Confirmation 2016

Last night, my daughter got confirmed. Somewhere in that mass, in between the homily and the laying on of hands, I knew as one can only know through the Holy Spirit, how much He wants to flood our lives with grace.

My daughter chose Monica as her patron saint, and a family friend she's known since she was born, as her sponsor.   We talked about the seven gifts.  If I were to describe my daughter, I would say she has fortitude, kindness, a thirst for knowledge, and the right judgment to know, talent will only take you so far, you have to will everything else.  

She didn't feel well this morning, but went to school anyway.  She pushes through suffering, as something to simply bear, rather than complain about.   She practices.  She does first and second and even third drafts.  This is a child who despite my parenting, gets how you tackle the academic world.  It's work.

I sat marveling at this person we once worried we'd break because she was so tiny.   I can think of all the forging in her life, the loss of her hair (at 4), the seemingly at the time permanent crossing of her eyes (at 8), not being up to speed in reading when she compared herself to her peers or her siblings. (9).

I know she stressed about her weight, she stressed when her siblings teased her, I know she stressed when friends left the school.  I know when she cried and cried hard, but didn't curse her fate.  She pushed all the harder.   Her sufferings, though seemingly small, could have made her smaller still.  They didn't. They made her kind.  

If there's a motto to my daughter's life, it is "There's a way.  There's always a way.  I just have to keep looking."   She never lost faith, She is Faith.  

Sacraments are an outward sign of an eternal reality.   Confirmation just confirmed what we've watched growing for 14 years, a beautiful soul.  

Faith's Confirmation 2016

Forever Feasting

People who follow this blog might know my piece from a while back, She is forever singing.  I still go to the same dry cleaner's and my friend Nemi is still there working while her mother is in a home receiving ongoing care.  My friend's mom still cannot speak, but she's lived well past the day the doctors said she'd die.

Today, I dropped off shirts and Nemi waved me over to tell me about her mother's birthday. Three days ago, her mom turned seventy-eight, and they held a feast at the home.  There were over one hundred people on the floor with gifts, with food.  The line of visitors filled the hallway.  Because the place had a piano, people took turns playing it, and the whole home echoed with the chorus of a hundred people plus staff, singing.  Singing, eating, feasting, celebrating a woman who could only tell them all "I love you." with her face.  "I know my mom knows now, she will never be forgotten, and that she is loved." Nemi said.  

The vision of one hundred people coming to celebrate a birthday in a nursing home filled my eyes with tears; this was how life should be spent, this was unbridled joy at someone being alive even if they could not "do" anything useful.   I wished I'd thought of the idea for my own dad and my heart pined for the idea of a thousand birthday parties of the same nature, where every person in the home, whether they knew it was their birthday or not, had a feast brought to them, complete with a crowd of willing singers wanting to wish with full hearts, "and many more."

Once again, I felt awe at the testimony of faith lives lived out fully, as manifested by something as ordinary as a birthday party.  "Look at how they love one another." floated into my mind.   Who wouldn't want to have a world peopled with people like this? Who wouldn't want that deep knowledge as a birthday gift; that one was loved for who one is, not for what one can or cannot do.

My friend and her family, they are salt, light and song.  Next week my son turns 22.  I hadn't planned to go nuts, he's 22.  But now, I'm thinking....he's going to have a great birthday.

Lawn Chair Catechism

In chapter five we explore the first threshold, “Initial Trust."

 This is not the same as an active, personal faith.  It is a positive association with the Church that makes it possible to move closer to God.  It could be a Catholic friend, a good experience with a Catholic school or hospital, or maybe even a positive image of the faith portrayed in a movie or book:
The first task of evangelization is to find out if a bridge of trust already exists.

. . . Many don’t trust God or the Church, by they do trust a Christian in their life.  Maybe they trust you.  You may be the bridge that will one day lead them to a life-changing encounter with Christ.

For discussion: Join the conversation over at Catholicmom.com!

In your own faith:

• How was the bridge of trust built for you?
• Who are the people who helped you to come as far as you have in your personal journey?
• Have you ever been that link of trust for another person?

For me, the bridge of trust in God was built prayer by prayer, mass by mass, person by person. That sounds a bit trite but it is how faith has grown in me.   People think because I have ten children, I always had a full Catholic life, but to be Catholic is to constantly recognize that your faith life is not full, that it is a drop in the ocean, that it will never be full, that we will never have "made it."  I can see where I have gone from a casual Catholic 2-3 mass or 1-2 if the month was bad...to a more conscious Catholic --where the mass became important..to a praying Catholic....where daily prayer became necessary, if not always pious, good or disciplined....to now as I am casting about, holding fast and waiting for firm direction as to what we are to do and the grace to do it.   This growth in devotion has seasoned over years and has ebbs and flows and miracles and times of extreme zeal and of fitful forgetfulness. 

When have I been a bridge of trust to others?   When I have been approached to pray. It is always an honor and a privilege to be asked to pray, and I am always moved, particularly when I am asked by people who do not know me well, and it has happened.  It is a tremendous thing that causes me to tremble, when I am asked.  I take it seriously because it is a charge, and a push both from the person and the Holy Spirit, to deepen my own relationship with God while petitioning for someone else.  

People who have helped me on my journey...aside from my husband, parents and children, there have been people who were pushers to move me to the next level of devotion, to move me out of my comfort zone, to make my "aren't I doing enough?" whiny soul move. God perpetually "moves my cheese."

To begin:  I prayed before going to college, that I would meet someone who loved me for me.  On the third day, I met the man who would become my husband.  I'd also prayed to have lots of people who loved me.  Ten kids constitutes a lot.   Some times I suddenly am struck, this prayer, this prayer you prayed has been answered. The thought comes like lightning, random and yet illuminating and I am dumbstruck in the moment. I knew my prayer was answered with the explanation point that was my daughter Anna, the tenth.  I could hear God laughing, answering, "I will give you all you ask and more besides."  Initial trust led to more intimate trust. 

The story arc continues.  When my oldest son was set to go to kindergarten, we couldn't get into the school, and I was told to get involved in the parish if this was my desire.  Trusting this advice, I signed up. The church came back and asked me to volunteer for a three year commitment of once a week meetings.  Somehow, I impulsively took a deep breath and agreed.  We trusted, and as I was pulled deeper in, my family followed.  We kept trusting as God gave us our fourth and then...when we got to five children, I was introduced to Father Dan.  He pulled us deeper in with requiring more regular prayer out of me, he pulled us to making it to mass every week.  Paul and his needs pushed us further still. 

Now we are here, we are going to mass, we are praying, and I know we're at one of those "Now what?" type moments of our faith, when we don't know how we're going to keep doing this but we're still doing this, and even writing this has made me realize, we're needing someone to help direct us deeper in, to help make the next part of our faith journey, more deliberate.  But to move forward, will once again require on our part, initial trust.