Sometimes serious, sometimes funny, always trying to be warmth and light, focuses on parenting, and the unique struggles of raising a large Catholic family in the modern age. Updates on Sunday, Tuesday and Friday...and sometimes more!
I broke down and bought a fit bit which tracks my every move or lack thereof. As technology goes, it is the equivalent of volunteering to have a nag strapped to my wrist. It vibrates when I've not moved enough in the past hour. It gives me progress reports that are the equivalent of "Sherry daydreams in class and isn't serious about this pursuit."
Honestly, if the makers really wanted to help me lose weight, they'd have the thing give me an electric shock when I reached for the refrigerator or put chocolate in my mouth. However, given my will to eat, I might endure the pain for the gain.
The forbearance of this machine is remarkable. I know, if I had to be my fitness coach, I'd have lost patience long ago and have sent out a message on twitter, linkedin, Instagram, Facebook, snapchat and my blog, "This woman is a human marshmallow. She is hopeless."
I prefer to subscribe to the belief, having my seat in a seat proves I'm at the computer working. Pulling down an article a day whether it gets published or not, the goal remains to consistently write one thousand words a day. Instead of charting 10,000 steps which aren't to actually go anywhere, my priorities rest squarely with the chocolate bar, diet coke and the keyboard, trying to write a book and articles along the way.
In an effort to make something positive out of the situation, I propose a new technological gadget for the writing world.
The Writ Bit.
Here me out.
The Writ Bit would track your word count per day. It would give you helpful stickers, "Congratulations, Let's try for a higher word count, maybe spend less time hanging out on Facebook and more time typing shall we?" or "Wow! You earned the Ink Stained Wretch award." or the..."Put your rump on the stump and start writing or I'll give you a friendly taser zap."
There would be bonus levels for strenuous writing as versus ordinary, based on grammar, word choice and limited use of adverbs.
It would scrutinize your output for cliches and poor structure. It would also have an editor function to nag you about theme, authenticity, and the demand the words somehow open a vein.
My only issue would be for those moments when I'm distracted by the demands of my fitbit, since it would be at odds with the Witbit...and whether getting in some BIC time or logging my 20 minutes of cardio, I'd be getting a shock to the system from the dueling wrist bands.
Maybe I'll abandon both pieces of technology in favor of the chocolate bar...because whatever else it does to my body, it doesn't nag me whether or not I eat it, and it never tases me bro.
She will be released back into the wild. Using this painless key monitor bracelet, we will track her movement.
It is estimated that the normal mature human female is supposed to go about 10,000 steps per day.
Based on initial readings, we aren't tracking a human female at all, but a sloth.
That's right. I've joined the Borg collective. I will be weighed, measured, and found wanting to move more than I do.
Hopefully, in 8 weeks, I will be weighed, measured, and found to have approximated something in the animal kingdom less stationary.
I bought a fitbit.
Will this be the break through help I need, or will this like the treadmill that became a valet for the dry cleaning, the gym membership, the pedometers, the Billy Blanks cross fit videos, Atkins, Southbeach diets and the boot camp before it, become just one more example of the sisyphean struggle to lose more than my birth weight by my birthday?
Given that I weighed 2 lbs and 11 ounces at birth, it's not like the bar isn't already set really really really low.
Maybe if they put a chocolate bar at the end of that string...
