There's been a lot of talk about how the President has not yet fulfilled any of his campaign promises for which he was elected. But I submit that this accusation is unfair. It's not true. Just look at what he promised and what has occurred over the past year.
1) End global warming. Remember, this was the moment when the oceans would recede and the world would be healed of its humanity inflicted injuries?
Currently, DC is under 2-3 feet of snow and a lot of the settled science has been revealed to be mushy. So voila, promise kept! No one is worrying about global warming anymore.
2) President Obama inherited a debt Inauguration day. It was awful. Something had to be done. No one could imagine how the country would manage with such a staggering debt. 10.6 trillion (Chart from the Washington Post).
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/03/21/GR2009032100104.html
When we consider we just finished year one and we're now at $12,357,481,272,872.09 according to the national debt clock. 2 trillion in a year. Suddenly, I think we could have manged a 10.6 trillion debt better than the 12.3 and up we're going to have to; see I'm learning nuance. Memo to the Dems and Executive branch: If you want to keep bashing Bush for his irresponsibility, don't expect me to be pleased with yours.
3) The current President said that Transparency in Government would no longer be an issue with his administration. And....it's just not an issue for this administration.
4) Not hiring lobbyists. Now we all know he hired Eric Holder(Global Crossing), Tom Vilsack (NEA), William Lynn (Raytheon), Mark Patterson (Goldman Sachs), Ron Klain (Coalition for Asbestos Resolution, meaning trial lawyers), Melody Barnes (ACLU) and (ACS), Cecilia Munoz (National Council of LaRaza), and Patrick Gaspard, a lobbyist for the Service Employees International Union. But since they're not lobbyists anymore, what's the problem? (Source: Politico, January 28, 2010).
5) Everyone will have skin in the game. He will not raise taxes on 90% of tax payers.
This is true.
He's raised it on 100%.
6) Because we would be more worldly and sophisticated, the world would again respect us. China? No. Venezuela? Iran? Iraq? Russia. Nyet. France? Japan? Spain? India? England? Oh dear, look at the time. Germany? Poland? Israel? Pakistan? Mexico? Canada? Kenya? The UN? The mayor of Tampa? I mean, if we were in a jam, (like most would say we are), who would be on our "Phone a friend" list?
Not an expert on foreign policy, but I'd say the likelihood of someone willingly answering the phone to give us a helpful final answer is 50/50.
7) That politics in Washington would no longer be business as usual. Insert your own political joke here.
So shame on all of you Republicans, Conservatives, Democrats, Independents and Tea Bag Partiers! We should realize how wrong we were to criticize this man, this leader of our country for not being a person of his word. He meant everything he said; just not the way we thought.
Showing posts with label HSA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HSA. Show all posts
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sunday, November 15, 2009
No Try Zone
Dear Children,
In the interest of your personal homeland security, the following regulations have gone into effect immediately.
1) All whines of minors shall not be served. You must be 21 to have a whine. Then we will serve you wine, and that should deal with the problem or at least abate it.
2) Conversations in the car that begin with the word Mom as Ma-om, indicating "I have the floor and I'm telling." rather than a term of endearment are banned. Violators shall be subjected to Taylor Swift, Barney, Classical music or Show tunes, whatever annoys most. Hint: Even if we are on the driveway, I will back up and go around the block just to enforce this.
3) Peace through Work. We shall be a benevolent dictatorship, or at least the later if you are not benevolent towards each other. There are always socks to be mated and toilets to scrub. If you fight, la sale de bain awaits.
4) If you want your beds made, dishes washed, dinners, lunches and snacks available and the ready chauffeur, you should keep Mommy happy. While Diet coke, chocolate and foot rubs work very well, magic words like please and thank you are all that are needed. Note to older children: Sulks get nothing but boring lectures. Why do you think I give boring lectures? I'm hoping you don't like them and find them dull such that you don't want me to give another one.
5) I know when you say things under your breath, they aren't complimentary and your sister did NOT misunderstand what you said and neither did I. The fact that I cannot prove it in a court of law does not matter because here, I am the court. I am the law. Guilty until proven otherwise works for me.
6) Mom is the criminal court. Dad is the Civil. Meaning: justice comes swifter with Mom but the penalties are much more lasting with Dad. When considering making an appeal for a different venue, chose wisely.
