Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Decadent Life of Mine

Recently I came across a post from a New York magazine entitled, the Decadence of Procreation. It argued that because children cost so much, some odd unknown number between 12,290 and 1.8 million, having them is a status symbol and a sign of decadence --of having something inaccessible and rare as versus the masses.   To me, there's a huge difference between the just over 10K and the 1.8 million in a year, but that may be my 1%er brain not getting that there isn't any difference.  I didn't even know that people coveted dressage horses and third beach houses.  Clearly, I've got to work on my covetous heart, it isn't nearly decadant enough.

I'm also scratching my head here because in order to have masses to rise above, don't we need masses, ergo children?  And don't those who don't engage in "procreation" thus have the money we've spent on our little crumb crunchers to then lord over us with homes and live styles that are happy meal and mini-van free?   Does someone actually think people have children to lord over others....we don't even get to lord over our own masses, let alone others.   Children are not trophies or show ponies who do tricks for treats...they barely agree to go to bed under threat of a mother sitting outside in the hallway, working on her laptop acting as a guard dog.   I do growl.  

But apparently, mine is a life of luxury, the likes of which only few can reach. 

"Hello, I'm Robin Leach and I'm here with another addition of the Decadently Procreative. This time, we visit the house of one Sherry Antonetti.  With ten children, this woman has it all.   A shop vac in the kitchen....a couch full of laundry....and a 12 passenger van parked outside.  Yes, it's diet coke and mac and cheese dreams for this lady on the go.  

At 5:45 she starts her day.  Fixing seven lunches and 10 breakfasts, then it's time to load the car and get the elementary set to school by 7:55. Her husband has already shuttled their two high school daughters to their separate stops (the bus and the metro) at 6:45.  Returning home but not before stopping to snag the clothes at the dry cleaner, she meets the bus that will take her four year old for his half day program. 

However there's a slight snag.  He's kicked off his shoes and the backpack is still up in the house.  A brief run up the 10th of a mile drive way and an impressive backing up of the E350 down the s-shaped driveway backwards and she puts her little son on his way to school.  Now it is 8:30. Time to patrol the house, make the beds, collect the laundry, empty the trash cans, plunge any toilets, pick up the trash, remember it's trash day and run out the door to bring the cans down and then back again.  It's 9 o'clock and finally, she can eat some breakfast.  Clearing the table, she spies it already prepared and abandoned by someone... Rejected pop tart anyone?"

So go ahead...envy me.  



gaylene said...

Yes. This is why I had kids. totally improved my social status. ;P

priest's wife said...

haha I love the Robin lreach parody- we 'only' have 4 kiddos- but in S. cal, I think that would be considered 'decadent' (with leftover bean soup for lunch while we homeschool- no money for Catholic school- that's for people with 1 or MAYBE 2 kids

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Leaving a comment is a form of free tipping. But this lets me purchase diet coke and chocolate.

If you sneak my work, No Chocolate for You!