Over at Catholic Mom.com today and other things...

1)  I've been writing, and my first piece in a while is at Catholicmom.com and called Go Deeper In.   

2) I'm editing.  Slowly.  Grudgingly.  

3) I'm exercising.  Slowly.  Grudingly.   

4) A brief shout out to all of you who hear when others don't, that someone is hurting more than they wish to admit, thank you.  

This morning, a friend felt devastated that her attempt to help someone who voiced a suicidal thought was treated with contempt.   Yesterday, another person I know dealt with a similar issue.  My response to everyone and anyone who responds when someone cries out thinking no one hears them  is, thank you for listening.  Thank you for stopping from all that is ordinary and distracting and keeps life busy and humming along because someone else hurt and you noticed.  

Thank you because those people are still here because you heard and didn't keep going.  
Thank you because you understood the need to stop, that such things couldn't be ignored or brushed aside.  
Thank you because we all know this has been a horrible year, and yet, you still think of others and recognize, sometimes the hardness of life overwhelms.   It need not, and it might not, if we are willing to listen, and to speak when we hear "the cry of the poor."   The people who did the right thing, are still struggling with what they encountered and what they can't share, so I'm telling them, "Thank you." from the bottom of my heart for everyone who doesn't know they need to say thank you, but who does still have that someone to love today, because of what you did.    

5) The move to Patheos is soon.  

6) If you're in the DC Area, tickets just went on sale for this, very psyched about the fall.    

7) Lastly, I hope your Lent is going well.  Mine has involved a lot of backtracking and uturns and restarts and it's near the end of the second week.  Next week's reflection, what makes a "good Lent?"  

Small Success Thursday

Last week, my son turned 21, and I decided, as a gift to my family, I would begin working out again. (Not at a gym mind you), but walking and/or as I call it, wogging --where you jog down hill.  Wogging has resulted in me setting an actual weight goal, which I've already discovered, is going to be a lot of work. 

That being said, every day this week, I've gotten up at 6:30 and gone for a walk/wog.  I've gone from the five pounds past my you shall not pass point, to one pound past my you shall not pass point.  This you shall not pass point is five pounds over what the old you shall not pass point was, so that will be the next goal post.

I've been told my children who run regularly, that 90% of exercise is willing it, willing to do it.  I am lousy with will on this point.  So I started wogging from one mail box to the next, and then to the next...and became irritated, because I'm following the philosophy of Frozen 2, do the next right thing and then the next and then the next with respect to exercise.  The morality isn't wrong, it's just the movie isn't good.

However, it's now day eight, and I've lost four pounds in the first week of committing to this, so I'm reporting it as part of my small success Thursday.  I'm hoping to keep this up, and SST is a good place to state, these are my goals.

These are my goals:  Lose (over the course of a year, 32 pounds).  Get 52 articles published (one a week), finish writing my book, and read a book a week.  These are the ambitions for the year.  They fold into parenting, living, working, learning, and all the ordinary chores that clog up any week --like getting my sons their physicals, getting the car fixed, and registering people for classes and preparing one child for confirmation.  Every week is jammed with lots, and sometimes the lots overwhelms.

Still, I'm blessed beyond blessed during this time of Covid-19, that at the moment, all of us are healthy, and we have each other to play spades and hearts with (trounced them all two nights in a row), to throw water balloons with --there was a full scale war in the back yard today, and to feast with at dinner time.   Hope your week was full of small successes.  If you need me, I'll be out wogging tomorrow.

Today, I'm at Aleteia

The goal for this year was to hit six pieces a month.  Last month fell short, and this month started slow.   However, today, I have a piece over at Aleteia.

I called it, "One Thousand Second Days" but that seems obscure if you don't already know what the piece is about so it's titled, "Seven Spiritual Lessons to Learn With Your Sneakers On.