If you have any questions or concerns about these regulations, please check with Mom or Dad. Also, do not cite regulations to each other as a means of illustrating moral or ethical superiority. Doing so will generate complaints (see reg.#1) and most likely result in subsequent HSA violations of rules 2 and 5, leaving you to decide about the outcome of number 6. Just remember, these rules are for your own safety and protection and our sanity.
Have fun.
In the interest of your personal homeland security, the following regulations have gone into effect immediately.
1) All whines of minors shall not be served. You must be 21 to have a whine. Then we will serve you wine, and that should deal with the problem or at least abate it.
2) Conversations in the car that begin with the word Mom as Ma-om, indicating "I have the floor and I'm telling." rather than a term of endearment are banned. Violators shall be subjected to Taylor Swift, Barney, Classical music or Show tunes, whatever annoys most. Hint: Even if we are on the driveway, I will back up and go around the block just to enforce this.
3) Peace through Work. We shall be a benevolent dictatorship, or at least the later if you are not benevolent towards each other. There are always socks to be mated and toilets to scrub. If you fight, la sale de bain awaits.
4) If you want your beds made, dishes washed, dinners, lunches and snacks available and the ready chauffeur, you should keep Mommy happy. While Diet coke, chocolate and foot rubs work very well, magic words like please and thank you are all that are needed. Note to older children: Sulks get nothing but boring lectures. Why do you think I give boring lectures? I'm hoping you don't like them and find them dull such that you don't want me to give another one.
5) I know when you say things under your breath, they aren't complimentary and your sister did NOT misunderstand what you said and neither did I. The fact that I cannot prove it in a court of law does not matter because here, I am the court. I am the law. Guilty until proven otherwise works for me.
6) Mom is the criminal court. Dad is the Civil. Meaning: justice comes swifter with Mom but the penalties are much more lasting with Dad. When considering making an appeal for a different venue, chose wisely.
If you have any questions or concerns about these regulations, please check with Mom or Dad. Also, do not cite regulations to each other as a means of illustrating moral or ethical superiority. Doing so will generate complaints (see reg.#1) and most likely result in subsequent HSA violations of rules 2 and 5, leaving you to decide about the outcome of number 6. Just remember, these rules are for your own safety and protection and our sanity.
Have fun.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Airport Security Depends
It’s always a cheap shot to talk about the hassles of travel, but when the flight attendant announces that the bathroom on the plane is inoperative ten minutes before boarding, when life hands one something that choice, that absurd, that rich with possibilities...well, I just couldn't resist.
People raced to take care of things and fretted when the stewardess reminded us that drinks would soon be served. It didn’t help the collective mood of the passengers when the pilot asked us to reshuffle seats prior to take off to “balance the load.” Had the co-pilot taken the effect of full bladders into account when considering how the weight needed to be redistributed?
As the plane began its taxi down the runway, preparing to leave ground and reasonable walking distance from working facilities for the next two hours, I heard speculation about what other essential non-essential equipment on the airbus might not be fully operational. Those of us who had decided we had camel kidneys and would grit it out, began to experience flyer’s remorse.
As the news traveled through the back of the plane, the woman next to me who had missed the announcement at the gate asked “What are we supposed to do? Open a window?” I had seen Goldfinger and said, “I hope not.”
The first thirty minutes passed uneventfully, except I was keenly aware of the fact that there was at least 1000 miles to go and 30,000 feet between me and the nearest restroom. Turbulence became an issue, making those of us who chose fortitude over the expedient stress of trying to go through a line longer than the one for security in less than ten minutes, even more regretful. Our agony would be prolonged and exquisite, just as theirs had been intense and brief. As the star bellied sneeches on the plane, they could rightfully gloat at those of us who had none upon thars and we prayed for brisk tail winds and no funny jokes or sneezes that might make sitting in the middle row a bit awkward.
At this juncture, the stewardess, who had overheard the word “bathroom” from our conversations, discovered that we thought the bathroom was broken. “They announced it at our gate ten minutes before boarding.” We explained.
Going back to the front, the stewardess spoke to us all, “Our bathroom is working. They must have gotten the wrong flight number.”
