The Dog Caught the Car

For those not familiar with the writing for more than fun model, professional writers are supposed to make pitches to magazines somewhere between three to six months before a magazine will run the feature.  The editor then says,something like "That sounds good, go for it.  It's due in six weeks or what have you." and the writer then labors to craft what they said they wanted to write.  Because I've mostly stayed in the safe cocoon of writing blogs and one shot wonders, I never pitched. 

Part of it was being a young (in writing terms) writer, I don't think six months ahead.  In my own life, six minutes ahead is pushing it.  But I'd been wanting to grow and the one shot markets with the advent of blogs, have dried up a bit, (Why buy the cow) so I knew I'd have to start branching out if I wanted to continue. 

So last week, I made a pitch.  I got a yes. 

Now I am scared out of my mind that I will finally prove in print, I am an idiot.  Mind you, with typos, mishaps and misspellings, the Internet already has sufficient documentation, but I can always shrug and say, "Hey, it's the Internet. What you gonna do?"  I'm also worried I'll choke.  I have a history of this to back up that fear.  In grade school, whenever the volley ball would be sent my way, it either found the floor or my head but never my perfectly positioned to bump arms. In my biggest dancing role ever in high school, we had these cool pink poodle skirts we were supposed to rip off to reveal pedal pusher shorts when the music switched from the 50's to the 60's.  My skirt fell off 8 counts into the music.  Graduate school, graduation day;  I'm going to have a Master's.  I back up the car at the grocery store and a truck scrapes my door, making the passenger side inoperable.  My history is replete with these sorts of moments.

So now I get to work and I can't wait...but having gotten the first part of the yes, I admit to having a huge wave of stupid wash over me as I stare at the blank page at what is supposed to be a "real" article.  I am the dog that caught the car.  Now what?

7 Quick Takes

1.  Yep.  They're related to me.

When you spend the evening convincing one child not to wear part of their Halloween costume as regular attire and you know your mother had to do the same thing and for the same reason you have to acknowledge your genetic relationship is more than mere eye color and body frame, it's personality as well. The reward: you are proclaimed "No fun."  Memo to Mom:  I'm very sorry.  Thank you for being willing to take that label when I wanted to wear a pink bathrobe sash as a headband.  

2.  On My Knees

A while back, it was suggested that I stop multi-tasking prayer as my sole means of fulfilling my daily prayer obligations and just get on my knees and do it alone for the five to ten minutes it would take. 

I have admittedly been resisting that advice just as surely as the person told to exercise resists starting a program that will bring about better health.  Yesterday I did it.  Finally.  It was enormously difficult because I wanted to be distracted.  I could hear the TV in the other room.  I could hear the sounds of the world outside.  I thought of all I could be doing.  But the resulting reserve allowed me to manage through the evening which went into extra innings.

3.  Any Day at the ER is a Not Exactly a Good Day

We made a trip last night for a middle child because of stomach cramps that had lasted two hours.  Having to drive after midnight out in the world only to find out we just need to eat more apples and carrots is Fun times.  Nuff said.

4.  At Cross Purposes

My son is lobbying for a skateboard.  So far he is leveraging having made honor roll and the fact that he is working extra chores to earn the money.  I am running out of reasons other than I'm scared to death for his teeth, his face, for more visits to the place I left only seven hours ago.   May have to start having counter bribes but what would have more allure or coolness than a skateboard for an eleven year old?  And no, I don't want a dog.

5.  Other People Reveal You to You

This week, people have been saying things to me that have really resonated; things that echoed in my brain and struck deeper than the words themselves might have been intended at least as far as the speakers were concerned.  To me, this is the Holy Spirit at work, pushing, pulling, inspiring, encouraging, calling our souls to be ever more what they are supposed to be.   Here's hoping my normally stubborn self pays attention better.

6.  Date Night

We went to see Iron Man II last weekend.  Granted, it's a comic hero movie and one I never read as a kid but it was an enjoyable film and breezy way to spend some time in that other world called adult time.   For those who saw the flaws...it's Iron Man. II.

A rich guy flies around in a metal suit and blows up things and gets beat up and somehow, the metal doesn't knock him unconscious in the process and never gives splinters or cuts him.  One has to suspend one's critical thinking part of the brain to enjoy it to begin with; ergo if you were looking for high brow, Iron Man isn't going to be in the running in the first place.  If you just wanted a fun evening out; it's a good fit. 

7.  When You are Asked to Dance

This week was the School Spring Musical and with a kid in every other act, the youngest three had plenty to clap about as they watched in wonder.  They loved it!  Sitting on the floor in the gym with my son dancing in my lap, my daughter clutching my arm and the third making a new friend and talking rather loudly, I have to say it was a fun time to be a parent. 

At the end, they sang "I've Had the Time of My Life."  Now I've never really liked this song since I was forced to learn how to sign it for a test in college --but seeing my daughter sing the altered lyrics, "I'd Like to Thank My Mom and Dad For All the times in my life you've stood by Me."  I got blinky.  

Then the class came down into the audience and my daughter came to dance with me.  It was brief but ever so awesome. It's what you hope for in the end. 

Withering Heights in the Windy City

I now know why God gave me these nine children.

It was to preserve my life.

This past weekend, my husband surprised me with a trip to Chicago for our 19 year anniversary. My parents agreed to watch the horde. Left to my own devices and without the benefit of a to-do list, I quickly reverted to pre-child form, engaging in such selfish activities as sleep, eating food without sharing and mentally preparing to do any manner of self indulgent recreational activities like museums, shopping and haircuts.

Then the dutiful part of me whispered, “You should do something that is unique to this town. You can shop or eat or get a haircut anywhere.” To which, the veteran mom answered, “Oh yeah? Then why is my hair in a permanent ponytail and my wardrobe consist of tee-shirts my son has outgrown and shoes my daughter no longer fits?”

“You’re overweight.” The nag voice hissed, “So you obviously find time to Eat.” “No, I just don’t find time to exercise.” I smart mouthed back, but the idea of doing something I could do nowhere else lingered.

The Cubs weren’t in town, and I don’t like the White Sox. I didn’t want to go to the pier and be reminded of all the children I have by other people’s kids. So I had to pick something touristy. There was the Sears Tower, the tallest building around that had just opened a Lucite deck where you could walk outside the building and look down. Perfect!

Clearly, outside the protective influence of my children, I harbor destructive impulses. The seven block walk towards the tower, allowed for me to either build up the nerve or have an attack of common sense.

I considered the reality of the Lucite bridge 1,400 feet up above ground with the unforgiving gravity in between. The debate was back on, was it brave to go on the bridge? I mean, it was obviously safe or no one would be allowed on it, but since it was obviously safe, how was it brave to step out on it?

Then I considered the reality, that it would feel brave because my eyes would see the drop, and I would feel afraid. How long did one have to be on the bridge to show bravery? I mean, if you went on the bridge but shut your eyes so as to not be afraid, wouldn’t that defeat the point? Wouldn’t also putting a toe on the bridge for 2 seconds also defeat the point? What in fact was the point?

How would standing there and yelling “Hah!” At Newton’s law of gravity when in fact I was supported by a Lucite deck certified to be safe and having housed countless others, indicate courage when I was in fact doing nothing but standing on a floor outside? I decided all would be made clear by actually doing the act.

I bought the ticket. I took the elevator. We took the tour. The Lucite deck I’d decided to conquer was in the Sears Tower. I had gone to the John Hancock. There was a screened in deck where one could look out and feel the rush of the sky. It was beautiful but absolutely non threatening. What did all of this prove?

God looks after me in my absent minded impulsiveness.

Now I’m going home where it’s much safer.