Friday, February 6, 2015

You Can't Get There

Last Friday, my oldest son called.  In his senior year, he simply has to finish all of his classes and student teaching to acquire a double major in English and Education.  One class in one subject remained.  The only semester it is offered, is the spring. The only time it is offered, required my son to pray public transit would somehow magically transport him back to campus every time within moments of the fifteen minute grace period of being fashionably late.  He talked to people but couldn't skype, independent study or transfer the credits from another university.  The options remained: graduate without the double degree --but this would hurt his chances with graduate school, or gainful employment as it would prevent certification; wait for the next year and work on a masters in the meantime but this would also eliminate some of the opportunities he currently seeks, take the class but never show up...something he doesn't do, or beg, plead and grovel in hopes of the college seeing things his way.  Alas, none of these worked.

So we bought a car and gave him the old one thus eliminating the transportation issue for him.

Which leads me to ask: Is it more cost effective to purchase a car with payments for five years, or to pay for an additional year of college?

Answer: Boo. No. None of the above.

But it's good. We needed to replace our vehicle, it is now twelve years old with enough mileage to have circled the world 8 times over.  I told myself, it's all good. They can learn to drive on the small car.

On Monday, I sought to take care of some paper work for my second daughter. She registered for the PSAT back as a freshman, and put down her name as she is called in the home.  Unfortunately, her legal names begins with another name, and to go in to take college boards, the identification has to match exactly.  I shifted through our documents.  We didn't have the necessary materials.  I ordered them.  They arrived.  I needed to fax (Who faxes anymore) the papers to a number.  We had an old printer which said it faxes, but it doesn't.  I tried.  I tried multiple times before the printer decided in addition to not faxing, it would also stop printing.  So we needed a new printer/fax machine to send the documents. I used a friend's machine.  We got an email (not a fax) the next day.  The stuff I sent in?  Too dark. Send again.

 Did we go get a new printer too?  Yes, we did. I'm setting it up. Hoping that when I'm done, I can copy the i.d. in a lighter tone and then fax it from home so that they will change the name on the registration which will then allow us to sign up for and pay so that she can take her SAT.

Which leads to the following perfect for the SAT question:

If requirement A makes Mom's hair frizz and her eyes bug out, and requirement B is necessary for C which must be done in order to fulfill requirement A, which must be done in order that the normal future of all life continue, how long before Mom borrows a bat and begins taking out her frustrations on the broken printing machine?  

Answer....this afternoon.  I'll be roasting s'mores over the lifeless husk of the old printer after I beat it senseless.

My dad tells the story about how once he and some friends were on a fishing trip, and got lost (in the age before GPS) on the backroads of Louisiana.  They flagged down a local man walking with his dog.  "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Port Mansfield?" my father asked.

The man smiled and let out a low whistle.  "Yeah I do, but you ain't going right." and kept on walking with his dog.  

I have had a week of "Yeah I do, but you ain't going right."  

Next week I tackle valentines cards for six classes and three science projects.  It may be time to find myself lost in Louisiana.  

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