For those interested, I've been working out with since July 4th, with twelve days where I didn't meet or exceed my step goal.   So of the thirty-five days since I started this thing, I made a solid effort on twenty-three of the days, with my longest streak of strong effort being 13 days long. Now on day 7 of my next string (hopefully) of two weeks of effort. 

P.S. If you share the piece, you can enter in a pilgrimage.  It also helps me so...thanks!

Re-Illusionism

This week, one of the classes I assist worked on essays discussing disillusionment.  We'd read The Great Gatsby, and were debating whether Gatsby's relentless romanticism and hopefulness that Daisy would come, Daisy would call, and he and she would live happily ever after, was a good thing as Nick opines, or a delusion which should have been discarded when she married Tom.  

We'd given examples, "Finding out about the Tooth Fairy or Santa," learning a friend wasn't, or being let down by a classmate, parent, teacher or other person.  We'd discussed the first component necessary in being disillusioned, having trust and hope in something or someone.   So is it a good?  One could not say it was healthy in the case of Gatsby, and several students declared him to be insane to pursue her when he could have anyone and he had everything.  However the funeral reveals the stark reality.  He had everything of matter, and nothing that mattered.  Some of my students lamented the weight of the waste of Gatsby's life and felt mystified he'd have such depth of feeling for someone who seemed so casual in her feelings for everything.

Other students understood Nick's appreciation of Gatsby for his "all in" way of living.  These students wanted that romanticism to be real.  They wanted a "Re-illusioned" world where anything was possible and maybe, maybe if George hadn't shot him, Daisy would recognize what she might lose by not leaving Tom.  

The discussion took place in pieces, punctuated by talk about the fight that took place between two girls that morning.  Oddly, the students didn't recognize the very passions which drove the quarrel between two students, was also the result of two visions of the world.  One world held there is no place that is safe, there is no relationship one should hold as fixed.  The other side thought even if it was a fight, there was a reason, and the fight settled very little, as the passions remained.  

If we have a goal with education, it is to walk the line of growing hope and bolstering the steel in each student to face reality.    We have to do both and, revealing that we cannot know all ends of our actions or the outcomes of all relationships, and yet must act in all things with some degree of anticipation about how things will play out.  The students wrote over and over again of a wanting to not have to be disillusioned.   They want the dream of having someone be that lavishly in love.  They want the dream of being able to somehow build one's self out of nothing.   They want to think, they can one day arrive and have everything. They also presume, when they arrive, the friends at the party will be real.  That's what they want. It's what Gatsby wanted.   No one wanted to think they had to despair to face reality.

All I could think was, me too.  

So I pondered, perhaps it is time to create some story which allows for the re-ordering of our understanding about hopes and dreams.  They aren't an illusion or a delusion, but a means of imagining a reality better than what we face.  They may be a goal.  They may become a reality.  They aren't a guarantee, but they are a catalyst for everyone who ever embraces them, to make the world something other than the disillusioned mess it is now.  

Over at Catholicmom.com Today

I have a piece discussing inviting a Saint to walk with you in the coming year.  This past year, I helped contribute to the Catholic Mom Prayer Companion, a collection of 365 short reflections designed to give the reader a moment to catch her breath and pray.   Because the book is entitled, the Catholic Mom Prayer Companion, I thought it a great idea to have a companion for engaging in the year of prayer.  Hence, I suggested turning to Jen Fulwiller's Saint Generator. 

If you'd like to read the story over at Catholicmom.com, Walk with a Saint, it will explain what a Saint Generator is, and why you might want to give it a try.  It's fun.

As 2016 is winding down, I thought back and realized, I did make some of my goals this year.

1) I lost seven pounds.  I probably gained two back from the past two days of food, but it's still progress.   I also ran in two 5K's.

2) I read 12 books.  (One a month).  Working to make it two a month in the coming year.

3) Wrote 32 pieces that got published somewhere for pay. (A new high).  

4) Got a job.

Have a great time preparing for the new year, I'm going to make my annual overly ambitious list of things I want to do.

What are my goals for 2017?

1) Lose 10 more pounds.

