Things that Scare Mom

We've been watching Dr. Who lately and I admit, the weeping angels are pretty darn creepy.  However nothing compares with the following list of truly frightening things that make me break out in a cold sweat, things that make Moms wake shivering in sheer terror, things that make a grown woman cry and think of running away. 

10) Scarier than a chainsaw in the middle of a dark forest when you've gotten yourself lost is the phone call at 10 a.m.  "Mommmmmm....I forgot my homework. It's on the kitchen table and the teacher said she'd give me full credit if I got it to her today before the end of school. She leaves exactly at 2:45 so you'll have to come early if I'm to get it." 

9) Slightly less unnerving, more akin to the startle you get when the Horror film fakes you out with a friend knocking urgently at the door while the creepy music heats up, is the conversation on the ride home, usually just after the last convenient turn around point, "Mommmmm?  I don't have the right book for my assignment."  Either you turn around the car or you are the worst mother ever and the kid gets a bad grade. There is no win in this scenario. 

8)  "That's  MY SOCK!"  or any sentence that includes the word MY and an article of clothing during the rush of the morning, it means 1) a fight will ensue 2) at least one child is missing said article of clothing or this would not have been noticed and 3) probably both.  Bonus: The dryer probably has the missing item. It's also probably still wet. 

7)  From the Kitchen of the Damned if you do...the terrifying I don't like (insert whatever I've fixed for lunch or breakfast here).

6) Sequel, from the Kitchen of the Damned if you Don't, "There's nothing to eat!" that doesn't involve cooking and doing dishes.

5) Night of the Living Bed: Child zombies never stay down.  You get them water. You tell them good night. You turn off the lights.  And after 9, you still can hear them out there, whispering, searching for a way to get up and come down stairs.

4) The Mummy and the curse of the Tired.  They won't go to bed. You can't go to bed.  You go to bed and get awakened by the things that won't sleep, which means you won't sleep, but in the morning, they rest and you have the others who slept through the night to deal with.  They expect you to put your game face on and get going.  All I know is I'm not sure I should be operating heavy machinery. 

3) The Required:  It doesn't matter who it is or when it is due or why, there is always some impossible to locate object or material that a kid can't do without, which necessitates a separate sojourn by the mother to locate said required thing. If you don't find it, the kid flunks. If you do find it, someone else will have been unable to and have found a much better cheaper soon to be the permanent alternative replacement that shall now be The Required. 

2) Lost Notes:  In the instant communication age we live in, not having read the email means being in a permanent fog, as you never have a chance to go back and peruse the material. Who reads last week's emails? As a result, lost emails means intellectual oblivion with respect to whatever is going on, and that means, you probably will miss the key thing you shouldn't miss and the required material for the key thing you shouldn't miss. 

1) The lost shoe....just one shoe....the horror.  Give me a weeping angel any day.