Friday, March 20, 2015
PIR --a Public Service Announcement
Like Easter and Leap Year, PIR is a floating holiday, though it occurs far more often than anyone would care to admit. Pain in the Rear day embraces the always suspected but seldom voiced truth, the universe is out to get you personally.
We've all been there, when the one piece of paper we can't lose, is the only one we can't find. There are homework assignments dating back to 1998 in this house, but the stub from my daughter's student loan for college? The one I need for our tax returns? MIA. Gone. Sucked down into a black hole or the vacuum cleaner because I didn't pick up everything first and was feeling lazy just for a moment when I cleaned the floor. I know, I will never find it until after April 15th.
Pain in the Rear day is also known in some other less polite circles as PIA, but I have a friend with that name so I don't want the association, Most people know PIR, now that it has been identified, but for those ignorant few, some examples: The parking spot doesn't quite fit your car, but you squeeze in anyway like a pair of skinny jeans, and now can't quite open the doors or can but you can't get out yourself? That's PIR right there. FInding the box of Triscuits with three crackers left in the box? PIR. Or teenagers. One could safely claim, having teenagers ensures the holiday shows up more frequently.
This morning is the first day of Spring, and there is snow on the ground, pain in the rear freshly fallen slushy get your shoes good and wet walking your kids to the bus stop snow. One could argue, that's not PIR, that's just weather. Except having your six year old fall in the snow and get soaked such that you have to run him and his younger sister back up to the house, get a complete change of clothing just as the bus is coming into view puts it in the "Pain" category.
"In" comes from being able to find only one of his other pair of sneakers and having to negotiate getting him to wear snow boots. The "the" is ignored because everyone knows, the "Rear" part is the kicker. You can't just have inconvenience. Bad luck and Murphy's law happen to everyone. We get back outside, we're running down the hill to get him there. We make it. We're thinking, okay...not so bad. Not so bad. Until my daughter says she needs to go potty...so I scoop her up to run back up the hill, she says, "I can't hold it" and...but I keep going and as we near the door, I slip in the snow, and now all of us need a change of outfits.
The proper way to celebrate PIR is to give back, to not keep this holiday to yourself. Shared suffering of the knowledge, the universe does't like you, so don't like it back, is good for the soul. This afternoon, I'm making chocolate chip cookies for the snack. I know what you're thinking, that's pleasant, that's not PIR for anyone. Ah, but it is. There will be hot chocolate chip cookies...but we are out of milk.
Happy PIR everyone.
Click Here to Join