2) Read 24 books.

3) Write 52 pieces that get published for pay.

4) Grow at my job.

5)  Learn a piece of music a month.  (It's to stretch me). 

6) Reconnect more with family and friends.

7)  Redevelop my prayer life.  (The Saint I got through the Saint Generator is planning to help me).

Have a great last day of 2016!

Have a Piece over at Aleteia today!

Goal of 2016?  Write and get a piece published every week if possible, every month if not.  And to finish my book and lose 20 pounds.  If I'm going to try, I'm going to try big.  

Here's to starting off strong:  The Good Shepherd One Pew Up.

Small Success Thursday

Come join us over at Catholicmom.com and share your successes from the past week!

7 Quick Takes

  It's January 3, 2014.  How are those New Year's Resolutions going?

What were they?  Oh Yeah. I'll be posting them monthly as part of keeping me honest.  I figured it's the best way to see that some of them happen. Since some of them are specific, I'm just concentrating on the general ones here.  So it's ten quick takes.  Bonus for you!

1) Get re-certified.  (Looking into the requirements). 

2)  read a book a month.  

I've read a few chapters in the book I got for Christmas. It's a historical look at Life in Ancient Greece.  I'd love it for all the facts and history if the man's bias didn't constantly say, everything was awesome until those awful evil Christians came to power. He just jumps over the persecution and gives the impression that such a response by the state was possibly warranted, after all, look at how they abused their power once they got into position!  It makes me question the validity of the rest of his history, with some of the sweeping statements and omissions he makes.   

3)  pray the rosary if not every day, get through the cycle every week.

  

Did the Glorious, half way through the Luminous.  Working on it.  

4) write daily something.  Sent out a piece and wrote this post today. Check!  

5) Exercise 6 days out of 7.  

I shoveled the snow yesterday and made a Wii U Mii so I could do Wii Fit.  

6) Call my friends.  Locating cell phone, will do after this post. 

7) Play games with my kids.  Yes. And I discovered I stink at video games absent the old controllers. I don't know where B or Z or C are, and keep accidentally changing my character from Aragorn to Gimli. It's not pretty.  

8) Speaking of Pretty:  Get a haircut once every six weeks to keep myself looking polished.  Planning on that for today later once everyone's up and fed.

9) read to my children more.  Started Little House with the two girls. One's interested. One's not. 

10) get to bed on time (by 11:15).  12:15.  It wasn't 12:30.  Baby steps.   

Midterms

There are moments when I'd really appreciate an Interim report on my parenting skills. 

Then I think what my G.P.A. might be and I'm grateful that for all known purposes, there is no public record that can be seized upon in a court of law.  Unless you count this blog. Hmmmm.

I imagine a grid with each child on the left hand side listed separately as though a subject, Music, Spanish, Chemistry, English, Math, Art, PE, Religion, Social Studies and History.  Naturally, I'm better at some subjects than others, and while I'm great on the homework front for several of them, the pop quizzes they keep throwing at me kill my average and sometimes I forget to study or turn in things late.  I've done extra credit on every child, but the value and weight of that extra stuff varies.  In some cases, it may even be sinking my cumulative average.

The end objective in parenting and education is the picture you have in your head, the vision of your child adult, active, engaged in life, emotionally stable, intellectually curious and spiritually grounded in the reality that we are not here for ourselves, and everything we say, do and don't say and don't do, reflects who we are and how much we love.  But often those visions get added onto, with clattery bells and whistles of aspirations whispered, crazy dreams, ambitions that are the result of competitive parenting, pressures from the outside, and even just today I'm feeling peevish and thus persnickety about you in particular goals. 

It's so easy to get sucked into the muck of silliness, where our children become the sum of our aspirations, rather than the product of our love and their labor.  It's my son the doctor lawyer priest varsity football player concert pianist who is trilingual and grows heirloom tomatoes.  It's my artist Senator Olympic medalist Pulitzer prize winning former CEO who travels to far away places to give  important speeches on how to change the world.  Condensing all they are into what they do is the fastest way to kill the joy of raising human beings. 

