Okay, sometimes I just need to stretch the silly muscles a bit...maybe I got carried away...
assignment in writing workshop online --create a commercial or a personal ad. I sort of merged them...
Tired of worn out, ignorant beer bellied dope smoking losers? Looking for Mr. Big Right Rich Perfect Goodbar for You? Thinking of giving up those speed dating questionnaire selected "perfect someone" match experiences at lunch because the best you've seen is a retread whose idea of a fun Friday night is beating a bunch of 12 year olds at the local comic book store in a game of Dungeons and Dragons, followed by an all night viewing of Star Wars I, II and III in order with Klingon subtitles (wrote his own program for all his DVD’s) and the director's commentary?
Then here is the guy for you.
He Slices, he dices, he rolls on his belly like a reptile kind of like a Ginsu Knife if a piece of cutlery could engage in vaguely sexual physical acts! If you long to experience that once in a life time type of life long love, the kind that makes you drop million dollar pieces of jewelry into the ocean, fly across the country to meet a total stranger in a tall building now screened heavily by homeland security, phone now!
Yes, this is the man that will inspire you to talk to yourself on moonlit nights on balconies and drink poison if you think he is dead, and enjoy spaghetti and meatballs as mandolins and accordions play in the background, accompanied by male Sicilian voices. This man will so inflame your imagination that you will feel compelled to name all 26 kids, fifteen dogs, forty seven gold fish and your bible after him.
Due to unprecedented demand, this is a limited time offer so don't delay! Call now and get a special additional bonus flyer on time shares! But wait there's more, if you act now we have additional bonus items, help with your Soduku puzzles when the newspaper makes them medium or hard, passes to the local spa for electrolysis and a whitening coupon for that movie star smile you've always wanted and a special radish rose peeler and combination garlic grater, for elegant garnishes at that next neighborhood block party.
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Showing posts with label Soduku. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soduku. Show all posts
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Waiting for Mensa to Call...
This year I got a page a day calendar, and it’s put out by Mensa. Imagine the joy of getting up each day to a pop quiz. What fun.
Whee.
The first three days however, I gave it a shot and you know what? I did it.
What a rush.
The first day I solved the problem, I felt like “Hello, I’m Super Mom and me and my magnificent brain thingy are going to solve all your problems. Ask me how to go from COAST to SLIDE in seven steps, changing only one letter each time and each time making a word. Go on…Ask!”
No one asked.
The second day, I solved the math pattern problem and got the answer right but the method wrong. Close enough I thought. I GOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. Sherry G. Antonetti…supra genius. I like the way that rolls out….Sherry G. Antonetti….supra genius.
Reality hit back hard when the toddlers found the left over Christmas wrapping paper and unrolled it to get the cardboard tubes. Hey Genius the mess seemed to mock, how to you clean this up?
On the third day, it was a Tom Swifty and though I unscrambled all the words correctly, when it came to phrasing, I got it wrong. Being a Supra Genius, I said, “Who cares?” And then to prove the point, I wondered, “Why do Tom Swifties exist at all?”
The next two days were the weekend and I didn’t get to the calendar. Come Monday, it was a word problem. I hate word problems. I got it wrong. I tried to justify my answer. It was still wrong. Still, my record was 3-1-1 so I was shaken but not out of the genius running.
Yesterday. A pattern question. I spent all day puzzling over this one. All stinking day. When I finally checked my answer and got it wrong, I declared it a cheat test of my intelligence if they don’t give all the rules. When my husband looked at the puzzle and remarked “That’s tough.” I casually let slip, “Oh, it’s every letter that is made of only straight lines.” I had my reputation to maintain.
It has become an epic battle just to know what day of the week it is. I dread being given yet another chance to prove my ignorance on a daily basis, but I go back to it, just as surely as I do the super hard Sudoku. Today's puzzle, a letter problem.
"Place the same three-letter word in each blank below to make three different words."
_ _ _ ANT
_ _ _ DON
_ _ _ URE
Maybe there's a B-Team for Mensa.
By the way, the answer, (I looked on the back), is TEN --Get it, today's the tenth. The Supra Geniuses of the world are sniggering at my piddly intellect.
Whee.
The first three days however, I gave it a shot and you know what? I did it.
What a rush.
The first day I solved the problem, I felt like “Hello, I’m Super Mom and me and my magnificent brain thingy are going to solve all your problems. Ask me how to go from COAST to SLIDE in seven steps, changing only one letter each time and each time making a word. Go on…Ask!”
No one asked.
The second day, I solved the math pattern problem and got the answer right but the method wrong. Close enough I thought. I GOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. Sherry G. Antonetti…supra genius. I like the way that rolls out….Sherry G. Antonetti….supra genius.
Reality hit back hard when the toddlers found the left over Christmas wrapping paper and unrolled it to get the cardboard tubes. Hey Genius the mess seemed to mock, how to you clean this up?
On the third day, it was a Tom Swifty and though I unscrambled all the words correctly, when it came to phrasing, I got it wrong. Being a Supra Genius, I said, “Who cares?” And then to prove the point, I wondered, “Why do Tom Swifties exist at all?”
The next two days were the weekend and I didn’t get to the calendar. Come Monday, it was a word problem. I hate word problems. I got it wrong. I tried to justify my answer. It was still wrong. Still, my record was 3-1-1 so I was shaken but not out of the genius running.
Yesterday. A pattern question. I spent all day puzzling over this one. All stinking day. When I finally checked my answer and got it wrong, I declared it a cheat test of my intelligence if they don’t give all the rules. When my husband looked at the puzzle and remarked “That’s tough.” I casually let slip, “Oh, it’s every letter that is made of only straight lines.” I had my reputation to maintain.
It has become an epic battle just to know what day of the week it is. I dread being given yet another chance to prove my ignorance on a daily basis, but I go back to it, just as surely as I do the super hard Sudoku. Today's puzzle, a letter problem.
"Place the same three-letter word in each blank below to make three different words."
_ _ _ ANT
_ _ _ DON
_ _ _ URE
Maybe there's a B-Team for Mensa.
By the way, the answer, (I looked on the back), is TEN --Get it, today's the tenth. The Supra Geniuses of the world are sniggering at my piddly intellect.
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