Lego My Ego

I have a confession to make.

When I was a kid, I loved legos. My brothers got all these cool blue and black and grey legos and sometimes, they'd even let me play with them --and we'd make, well, they only came in rectangles and squares so we made lots of cities and houses and buildings. Then we'd rip them apart and do it again. There were unlimited possibilities provided one didn't mind that everything was a cube.

I kept trying to make a castle but there just weren't the right types of pieces for my complete vision. I didn’t just want ridges, I wanted turrets, I wanted it fantastic. And blue and grey weren’t going to cut it.

But modern sensibilities have ruined my childhood love. Now, legos come in all sizes and colors and with instructions. As such, they become ships. They become bridges and human figures and full scale renditions of famous landmarks of both film and reality. My sons love them.

However, because legos now come with special pieces and specific forms, my boys assemble them and then, well, that's it. The masterpieces are to be placed on mantles, tables, bookshelves, and never touched again.

I know.

One day I was cleaning a bit too close and knocked a few things down quite by accident.I had to apologize and promise to be more careful. It took ice cream and a round of baseball to get back into my kid’s good graces.

For many Christmas and Birthdays, the legos were gifts and the piles of created pieces mounted up. And I said nothing and was very careful where I vacuumed.

But the mantles and bookshelves were starting to get crowded. In the basement, there was a 4x8 library table we set up for arts and crafts. It was now overrun.Having once attempted to clear the table only to be stopped by a near melt down, "You're throwing away my childhood." type drama, I am now seeking a statute of limitations from either my boys or the lego company, beyond which it may not be considered reasonable for legos to remain in their assembled form.

The corporation has so far not returned my calls.

My sons on the other hand…
"How about a year?"

No answer.
"How about two?"

...Okay, but once they leave for college, I'm making a serious castle out of those babies...and then, no one's touching it until I retire.