It isn't all real, it isn't all necessary, but it's a dream scape version of our idealized offspring, fisked clean of all those foibles and flaws that get in the way, like the fact that a child can be a neat freak but not in any functional way, meaning all clothing he wears must be fresh out of the dryer, but he doesn't have to make his bed or shut his drawers. Or how she is a literal brainiac who can produce pages of complex Chemistry and mathematics equations, but fears cooking anything that doesn't come out of a toaster or microwave.  Another kid can remember everything anyone ever said, unless it was in class and about a subject. 

So as I consider child 1, child 2, child 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9 and 10 and the fact that one went to school today with his hair doing a fair imitation of a cockatoo and another wrecked because she had a hot dog for lunch but I was out of ketchup and a third who stayed up late doing homework she should have done over spring break and a fourth bragging about how she studied for the state capital test by using the computer (I worry), and an email about a child freaking over a poster he has to do on Italy which is due tomorrow and which he brought in early but wasn't finished ---because he brought it in early, I'm thinking, okay I don't really need grades. I just need a gut check to make sure I'm not auditing any of these classes.

The Sum of All of It

If I meet a new person and the topic comes up, the moment the number of children we're raising is mentioned, the next question is always, "How do you do that?" 

This past year, I adopted a daily rosary to strengthen my prayer life. Prayer had become a list for God to do that I got to when I needed it, and well, it needed to be that I needed to pray before I had a list for God of things He needed to help me to do. Saying 66 prayers a day! I thought.  How do I do that? 

Around the same time, my younger brother started seriously running, training for a marathon.  Running 26 miles and 385 yards.  And he's made it through at least two that I know about. How do you do that?

And I thought of my other brother who taught himself guitar to the point of being at least in my estimation, magnificent at making that six string sing.   How do you do that?

And my daughter in high school was learning to sew.  She made me an apron. How do you do that?

And my daughter in kindergarten is learning to read. How do you learn that?

And I am writing a book.  How do you do that?

One prayer, one step, one chord, one stitch, one letter, one word, one kid, one moment at a time. 

All of life is what we pour into each moment.  All of our relationships are made up of the kisses, the lectures, the cupcakes, the finding of shoes, the errands, the meals, the clean ups and the games, the bath times and brushed teeth and bedtime stories, all of it, is the sum of all of it.

And all this time I thought I stunk at math.

Small Success Thursday

It's Thursday, time to take stock of the past week.  Man this week ran fast! But first, a request:  a friend I've known for 24 years is undergoing heart surgery today.  She's been through it before, but such a thing is never easy and so I pray for a good outcome and speedy recovery.  It's all I can offer from afar, so I'm asking for your help. 

1) To start, I have two days until the Fall Festival and I'm not yet entirely insane but as I said, I have 48 hours left to go.

2) Wrote a piece for a writing contest called, "The Dress She Picked."  I can't post it because it must be unpublished, but if it doesn't win, you'll see it here. 

3) Worked on Helen --okay, I took notes while waiting in the parking lot when my muse decided to give dictation.  Wasn't happy with her.  I now have to save an envelope full of red scrawl until I can find time to put it in the document.

4) Last weekend, I got to hear a great talk (or part of it anyway), and make a new friend. I also caught up with a few old ones and that was lovely.

5) Got daughter a hair cut before school picture day.

And, I'm adding a feature, a This Week I'll feature.  The object is to set a goal for next week, today. 

This week I'll restart my exercise program for myself.  (I'll let you know if in 7 days, I can get myself started). 

Now it's your turn.  Hope you had a great week and be sure and leave a link!

