The World According to Sherry

Today is my birthday. At 43, I’ve decided one paltry wish doesn’t cut it, so I’ve created ten; one for each decade I’ve been semi-aware of my own being on this planet. (I don’t count those three years of supremely awkward adolescence which I’ve blocked out of my permanent long term memory for strictly medicinal reasons).

I wish:

10) That celebrities would not be eulogized for virtues they did not have, nor worshiped in life or death by fans in lieu of finding actual purpose and meaning for suffering and death, or actual people who embody sweetness and light.

9) That politicians would stop embarrassing themselves by never being silent when silence would serve them best, and stop thinking that money and power exonerate them from acting like decent human beings, even towards members of the other party or (gasp) their spouses.

8) That the media would try for one day to cease and desist from

a) espousing hate for anyone who didn't agree 100% with Obama and the Democrats on all things and

b) cease praising every sneeze, look or action taken by Obama and the Democrats. But then, if they did this, and #9 and #10, they'd probably only be left with discussing Texas bar-b-que, recipes for Chocolate Cake and the weather for the upcoming fireworks on the 4th of July.

and for equal measure that those who only find fault would also at least practice the art of backing up all criticism with facts and parallels to illustrate their points. See Helen Thomas if you are looking for tips.

7) That people spend less time online or watching television, and more time reading a good book in the shade of a tall tree while drinking a favorite beverage or eating a fresh peach. Although, if the TV was doing a big bit about bar-b-que, chocolate cake and fireworks, I'd probably be more interested in watching.

6) That people who are fretting about this country going to hell and the people who think we're already there, would find the little bit of the world that they call heaven and breathe in the air there to remember, it isn’t all bad. (And if you have some bar-b-que and chocolate cake, I bet this is easier to remember).

5) That the government would remember it's our money. That we would remember, it is only money.

4) People who asked for advice would actually follow it. (Meaning, enjoy the cake and the bar-b-que and don't start talking about calories or what have you, just eat it and smile).

3) All "reality television" would be banned as destructive to the souls producing, providing, staring and watching it. (Jon and Kate Plus 8 dig). The WashPo did a piece over the weekend on how it was the number of kids, i.e. if only the insurance had covered a more expensive form of IVF, that did in the marriage. Yeah. That was it, the number. It wasn't the 24-7 pseudo transparency of a television "reality" show as opposed to a commitment to each other and genuine intimacy. It was the number of kids because of the type of insurance...yeah, it got under my skin.

2) I’d remember everything I'm supposed to do today.

1) I'd actually do whatever it is.

And we'd have some Texas Bar-b-que and chocolate cake and ice cream for the day after spending a good three hours under a tall tree drinking a diet coke and finishing a good book. Then we'd go swimming and finish it all off with fireworks. So there it is, the pre-planned wish for July 3rd.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your grills.
Enjoy the day. I'm now going to sit under a tree and read my book until someone brings me cake.

My Grown Up Christmas List

There's this song, it's kind of syrupy and so I haven't decided if I like it or not, "My Grown Up Christmas List." The cynic in me goes bleah. The true believer that knows our own hearts yearn for a reality that is more real and more loving and more authentic than the one we have, concedes that the words still move. So I am at odds with myself whenever this song comes on the Radio during Christmastime. So here's my wish list two and a half months after December 25th. I'll be sending out Christmas Cards on Saint Patrick's Day. Last year, it was Feb 2nd when they got mailed. Look for a card tax day in 2010.

That having been said, as I was cleaning the kitchen with my shop-vac this morning, I sighed that the attatchment that would make this job much swifter has been lost to the toy bins of the ages, all because once, I assigned vacumning to my daughter and she took offense. In retaliation for being required to sully her hands with a mere domestic chore, she promptly lost one of the attachments. Then, the next time, another, and as such, I have the machine and the hose and the three tubes, and the holder for the attachments, but no extras. I've searched. I've had her search. She doesn't remember.

So I'd like to have a new sucking attachment to my vacumn. I'd also like some backs for all my matching GOOD earings, but since that requires that I take said earings to a jewelry store, they sit unworn in my dresser. I'd like the other pink velcro easy for her to put on shoe that fits my daughter to reappear and I'd like to walk into my basement and not need to steel myself before I do it.

While I'm wishing, someone would put two wire shelves in the back basement and help me reorder the memory boxes that were in great shape until the existing shelving gave out, causing six plastic bins of sorted photos to crash and scatter. They'd also take away the tile table top in the back basement. Someone would fix the light in our bathroom that I can't reach with a step ladder and which seems stuck such that both adults in the house are afraid to mess with it. I'm tired of sitting in darkness. It's been more than a year.

My grown up Christmas list does not warm hearts or demand a lot of money, but it would sure be nice not to have a fully working bathroom at night. Both the cynic and the true believer would rejoice. Talk about peace on earth.