That's Why I'm Here in Right Field, Weeding the Dandelions

This weekend, my children kept sniping at each other.  Little words, little slights, little fights, everyone kept setting everyone off.  In an attempt to right the family ship, I kicked them all outside.  I even went outside and showed solidarity by gardening...well, weeding.   I'm not big into gardening. But I went outside and pulled up plants.  Killing plants, that's something of a specialty of mine.  

However the snips and nips kept coming. We kept stopping them, but they kept returning.  She's annoying me.  He's rude.  She called me stupid.  He took my ball.   Finally, I reached critical mass.  

My son had laid out several baseball bats and a bucket of softballs in hopes of a game.  

I went over and grabbed a ball and bat.   "I"  Wham!  Pop up to second.
Tossing another ball.  "AM." Wham! Dribbler to short.
Tossed another ball.  "SICK." Wham! Pop up to third.
Tossed another.  "Of"  Wham! Low grounder to first.
Tossed another. "My" Wham! Low grounder to in between first and second, slow hop.
Tossed another. "Family FIGHTING!" Wham!  Pop to second.
I hit two more.   They popped to the pitcher mound.  "Just stop! This is not what we're about. This isn't how we're supposed to be! This is a beautiful day.  It's gorgeous outside, and the day's being wasted with fights."  I hit two more that stumbled before reaching third and short.

I looked.  All of my children had gathered, the younger ones came in close to hug me.  The older ones looked sheepish and gathered all of the softballs.

My husband walked over and gave me a kiss and whispered, "Good speech.  I think they got it."  Then he laughed.  "Even in a full on rage, you never hit it out of the infield."  

I went back to pulling weeds.