Quick Takes Friday

1.  Happy Mother's Day

I must call my mom sometimes two and three times a day.  Just because she's in Texas doesn't mean I don't want her imput when I'm on the mental proverbial ledge because kid one after ice cream and going to the park said something awful to kid two in the car who began crying which woke up the baby and made that ten mile distance the longest drive in the world; I also call her when they show up at the beginning of an all school mass at the back where I am with the youngest four and stay to assist with the littles so I can actually recall something of both the Gospel and the homily and I feel broken with joy from blessings.  These sort of things often and oddly enough happen usually on the same day.

Basically, I call because she's my first best friend.  

2.  What I'm Reading

It always feels good to me to have a stack to read. I go through jags where I read the way I eat chocolate, and then I go through periods where opening a book "feels" like a chore.  Right now, it is the later, but I've decided it must be done.  Ergo, The Disorganized Child and The Red Tent are sitting at my bed. We'll see if I feel like Fiction or Non Fiction tonight.  

3.  What I'm Praying

The daily rosary, but I'm behind by a decade of yesterday's.   Prayer too, sometimes is breathlessly easy.  Sometimes, it is very difficult to get through this discipline, but it's always better if I do.   It's like exercise, I'm always shocked how much better I feel if it gets done.  You'ld think by now, I'd know to just do it.

4.  What's Going On

We have a ninja night time freeze tag party coming up with up to 24  fourteen/fifteen year old girls.  Should we discover that it is raining and the outside is not available, pizza and either Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Kung Fu Panda, Spirited Away or some other Ninja but Not Really movie will be shown.  My 18 year old has decided he's going to be busy that night...anywhere else but here.

5.  Faith Report

Followers of this blog know we started treating her for ADD with medication.  So far, things are going pretty well. She made 100 on a science test --without the extensive grilling by an older sibling or me.  This is huge progress.  The material we always knew was going into her creative happy sparkly brain is being accessed.   Yeah! Yeah! and Yeah Again!  I am keeping a daily Faith log for when we go back to the doctors in a month of any changes good and bad that might indicate a need for tweaking this process.

6.  Tomatoes Tomatoes Tomatoes

My bathroom is returning to normal.  There are still 16 or so plants surrounding the tub, but the beans have been planted, as have the carrots and the first six tomatoes.  Last year we didn't get to plant much because of time constraints on my husband with work and the fact that I don't garden well, but this year, it looks good.

7.  Six impossible things before Breakfast

As a mental exercise, I came up with six things that I hope happen sometime in the next few years but would be impossible before breakfast.  It's fun for coming up with goals, and for exercising the brain in imagination.  Writing always takes me to visit my brain which often is thinking of things but not telling me. 

So here are my six seven impossible possibles before breakfast:

1) finish my book
2) start writing another book --I've outlined in my head and just have to do it.
3) go to Greece and put my feet in the Adriatic, and take a boat from there to the island of Rhodes.
4) get in shape by going for walks with my three middle children.
5) Get my Ph.D. maybe in assessment of learning disabilities, as I see that that is a critical area where we do not have enough people who a) are versed with assessment tools and b) able to use them in the educational setting in a way that is affordable to ordinary folks.  
6) See a whale in the wild.
7) Raise all ten to be happy, healthy, holy and educated.

These goals are mostly only impossible before breakfast today.   
       

Raining Rosaries Link and Other things

For those who don't do facebook...
http://catholicmom.com/2010/12/29/raining-rosaries/

I'd fallen out of the habit of posting over at Catholicmom.com --something I hope to rectify in 2011.  

As a challenge to myself and my family, I suggested each of those capable form three resolutions for the new year designed to help improve in the Aristotelian sense, body, mind and spirit.  Meaning, I expected them to set three goals; physical, mental and spiritual.  

For me, I added professional and personal as well.  Here they are:

1) Physical: Get back into shape after Anna Maria Hope is born, meaning decent cholesterol numbers and weight.  

2) Mental: Continue policy of reading a book a month, try to boost to two, and practice piano three times a week.

3) Spiritual: Pray the rosary on a daily basis (natch!), and continue ongoing study of Catechism and learning about patron saint for the coming year; Saint Valentine. (I'll write about that later).  

