a person who claimed if I wanted to complain, I needed to call this other number. I called it. I was on hold for 12 minutes at which point, when I pushed pound to leave a message, it hung up.

Some conservatives and some Christians fear Halloween's pagan roots and the references to magic and the occult. Some liberals and some atheists and/or agnostics resent the Christian roots and the celebration of a holiday period. Trust me when I say, all would be united in their loathing of this particular costume advertised as "Tricky Dick." I had to wonder, what self hating soul would design/create/purchase/wear this giant phallus?

October 31st should be a time of whimsy, imagination, a touch of fright and a swirl of creativity. It's supposed to be like the fall leaves, splashes of color and chaos before the blanket of long cold and snow to come. The next door neighbor that hangs out on his roof dressed as Batman, the family down the street that decks their yard out more and more each year, and the family that dresses in theme --the Wizard of Oz, the Justice league, and a basketball team; these are crafted moments of joy and memory worthy of a chocolate bar or two.

When we were trick or treating, my middle son summed it up nicely. Knocking on a door, the other children yelled "Trick or Treat." but when he came to the door, he said, "Just treats please." No tricks.

My sentiments exactly.