On the Road to Oz

He still hasn't found that convenient bucket to throw in case of fire.

Poor Dorothy. He's been on that yellow brick road for a long time now, and still, Elphaba keeps popping up. Even when he's brought back the broom to the Wizards of the DNC, Hillary keeps appearing in the crystal ball saying, "I'll get you my pretty, you and your little delegates too..."

This despite the fact that Oprah the good has given her blessing and all of munchkin land --Hollywood has welcomed him. Susan Sarandon has declared she will move to Canada if he doesn't win, can the Balwins be far behind? In a grand gesture, George Lucas has given his Gnostic blessing to the young candidate who would be president..."The Force is with him." Those mitochondrians must account for the half votes in Florida and Michigan.

Obama is like Boba Fett vs. all the clones that became the army of Storm Troopers for the Empire...Dukakis, clone, Al Gore...clone...John Kerry...clone...John Edwards...clone of a clone...talk about recycling. He at least says these values with absolute personal conviction.

Now, Hillary is talking about considering the veep position. It's rather like the Black knight of Monty Python saying "None Shall Pass." To quote Arthur, "You fought nobly good sir knight but the battle is mine." "Have at ye!"..."Alright, we'll call it a draw." She's hoping she's James Bond strapped on the table coming up with the right phrase, "Operation Grand Slam." to turn off the laser. Given what eventually happens to Bond in that Movie, Bill is hoping the same thing too.

In legislation, Hillary has become the poison pill that results in what Washington laughingly refers to as "compromise." If you don't swallow her, the DNC will split, if you do swallow her, you will taste bad to some who found you appealing before. Is it the great perfect dream team or the iceburg merging with the Titanic? It depends upon who you ask and when.

One of the delegates said, joining forces would be like "discovering there's no tooth fairy." Someone should brief that unnamed influential Democrat mentioned in Maureen Dowd's column today, "tooth fairies...not documented as actual entities at least by scientific means."

Still, I find the man hypnotic to watch. Listening hard to every policy and speech being given, I can't help but wonder how he does it. No one makes the idea of having one's wallet sucked dry sound as appealing as he does. He could read the phone book aloud with depth of feeling.

Going to now fire up my SUV, fill my tank and stop by a McDonalds...

Hillary's Family Tree

*This piece was inspired by a puff article on Hillary's relatives, it is a departure from my normal home spun stuff --think of it as dark chocolate instead of your standard every day Hershey's. As Always, I hope it makes you laugh. --Sherry

Who would have thought we could learn something new about Hillary Clinton?

How is it that Hillary's genetic magnificence did not come out when she was campaigning for Bill the first two times around, or when she ran for Senate? The Hillary Camp must have been holding this card for some time now. Imagine, being able to Google HRC and get Angelina Jolie and Madonna. Her Royal Clintoness even has ties to actual royalty, with Camilla Parker Bowles finally married to Prince Charles.

These shocking new details about the history of Hillary come courtesy of Washington genealogist William Addams Reitwiesner and the Washington Post: Reliable Source. (Friday, Nov. 2, 2007, C3) Reitwiesner is a Library of Congress employee. His research also revealed Hillary's musical roots transcended genres, as she is also linked to Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette (tenth cousins once removed). The Washington Post, being the Washington Post, rushed to break the news.

Having done my own research into her genealogical lineage, there are even more startling details that Hillary doesn't want made public.

Indeed, she managed to bury her family ties to eighth cousin twice removed, Margaret Hamilton; you know, the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. The Hillary Camp, aware that this connection would be unpleasant as it might scare small children, commissioned a revisionary tale of this character. It can be seen on Broadway today as the Tony Award winning show: Wicked.

Harder to conceal was the relationship with her French great, great, great uncle Nap--Napoleon Bonaparte to the rest of the world. Although now largely forgotten by the mainstream media, Old Bonie was undone in his first go 'round as Emperor with his preoccupation with the Health Care Reform Act of 1812, his implementation of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy just prior to the invasion of Russia, his obsession with a vast right wing conspiracy orchestrated by religious conservatives to bring back the monarchy, and his penchant for Lithuanian interns. Oh wait...that last part was from Bill's family tree.

Even though Sandy Berger was able to secret out the records from the Library of Congress in his pants before Reitwiesner could find them, I managed to procure a copy from the recesses of a secret vault in the Clinton Presidential Library.

Forget Albus Dumbledore, the real bombshell in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series was the identity of Tom Marvlo Riddle's love child fathered in his sixth year at Hogwarts in the days before free distribution of birth control in high schools. You guessed it, Hillary can trace her true origin to none other, Lord Voldemort.

When confronted about the connection, the Dark Lord shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, you know, there's no accounting for family."

When confronted about her alleged father while autographing pictures for an adoring crowd of progressives, Clinton responded in typically cryptic Clintonian fashion, "What is a Rose Law Firm by any other name?"

To my horror when I looked down at the autograph she put on my program, instead of seeing Hillary Rodham Clinton I read,
“I AM LADY CHILLHORNNORT.”

I looked up as she walked down the receiving line. She turned and with her smile said—“You and your little blog too.”