Luminous Cross

Yesterday, I was flat. Moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer, from the dryer to the couch to begin the hard slog of folding, I just felt empty. Two weeks of not writing had left me wondering (as I am neurotic this way), could I write, was writing what I should do?  Or was it an exercise in ego that took me away from my main vocation, parenting these ten children? 

So I told God, "I need to know YOUR will.  I know Mary obeyed perfectly, so she got an angel to tell her directly what God's plan was.  I don't merit an angel, but I'm stupid and stubborn so I need a big NEON sign on a Silver Platter, what do you want me to do?"  Then I folded the clothes, dealt with a sulking teen because Wendy's messed up his order and so all he got was fries (mine), convinced a reluctant 10 year old to do math and an 8 year old to read, did the dishes and picked up school supplies for the new high school student who was hyperventilating over 3 ring binders.   When we got back from the Popsicle social (swimming lessons were to follow but got canceled due to thunderstorms), I checked my email. 

There was a Neon sign on a silver platter.  1) The Arch Diocese was considering my application to be a writer for them and 2) Museitup publishing sent me a contract for THE BOOK OF HELEN.  I owe God some serious knee time in thanks and gratitude, 1) because I'm very happy and grateful and 2) because He took my silly demand for a overt message seriously.   I'm glad He humors my impatience. 
But He expects reciprocity from me.  

To celebrate, I got to change two diapers, my teen said, "That's nice. I have homework." and the other said, "Stop calling people and help me pack for school."  So I did.   My younger children wanted to throw a party, so today, we're making a cake and I may get balloons and champagne.  

Back when I was in graduate school, my advisor asked, "How will you keep from being seduced by academia?" as I detailed my dream of running an inner city school for students with special needs that provided real services, cleaning for low income housing, home repair, landscaping and a soup kitchen.   Being a smartalec, I responded, "That's my husband and children's job."  I don't know why I said children, as at the time I had one.  But God understood and essentially said, "Okay, that's your path to holiness."  and graciously gave me this luminous cross.  

So today, I'm celebrating....and getting more school uniforms, a lunch bag to replace the one that's broken, and I have to stop by the doctor's for medical records and have reached critical mass on the dry cleaning...so in the midst of triumph, it will still all be very real.  

Thanks for sharing in my joy! Now I have to get to the real work.