4) Professional: Finish Helen.  I know, I've written her since 2007, and she's 2/3rds done; with the current delay being that my laptop is getting an extended stay at the Geek Squad owing to a defective hard drive.  Yes I have saved copies but the older computer cannot open modern windows....grrrrr.   Also, did not make goal of getting published once a month, made it 9 out of 12 though.    Will improve stat hopefully and maybe find an agent.

5) Personal: Get birthday cards out on time.  Call brothers and sister and cousin regularly.  Be on time for things.  

Those are my goals for 2011.  

Hooray, It's Thursday

And that means, small success day update:

This week I....

1) hung two doors, one screen and one indoors.  I feel officially like Mrs. Fix-it. 
2) had a bout of nesting in that I cleared out not one, not two, but three dressers of clothing that is out of season or should be out of service or is simply no longer properly fitting.  (Been taking the 1 hour clean and toss one bag o trash and donate one bag of stuff seriously, it's day 3).  
3) came up with a system to prevent myself from being driven crazy by soccer --one kid goes to a friend's house on practice day since he and his sister have practice at the same time at two separate (not close) fields.  
4) forced myself to write anyway even though the muse has been MIA. 
5) Scheduled flu shots for all 9 ...and me.  Husband gets his at work.
6) located the first three books of my to read list.  
7) helped plan the Halloween party for the 3rd grade, it's going to rock. 

Got a success to share, go post it on your blog and brag about it at Family and Faith Live!

Books I Haven't Read but Should

In David Lodge's book, "Changing Places" there is a game wherein the participants admit to not having read something which is considered de rigour.  In this contest of "Humiliations,"  the protagonist eventually confesses in his desire to win the game more than to consider the consequences of his admission (He's a professor at a university), that he has never read "Hamlet." 

As an English major in college, the list of what I haven't read has always exceeded the list I have and the "important" books I've avoided continue to nag like a to-do list that I actually want to do but often forget to get around to in the course of every day life.  That being said, here are ten books/works of literature I hope to get to in the next 12 months and admit I have yet to read:

10) A Tale of Two Cities  While I've read Great Expectations, A Christmas Carol and Our Mutual Friend, this one remains on my haven't got around to it list.

9) The Adventures of Tom Sawyer --I read Huck Finn and Roughing it and Connecticut Yankee but not this one. 

8) The Sound and The Fury. --Actually, I've read this but acknowledge when I did read it, I really really really struggled and didn't get it so I'm going to try again.

7) The Federalist and Anti-Federalist Papers   --never read them.

6)  Some books, you read and they stick. (For me, the Illiad, Henry Fielding's Tom Jones, anything by Pope, Swift, O'Connor).  I read the Great Gatsby, but I was a freshman in college and don't remember squat.   Figured I'm due.

5) James Joyce's Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man --fuzzy memories from high school of this, nothing more.

4) War and Peace --this is why I don't have 12 books with one for each month, I know this will take a bit of doing.

3) Summa Theologica  --was given a glimpse into it back in college but only a glimpse.

2) Jane Eyre --I did drawings for friends for their assignments on this book when I was a sophomore though I never read the book. Must have sketched three red rooms in one lunch period. 

1) Titus Andronicus --why?  Because it's important to remember that even the greatest of writers wrote some major clunkers and so it's reassuring when one is stuck in the throws of writer's block to see that sometimes, not being able to write, might be better than writing something like this...based on what I've heard. 

If you'ld like to play along, link back to this post and list 10-12 books you think you should read but haven't and hope to get to in the next 12 months. --Now, time to hit the books.

Turning 44

Today I'm 44.  Every year I have the good fortune of having my birthday associated with a long weekend or at least a few stray fire crackers.  Every year, I make goals for the coming year.  I don't have a set pattern or number, but this year, I've decided to adopt 44 just for the artistic sense of the thing. Some of them might even happen with a fierce bit of doing.  So here are my birthday wishes for the next 365 days.

