Monday, January 11, 2016

Stupid Addict Anonymous

I have discovered something about myself.

I have a stupid addiction.  

It's not I'm addicted to stupid, it's what I'm addicted to, is stupid.  

Most of the time, I have it under control.  I just don't go into stores that sell the stuff.  

But yesterday, neither printer would work and my daughter needed to print up her paper asap.  

So I found myself at the store formerly known as Kinkos.

That's right, office supplies and motivational books, these are a strange Achilles' heel to my liberal arts brain.  

I see audio books, "Organize your life..." and I'm thinking,  I could use that.   I see a large swath of pens, and I know I need that...and the motivate others book.  Maybe it could that help with getting the kids to do their chores?  I need a planner...post-its, and we need a stapler...before you know it, a simple printing job has turned into a crazed shopping spree.  

Within minutes of leaving the store, I suffer buyer's remorse, especially when the promising Motivate others CD sounds so 70's psy-pop in its language and thinking, I wonder if it was put out by K-tel records and just digitally remastered.   Half way through the Organize your life stuff, I'm bored to tears.   The planner, it's good, not great, but it will take time to become familiar.  The kids have already raided my purse and all the pens are gone.  

But I look at that cheesy motivational cd and it's time to face this stupid demon. 

I resolve, I will not, will not, will not, buy any more office materials or business literature.  Not a USB, not any liquid paper or a ream of printer paper or ink, nothing.    I write down my new promise to myself in the planner, feeling grown up, proud of myself,  free.

My son comes over, "Mommm.   The printer still won't work and I need this paper tomorrow." 

We must go...my mind is already drifting down the aisles of the store, I look at my motivational how to get people do do things book.   "Give directions and simple commands."

"I'll take you to the store if you take care of the dishes first."  
To my surprise, he agrees.  
I still have to keep my promise. Maybe I'll just let him go into the store, and I'll stay in the car.  

While he's in there getting it printed, I'm reconsidering my resolution.  
Why?

He did the dishes.  The motivational book worked.   Maybe there's more in there that might help me to get them finish their homework or do the laundry.   My optimism returns and it occurs to me, it's not that the addiction is stupid, it's that the addiction itself, makes me stupid.  

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