Thursday, October 24, 2013

What NSA Heard When Listening in on 35 Leaders

It has come to light via leaks from Snowden's data dump that the current NSA eavesdropped on 35 of the world's leaders including those of Germany, France, Brazil and cryptically "elsewhere." Naturally, no one confirms or denies what was heard or not heard.  However, reliable sources at unnamed places determined that the following quotes might have taken place when nothing that concerns any of us happened.   It's comforting to know the rich, powerful and authoritative aren't so different than us, but that may be the result of poor reception and translation. 

10)  "So, do you think the Weeping Angels were modeled after the woman at the end of the season cliff hanger with the Master who has her hands over her eyes?  Do you think she is the Doctor's mother?" 

9) Can you get me tickets to World Youth Day?  I wasn't going to go but since the Pope is now from South America, it seems like a bigger deal. 

8) "And I told them, it would be ready for roll out October 1st." 

7) "Can you hear me now?" 

6) "What do you get for a future King of England?"

5) "You know, I probably wouldn't be as disappointed in the Hobbit if I hadn't seen the Lord of the Rings 5,279,246,883 times before."

4) "I bought stock in the Fisker Karma, Solyndra and now, CGI...Think it's the next big thing."

3) "I'm sure the USATopia will be fully operational six months from now, with zero unemployment, emission free flying cars, free four bedroom houses with picket fences for everyone and daily allotments of fruits, vegetables, beer, chocolate, and bad television."

2) "Which addictive long term television series should I watch next? Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones?"

1) "In case NSA is listening, we now have drones too.  See you in 5...4...3...2..."

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