44) Exercise every day for 30 minutes doing something!
43) Learn to appreciate wine such that I can have a marginal knowledge of it.
42) Finish learning Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata
41) Make jam. (I don't know how).
40) Read a book a month.
39) Plow through the writing of the rest of Helen.
38) Pray for  my family and friends more.
37) Get the back basement the way it is supposed to be.
36) Paint or draw more often.
35) Call my friends and family on a weekly basis. (I can be pretty spacy).
34) Play with my children instead of getting caught up on everything that doesn't matter.
33) See a Whale in the wild.
32) Visit some new states.
31) Catch a ball at a baseball game.
30) Float down a river.
29) Learn to play the guitar.
28) Become a lecture or Eucharistic Minister at mass.
27) Improve my writing/grammar/technical knowledge of the craft.
26) Lose 20 pounds.
25) Get more involved in community doing something. (Don't know what yet).
24) Publish more.
23) Tour the White House (I've never done it).
22) Go to Politics and Prose (bookstore with live readings, I've always wanted to go).
21) See a concert at Wolftrap.
20) Go to the Sugarloaf Craft festival (I've never been).
19) Be able to sink a ball with my break shot (right now it stinks royally).
18) Date night once every two weeks.
17) Make a habit of weekly adoration.
16) Use the good crystal and good china more often because every day is a special occasion.
15) Become syndicated. (Note to self, begin process of applying for syndication doofus).
14) Dance, sing and laugh more.
13) Take kids tubing --winter.
12) Fish this summer at least until I catch a fish. 
11) Send Birthday cards and gifts out on time.
10) Ride a horse.
9) Learn how to do some basic home repair/decor work.
8) Finish a half marathon.
7) Go to an Opera so I can experience it.
6) Learn to walk on my hands. (Not everything I want to do is meaningful).
5) Learn to write with my left hand.  (Not everything I want to learn is important either).
4) Collect my family's stories (Both sides and as many generational ones as possible).
3) Waste less time and want for less time.
2)  Discipline myself about reading news and politics on the internet and about writing, so that it does not trump the rest of life.
1) Tell everyone I love them more often, and show it daily. 

Now I'm going to blow out my candles and eat some cake.  The exercise bit?  I'm going to go out for a date night tonight and we're going to walk three miles. 
 

Small Success Thursday

1) I got the knob on the car door fixed. (It fell off Sunday and was lost such that one could not open the most convenient means of vacating the van which meant loading and unloading 9 children plus their equipment/backpacks/stuff was a joyless experience at best).

2) Last night, I worked on Helen. The first four chapters, I'm very proud of and just emailed to my sister to read.

3) We got our Halloween costumes for everyone from age 16 to 1 and it isn't October 31st yet.

How to Party when You're Grown Up

For some reason, adults always downplay their own milestone markers. Recently, I heard two friends talk of having dull birthdays. These adults are the same people that hire ponies, cater bar-b-que, and hold an all day fiesta when their children turn two. The result is that birthdays become a marker of aging, rather than a time of celebration. To help all of those in the parenting stage of life, acknowledge the anniversary of their birth about gaining another year, but not being old, I present the following tips.

1) Invite Friends. Whole Families, extended family, neighbors and their friends, their dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters. It’s your birthday darn it, and people should first, know about it and second, properly celebrate it.
The best way to do this is to send invites or e-vites, it allows you to publicize the event without seeming immodest.

2) Think Fun. I know those fun muscles are out of practice, they probably have stretch marks. But exercise routines start with the first day you decide to exceed the normal 2.6 miles most people trod in a day, and well, you don’t want something like this to happen to you.

When I turned 30, I was handed three lovely presents by my husband, an unwrapped autographed book by Bill Bradley and a CD of Dennis Miller Rants, plus some very good chocolate. He kissed me and said, “Happy Birthday.”

