Monday, August 27, 2012

Things I Teach My Kids that I'm Still Learning

By definition, if you are a parent, you are a hypocrite.  Why? Because you don't want your kids to bang their heads against brick walls until they are injured even though you doing  the exact same thing injured you but also taught you better ways to get around obstacles.  We want to by nature, short circuit the process of growing up and make it easier.  It is out of love and stupidity about the learning process that we do this, but it is also absolutely true. We hope they will do better than we do, but often the reality is that kids are here on this earth to make us finally shape up and do the things our parents always told us would make our lives soooooo much easier if we did.   Some day I'll mature past 15. 

10) Eat healthy.  Pass me that diet coke, I need to start my morning.  Yeah, I got pinged on that this morning...stupid smartie kids.    

9) Stay organized and write it down. (This part I would do if I could find a working pen).  I can find everyone else's assignments, but can't keep track of my notepad for more than two days at a time.  Nubby orange (why is it always orange?) crayons and dried up felt tip pens don't cut it. 

8) Read directions 3 times before you start a project.   Pshaw. Who has the time? I'll just skim and intuit.  It will work.  Really.

7) Go outside, breathe the fresh air and play.  Step away from the screen. (Cue irony alert, she wrote a blog...ummmmmm MOM? There's the door, go do it)!

6) Dress nice.  It matters.  Memo to me...get hair cut.

5) Learn new things that are hard.  (Is that like how you've been working on the same piano piece for 5 years Mom? Or the guitar where you can play maybe 2 chords?) yeah. yeah. yeah. Having 4 teenagers is really really really fun.

4) Exercise.   Not doing it is just an excuse.   Please excuse me, I have to go fold socks. 

3) Did you ask Saint Anthony?   (Okay, this one scares me because my kids will not look until I've asked). 

2) Write thank you notes.   Do it the day of the party and whatever you do, don't lose the list.   I've learned to preemptively buy the stationary and stamps.  I'm considering making the next party list on an email so I can ensure it doesn't get lost.

1) Go to bed...on time....90% of the time.  Yeah, that will happen.  Some day.

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