The Impact of A Super Immodest Proposal

After watching a few minutes of this year's Superbowl Halftime Show, I've come to understand why the Victoria's Secret Super Model Half Time Show cancelled.

It was simply not lude or crude or provocative enough.

Reporters at "Chocolate For Your Brain!" Research Division tracked down former models of the once scandalous scantily clad entertainment show.  They agreed to discuss their concerns provided we didn't reveal their identities.

"When the show got canceled, I read all the reasoning and thought, maybe they're right. I should have some standards."  She sobbed over the phone. "Then I saw the show at this year's Superbowl and wondered why anyone ever objected to our strutting down a cat walk.  At least you knew before you turned on the television channel, you were choosing to watch women in lingerie. No one thought that kids should watch our show.  We weren't advertising someone who stared in Zootopia as a headliner."

Another former bikini model explained, "When the "Me too" movement took full force, I decided it was time for "me too," to take back my dignity. I thought perhaps now, it would be different.  We stopped because we didn't want to be exposed or exploited."  She added wryly, "Not sure there's much left to expose or exploit."

But it wasn't just those from the half-time show who felt the impact.
Via email, several former models from the Playboy talked about how they now understood how uncomfortable their shows made others.

"There's always a new level of ick or low." one wrote, "and whenever we lower the bar and increase the ick, the next generation has to scrape lower to make an impact. But, whenever anyone objects, everyone else views the objecter as essentially clutching at her pearls because someone flashed an ankle." 

In related news, Paul Rubens announced he's hired a lawyer to get his record expunged and his kid show reinstated.  "Public indecency?  Please. I wasn't trying to be on camera."  he scoffed.

ABC executives don't think he has a case though. Lawyers for the network explained, citing the highest value with respect to sex held in the nation."Everyone who watched the Superbowl, by not changing the channel, consented. They waived their rights to not see everything when they turned on the television.   Besides, what haven't people seen these days?  I mean, the President said to grab 'em by...so it's empowering for women to do it themselves. I think, it's the beginning of a new age, where people can express themselves howsoever they want.  Remember, the key rule to good society is, don't judge."

Word must have traveled fast, as the following leads showed up on Chocolate For Your Brain's Newtips wire.

Jeffery Epstein came back from the dead and said, "I'm just an outlier today.  Tomorrow, I'll be the trend setter."

Hooters announced it's creating a kid menu and a happy meal, complete with a pole dancing Barbie knock off.

Finally, Anciet Greek Gods Bacchus and Pan announced plans for a reinstitution of their rites of Spring.  "We're calling it the Pagan Bachanalia Comeback Tour! There will be everything! Can't wait. We're even using Shakira's song "Try Everything," you know, from Zootopia? As the motto."

Word has it, they reached out to see if the execs for Superbowl LV were interested.  Off the record, the executives assisstant shook her head, "It's been done.  We're looking for someone who can really push the envelope." 

Reporters for Chocolate for Your Brain stopped investigating and went to buy stock in Eye Bleach.