Why Are the Lights On?

Some days I worry what my children take from the day in day out example I provide.  Will they remember me reading them stories, making cinnamon brown sugar swirl pancakes and introducing them to Pinky and the Brain, Black Beauty, Pente, and Broadway show tunes?  Or will they remember me declaring Mommy martial law because it's past ten o'clock and the lights keep coming on?

There's a rule in parenting, never ask something you don't want answered. Because no matter who you ask, the answer won't be what you expected, and probably not what you wanted either.  

"Did you do your homework?"   The answer is always no.  Even if the answer from the child is yes, apply President Reagan foreign policy to the matter.  Trust but verify.   Usually, the answer is sort of, or not all, or not yet.

"Did you brush your teeth?"  Four out of five dentist recommend touching the tooth brushes to see if they have any residual moisture indicating they've been put under the sink lately, but a better indicator of proper oral hygiene is the sink itself.  If there are gobs of blue paste everywhere, they brushed.

"Why are the lights on?"  REAL EXAMPLES

with son, age ten.

"I was looking for his dinosaur egg."
"But it's after nine o'clock."
"But it's missing."
"Where'd you see it?"
"In the bathroom in the cup."
"But you're looking in your bedroom."
"I know and I haven't found it."

with daughter, age 7

"Why are the lights on?"
"I just wanted to finish this chapter."
(She's got me torn, because she knows I love to see a reading kid).
"What book are you reading?"
....long pause....um.....
Coming up stairs, I find her engaged in staging a tea party with stuffed ponies.

With daughter, age 4

"Why are the lights on?"

"I was thinking."

With son, age 15.

"Why are the lights on?"
He likes to play with my mind and will tell me to my face,
"They're not on."

So when my husband comes home and finds the place shut into total darkness and asks,
"Why are the lights off?"

"I tripped the power line so they couldn't turn them back on. It was the only way to get them to bed."

"Why are the lights still off?"

"I don't know how to fix it and I can't see."