Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

Most election years, I watch both conventions.  I hear some good speeches, but I was also pay attention to what is not said. Part of the purpose of a convention is to introduce the party/person to the people. Both conventions are first and foremost, giant commercial parties for the faithful.  Here's how they usually go regardless of your party affiliation:

 Here's our candidate, rah rah rah.  Good to people, good to animals, good to rocks.  Good to air. Good for everybody. Good. Good. Good. Good. Goody goodness type good. Good good goodness with a puppy and apple pie. Good. Good. Good.  Oh and we're cool too.  Our side rocks.  It rocks. ROCKS!  Did you see that we ROCK? Rock on!  Rock! Yeah! 

That other side..Evil. Pure evil. Impure evil. Evil with impurity on the side. Impure evil with pure evil on the side. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil evilness and villainy, villainy and evil evilness.  They are so evil, they run with scissors. We saw it.  We can't stop it, but you can. Stop their evil scissor running or wallow in freakish misery forever if they win, worrying about your eyes or skin being hurt by those evil people with scissors.

We have a solution. Our solution is so obvious and simple a caveman could do it, but those evil cavemen on the other side, they've been stymieing our leadership forever.   They fear our brilliance.  They fear you.  They'd fear you even more if you recognize our brilliance.  We're brilliant.  We're brilliant, we're brilliant and we're good for you (Like fruits and vegetables and other foods in sensible portions only moreso).  Join now and you can be brilliant too.  It's contagious, just like voting for the other side makes you an evil caveman.  You don't want to be an evil caveman so you should join us and be an independent thinker like all of us. Then you too will be brilliant and good. (Don't forget good).  Brilliant and good and like fruits and vegetables only moreso. And we have a plan.  We can't show you the plan because then the evil stupid cavemen would steal it and use it in an evil stupid way, but we have a plan.

Also, we'll give you things because, we're good and brilliant and brilliantly good. The other side won't give you things because again, they're stupid and evil and selfish.  Or, we'll solve all the problems the selfish evil stupid people created and punish the stupid evil selfish people because then they'll either learn they should be brilliant and good like us, or continue to be punished on top of being selfish and evil and stupid.  

And, after millions and maybe billions of dollars are spent telling us this on tv and radio and computer and in magazines and papers and countless hours are lost that could be used to actually address the issues of unemployment, taxes, health care, the huge expansion of government powers to include not only the Patriot act but unmanned drones over our own country, voters will still be left with a great puzzle.   Not who are these guys but why is it always the same two options, Godzilla or Mothra?  The problem is, no matter which monster wins, it's the people that have to clean up the mess.

And like those Godzilla movies, there's always another one, there's always another election, so there's always another battle of the titans to illustrate to the destroyed city that we are not players in this arena, we're at best innocent bystanders who get to scream at the sidelines as cars are smashed and buildings crushed.  Both parties have huge planks in their eyes, and the media goes around screaming about the voter's splinters and how those splinters are affecting their judgement and their vision.

I won't say that there isn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties or that anyone's vote doesn't matter, only that I'd wish at some point, we could get beyond what feels like a bad movie or at best, a fight between high school nerds over which sci-fiction is the best; the type of Internet arguments about who is better, Old or New, Starwars or Star Trek, Kirk or Spock that go on forever and mean nothing!

I'd like for our country to get out of adolescence or at least middle school about politics.  Don't just tell me how wonderful you are.  Tell me what you are going to do and how and then why.  Show your work.  Let me see what your plan is. Trust that if it is a good plan, I'll back you.  If it is a bad plan, I'll tell you.   If there isn't a plan at all, I'll be annoyed at you.  If you lie about the plan, I will be more than annoyed.  I'll be angry.

And when the little people in the b-movies get angry and organized, even the big monsters lose.