Because the Schedule is Driving Me Batty

Today, we had summer school I, summer school II, pick up from Summer School 1, Pick up from Summer School II, drop off for Driver's Ed.  Drop off for Conditioning.  Pick up from Driver's Ed.  Pick up from Conditioning. Drop child off at the Metro.  Drop kid off at the gym (note, not me), and later, pick up kid from gym, and later still, pick up kid from metro.   My youngest son's favorite movie?  Cars, Cars 2 and Cars 3.  The kids' favorite video game?  Mario Kart.  For someone who doesn't Uber, I spend a lot of time playing Taxi. 

This mind you, does not exclude the time at home spent folding laundry, sweeping, organizing paperwork, cleaning the kitchen, cooking meals and loading and unloading the dishwasher.

I also spent a load of time putting away books like a mousy librarian. 

I decided, this won't do.

So tomorrow, I'm taking a different tack.   I'm wearing all black. I'm going insist other people drive and cook and clean.  I'm only going to work at night.

How? 

Simple. 

I'm posting a note for them tomorrow on the fridge. 

Dear Children,

If you are in crisis. If there's a need.  You should wait until nightfall and go out with a flashlight and construction paper and signal this:

 Before signalling, understand BatMom will handle things differently than ordinary mom. 

For example: 

If you take your sister's cookie, I will make you return said cookie, or if it has been consumed, BatMom will make you clean  your sister's room and take her out for ice cream.  The difference between Mom and Batmom? Batmom will talk in a low gravely voice and wear a cape.   It makes being a Mom cool. 

If you fight with your brother over the television/Wii/DS/Switch/whatever it is, Mom would separate you and take away the electronics.   Batmom will separate you, take away the electronics, and tell you no electronics until you read a book and give you both three chapter books to choose from.   Why?  Because I'm Batmom. 

If you turn on the electronics after Batmom declares otherwise, Batmom will using a Batmom voice, challenge you to a waterballon fight outside.   Batmom knows, you don't mix electronics with water, so it will get you away from the stupid inducing machines.    Batmom is also a better shot than regular Mom. 

I still have to do the horrendous schedule.  But I bet if I slap a few bats on the outside of the car, and it won't be quite so boring. 

Batman? Really?

Once you've been compared to Jesus, Noah, God, Superman, Martin Luther King, to JFK, to David before the Goliath, to all good things in all times that ever existed in your first term, how do you then go for a second? How does one go about creating a sequel and making it 20% cooler?

You reboot.  First rule of reboot? Do not talk about the reboot. 

Written back in 2012...found it when doing research...the political part no longer applies, but the subsequent stuff does.


President Obama: Premiering for the first time as if you've never seen him before: I'm Batman!

But you can't be a hero without a villain so of course Romney is the evil villain BANE...cue the boos and throwing of lettuce and rotten oranges.  So what does that make all of us who aren't rooting for you? Henchmen? Flunkies and toadies? or just the duped citizens of Gotham?  Are the 99percenters protesting Wayne Tech?

It is an insult to Americans everywhere to think this sort of pandering heroworship/demonization not only should work, but should even be considered. This would be laughable except I'm so stinking tired of being told that any GOP who actually attempts to disagree with the DNC is selfish, lazy, cruel, bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, ignorant, stubborn, hateful, racist, corrupt, demonic etc. etc. etc. and anyone who does not agree with this assessment is also ignorant, bitter, uninformed, unevolved...put your favorite insult here. 

Don't tell me it doesn't apply to me, it has been draped on everyone who disagrees with this administration or the Democratic party if they disagree about anything. And I ignored it for a long time...but at some point, you get tired of ignoring an insulting bully. The intent has been to silence dissent, discourage debate and make one ashamed of not being at the cool table with all the beautiful popular people. This nerd is annoyed. This nerd doesn't want to sit at their table, but she sure as hell doesn't want to spend the rest of her lunch period listening to insults.

Now I know plenty of lovely people in real life who disagree with my politics.  We talk, we engage over email, we have a few laughs when we're together and we don't always just talk that stuff because that would be terribly boring and mean we don't have lives.  They don't call me names.  They don't presume that I don't mean what I say or have reasonable reasons for my thinking.  I likewise think the same of them.  It is what civilized people do. 

However it is election season, and politicians running for office and their flunkies, view civil discourse as something for the flyover people, a tool used to sedate the masses, a mask of a smile and a glad hand to secure the vote and move on.  Treating one's political opposition with genuine regard is not something one does in earnest --or at least that's how it appears given their broad sweeping statements about all who do not go hand in glove with their agenda. 

To those who say, well, there's Rush and Hannity and Mark Levin and Ann Coulter, let us say we don't like the slinging of mud on our side either.  For me there is a frustration that a meeting of minds that happens in parking lots and playgrounds and over phone calls and coffee in the real world, doesn't seem to touch the political stripe class. It's time we recognized it's the cliquey kids in DC and those who only live inside that fish bowl of DC waters that view all things as an R and D first, while the rest of us (those not elected to office), who do not struggle to get along or understand each other.  We don't think something is profoundly wrong with the people of California or New York or Kansas or Texas.   We don't presume bad faith and we don't assume malicious intent or design.  We're Americans.

So this is a call out to all who specialize in talking so they can be heard to have spoken, have something to say, the media class and the political class that plays with the media. Think about why the other side might disagree and trust that we the public actually want to have skin in this game and be involved.  Don't dismiss our disagreements with insults. It's boring and frankly, shoddy thinking.  If all you have is insults and (frankly you've run out of insulting insults, so now it is just getting stupid) you must not either believe your argument will hold or trust that it is tolerable for someone to disagree. Surely you are smarter than this.

But in case you're not...

I propose we all purchase some of those air horns used at basketball games and blow them whenever you start dipping into the muck.  So if you want to be heard, you'll have to learn how to play nice.