Over at Aleteia Today

Hope you're having a happy 4th of July. 

Date nights are like little Sundays, retreats for your marriage. Schedule a date with your spouse this week, and the next. You won't be sorry.

Years of Sundays

If you write long enough, it becomes harder to scrape out a column, as you feel you've already said everything you wanted to say.  Sure, there are thousands of stories in any given 24 hours, but many of them echo what happened before and thus do not haunt the brain and demand to be written the way they once did when it was the first time one thought of telling such a tale.   However, the desire to carve out something new from the every day persists.  

Today is Sunday. It's September 4th, Saint Mother Teresa has been proclaimed, and we had our traditional bacon and bagels after mass as a family.  We honor Sunday by not demanding too much of anyone if we can avoid it.  Sure, there is homework and laundry, dishes and groceries, but much of the day is marked by a stillness, if not of body, of spirit.  We all come to the table, we say grace, and Paul makes sure everyone is there.  If someone hasn't made it to the table, he will get up and lead them.   It is a ritual, and it is a source of joy, we start a new week.  We call the older children if we can, so that everyone gets a "Hello" and "What's going on this week?" before the grind of the week itself starts.  

Today we will make brisket and watch Notre Dame play Texas.  I will finish up the last of the paper work from the first week of school and try to keep up the mental promise to 1) keep blogging, 2) write a column a week for publication, and continue work on the two book projects I thought I'd have more time for when Fall hit.  

There is never more time than we have in the day we are in, and that's the real key I think, to writing, to exercise, to prayer, to paper work, to all of it.  Making today a good day, requires I not so much not fritter the minutes, but spend the time well.  It is okay to sit and watch a movie with your almost eight year old son because he loves it, it's also okay to doze during half of it because you have seen it so often, but still get the high five when it ends for being there.   We live in a busy age, when every minute can be plugged in, tweeted, monitored and measured, so I hope when they all grow up, what they remember are the moments like my 17 year old playing chase with the five year old, and the two of them making fifteen cats out of duplos for her cat shop.  I hope the 14 year old remembers taking a break from her AP homework to practice guitar and make the rub for the bbq.   I hope the twelve year old remembers playing chess and sometimes losing to his mom and the girls recall cranking the tunes while we did the dishes.   I'll also hope the Irish win tonight and don't look bad doing it.

What I really hope is they remember, every day is great in the details, even if the plans aren't always fleshed out. I hope they remember childhood as years of Sundays.  

Toasting Today's Sunday Funnies

My children seldom concern themselves with what day of the week it is unless there is a birthday, vacation or field trip pending. As such, Sunday mornings feel like every other morning.  My five year old son comes down the stairs, observes that no one is up yet, feels peckish but knows he's not supposed to help himself.  Being helpful, he brings the loaf of bread or at least a few slices to our closed door and slips them under the door.   "MOMMMMMMmmmmmmm." he gently calls until I respond.

And it does have to be me. 

The other day, after three pieces of not yet toast failed to wake me, he began chanting, "Mom, mom, mom mom mom mom Mommmmmmm."  I shuffled to brush my teeth.  "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom."  he kept calling.  His father answered his call.  "What do you want Paul?"

The answer was everything. What did he want?
"Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm."

How Not to Bring Your Children to Mass

Bringing small children to mass is always an adventure. Jesus wasn’t kidding when he said “Suffer the little children to come to me.” Some days, even the bribe of donuts after church fails to secure a toddler’s cooperation. As a veteran of these faith trials, I offer the following suggestions to make the weekly obligation more child friendly and faith filled.

Don’t Pretend You aren’t going to mass. This means the kids shouldn’t be loaded up with such items as ipods, gameboys, multiple cars, blocks and barbies. Books can be a lifesaver, but even reading should be somewhat selective. Any child that can read, should follow along in the misselette. Any child that can’t read, might be diverted by a picture bible or Catholic oriented story, or by a quiet reading of the gospel to them privately. Toddlers may need a toy or two to keep them busy, such toys should be hard to lose, noiseless and ultimately, so toddler oriented that older children won’t be watching them play with envy in their hearts.

Feed them at home. Some parents walk into mass with a plan of throwing food at their children to keep them quiet. Armed with bags from the local fast food establishment containing anything from lollipops to pancakes, they figure as long as the kids are quiet, it doesn’t matter if they’re eating. Bringing food for health reasons is one thing, but Mass is a communal experience and every sane child that sees another child chowing down on food in the cry room is thinking the same thing. “I want some.”

Don't pretend they’re not kids. Expecting children to sit quietly, eyes front, silent and well behaved for an entire sixty minutes is not recognizing children are children. They will have moments of great reverence and in the next two seconds, have an elbow fight with their sibling over pew space. One will sing loudly to emphasize the fact that the other is not singing. Breaking the mass down into parts helps a child to cope with the length of the liturgy better. Opening song to Gospel is one part, homily to Offertory hymn is a second part, Offertory to Our Father, Kiss of Peace to Go in Peace.

Having a reward system for making it through each of these four sections of the mass helps a child to settle into the liturgy and anticipate what comes. Earning a star for each section of the mass warrants a trip to the park, a donut, or at the very least, public praise.

Don't pretend they’re not your kids. This technique doesn’t work well if you attend mass regularly at the parish. Besides, even at a strange parish, siblings will out you if you pretend you know nothing about the toddler that is screaming on the floor and that gets awkward.

Be present yourself. Being present to your children at mass will help them be present to others at mass. After all, as the parents, we’re the first example. Dress nicely. Be on time. Sing the songs. Read along with emerging reader. Explain what is happening at the Liturgy of the Word and in the Eucharistic Prayer. Encourage the older children to join the choir, altar serve or act as readers. Invest them in being part of the mass just as assertively as one would basketball or academics, to instill in them the idea that this is sacred. This is who we are. This is what we believe.

Finally, when mass is ended, and we say “Thanks be to God,” mean it not because you’ve survived another week of going to mass with a two year old, but because you welcome the week ahead, having received food for the journey.