Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Warning! May Break the Internet*

Hello Facebook Friends, Twitter Followers, Blog feeders and Internet lurkers, friends, family, friends of family, friends of friends and total strangers who for some reason, I've friended.   This post is vital to the continuing of the universe.  That's right, failure to like this post may in fact damage the sole purpose of the internet, namely to send repetitive chainmail memes about cheeseburgers, cats and politics using Willy Wonka, because snark=argument won. 

If you fail to like my note or share it or comment, it will prove beyond anything you've done, said, not done or not said,  not that you are not a true lover of America, puppies, hamburgers, baseball, politics, apple pie, silly love songs and Jesus, but rather, that you are either a big meanie or a sensible human being who has better things to do with his/her time.  

Except the internet doesn't do nuance.  So while you may have a whole host of legitimate reasons for ignoring this post, your non-affirming of my blathering prose will vindicate a snapshot opinion that you are either ashamed to not click like, or can be shamed into liking something you don't care one wit about.

However, if you like my post, if you tweet it, make it viral, make it spread to the ends of the Earth like earworm song that every radio plays at least twice an hour, it will prove you love me, you really love me love me, and while absolutely nothing will happen to you good or bad as  result of liking or not liking, reading or ignoring this post, you can consider yourself a special little snowflake in the center of the internet universe by me because you forwarded this singular creative unique post, sharing with others, the joy you found in reading these words here.

This concludes your irony supplement for the week.  Have a great day.
*Sometimes, I just have to stop and get the satire out of my system. 

1 comment:

LarryD said...

I just might plurk this.

Leaving a comment is a form of free tipping. But this lets me purchase diet coke and chocolate.

If you sneak my work, No Chocolate for You!