I swallowed hard and managed a feeble “Thanks.” I really did like the gifts but felt uncelebrated. He looked at my face and said, “You’re sad.” I shot back, “I’m thirty years old. It’s my birthday. I’m NOT SAD.” He looked at my eyes. “You are sad.” My lip quivered. “I AM SAAAD.” And man did I bawl.

Fortunately, my beloved husband took charge and we went to Gettysburg and toured Picket’s Charge on my birthday, and then to Williamsburg for a day at Busch Gardens where he and I took turns going on roller coasters and watching our then two children. My daughter, then two months old, let me sleep through the night. It was a celebration bonanza.

Of course that meant I had to come up with something just as funtastical for his Big 3-0, so I invited all of his guy friends from college and high school and law school to our home for the weekend.

We saw Star Trek First Contact –remember back when Star Trek was good? Almost me neither. We ate steaks and I made Tres Leches –a gloriously bad for you cake that requires more cholesterol than found in an entire five buckets of KFC. It’s made with at least a dozen eggs and a can of sweetened condensed milk. I’ll email the recipe if you ask.

We played flag football and went to Dave and Busters in the evening. I’d arranged for sitters to allow us all to go play for the evening. I even was a good wingman to a friend of ours who was and is an actual pilot in the Air Force. Who knew I could be a wingman?

The point of all this is plan. Have a plan and execute the plan, but most importantly, plan to have a blast.

3) Laser Tag, Dinner at a restaurant you’ve been dying to try or even one that sings those hokey songs and makes you wear a Sombrero are great. Bar-b-cue in the back yard, A baseball game, go-carts, a concert, bowling, poker night, a day at the pool, the park or the beach, a snowball fight, a water gun fight with your kids, tickets to a show, flag football at the park, the possibilities are endless.

4) If you like to or would like to try, play video games, let your kids teach you. New skills make the mind agile and feel young. You can’t really feel old when you’ve just schooled your teenage son in wii golf. It’s not possible. Gloating is permitted and even in some families, considered an art form. Who’s your Mamma?
Note to self: work on end zone routine.

5) Wear a new outfit. Most of us moms get a new outfit for the birthday kid so they’ll look spiffy for the pictures. Do the same for yourself, whether it’s a haircut, a manicure or even just a new pair of shoes. Spruce yourself up so you look good, you’ll feel good.

6) Reality like sick kids, work schedules and unavoidable activities sometimes crowd a birthday. This is why our family celebrates Birthday Month. Why limit the fun to just one day? This does mean that seven months out of the year, not counting actual scheduled holidays, we're celebrating. Want some cake? Odds are in your favor in the spring if you come over.

7) Go to Mass. If possible, receive the sacrament of reconciliation so you can start your next year with a fresh spirit. Okay, this last one is only completely doable if you’re Catholic.

8) Feast well. Calories on Birthdays are 100%allowed. Chocolate Cake all day? Why yes thank you. I believe I will….

9) Write down three things you hope to accomplish next year and put them in a birthday jar. Have each of your family do this as well, and on you next birthday, see if you did them.

10) Schedule a Health Check up and a Dental appointment. Why? Because the year will go better if you know you’re taking care of you.

11) Go to the Bookstore or Library, pick out a book you’ve been meaning to read. Start the first chapter.

12) Take a picture of all those you love. Don’t forget to include yourself, even if you hate how you look in pictures. Try to remember all of the birthdays past that you can, going backwards, or your favorites. Don’t forget to call your siblings and your parents and other family members not present to get their memories of those same events.

13) Hog the remote.

14) Start a diary. Leave it by your bed. You’ll be amazed next year.

15) Take a long hot bath

16) Open your presents…hint to family, wrap them.

17) Plan a trip for the following year somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.

18) Take up an instrument/art/craft you’ve never done before and always admired or wished you knew…who knows what will happen. Practice and failure and surprise success are all good for the soul.

19) Blow out the candles. All of them. Give everyone a big slice with extra frosting.

20) Give Thanks to God.