I’ll say. Some other flight has some really good material for a humor column, particularly if it was the flight boarding from DC to Vegas.
Day One of the Erma Bombeck Conference...I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, try www.humor-blogs.com!
People raced to take care of things and fretted when the stewardess reminded us that drinks would soon be served. It didn’t help the collective mood of the passengers when the pilot asked us to reshuffle seats prior to take off to “balance the load.” Had the co-pilot taken the effect of full bladders into account when considering how the weight needed to be redistributed?
As the plane began its taxi down the runway, preparing to leave ground and reasonable walking distance from working facilities for the next two hours, I heard speculation about what other essential non-essential equipment on the airbus might not be fully operational. Those of us who had decided we had camel kidneys and would grit it out, began to experience flyer’s remorse.
As the news traveled through the back of the plane, the woman next to me who had missed the announcement at the gate asked “What are we supposed to do? Open a window?” I had seen Goldfinger and said, “I hope not.”
The first thirty minutes passed uneventfully, except I was keenly aware of the fact that there was at least 1000 miles to go and 30,000 feet between me and the nearest restroom. Turbulence became an issue, making those of us who chose fortitude over the expedient stress of trying to go through a line longer than the one for security in less than ten minutes, even more regretful. Our agony would be prolonged and exquisite, just as theirs had been intense and brief. As the star bellied sneeches on the plane, they could rightfully gloat at those of us who had none upon thars and we prayed for brisk tail winds and no funny jokes or sneezes that might make sitting in the middle row a bit awkward.
At this juncture, the stewardess, who had overheard the word “bathroom” from our conversations, discovered that we thought the bathroom was broken. “They announced it at our gate ten minutes before boarding.” We explained.
Going back to the front, the stewardess spoke to us all, “Our bathroom is working. They must have gotten the wrong flight number.”
I’ll say. Some other flight has some really good material for a humor column, particularly if it was the flight boarding from DC to Vegas.
Day One of the Erma Bombeck Conference...I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, try www.humor-blogs.com!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Real Twelve Passenger Van
When we got to eight children, we had maxed out the Suburban.
The only way we could journey as a whole family was to take two cars or violate state and federal law regarding passengers and seat belts. Note to any HSA or Feds reading this, we of course always took two cars. Safety First You know.
So we have been in the market lately for a 12 -15 passenger van.We've looked at the two makers of such vehicles available for non-commercial use. The cars are basically a large fishbowl on a truck frame. They get zero points for style. They come in only mayo wonder bread white.
Fresh from the factory, they do not have DVD players or rear heating controls or extra head rests, leather seats or even cool push button mirrors to maneuver and adjust. The bell and whistle possibilities include a luggage rack and running boards. Just in case I wanted to make driving in a garage and parking a wee bit more difficult.
They also do not come with a finance package like zero percent interest.As a result, our desire to purchase one of these is also the equivalent of a shot gun wedding fiancé. Hey we're getting married....wee......watch where you point that thing.
I understand how the Republican Party faithful must feel.
John McCain.
He is the twelve passenger van of candidates.
Having no resale value before you even drive him off the lot, there is no sex appeal in a 12 passenger van. The car is old before you even buy it.
No one says "Wow! Nice car."
They do however notice you are driving a large marshmallow brick shaped vehicle. It's awkward, it lurches. Hair pin turns are not advisable.
Buying a 12-15 passenger van is a utilitarian decision at best. No one wishes they had one just like it.
Being polite and reasonably kind, people will try to express approval about the purchase of such a car. “You needed it for your family.” “I bet it makes errands much easier.”
And we will mumble yeah as we covetously stare at all the cool cars we can’t drive because we need to buy this one. We could have had a Ron Paul or a Huckabee or a Romney or a Rudi…but this, this is what we needed…for the good of the party.
When you add in the fact that the financing for such a candidate isn’t great, you start wondering if maybe we should get a trailer hitch so we can tow a convertible type Vice President for date nights so we can maintain the illusion if only to ourselves that sometimes, we’re cool.
That, or I need to get a commercial drivers license and buy a stretch hummer limo.
For non utilitarian humor on all subjects, try http://www.humor-blogs.com!
The only way we could journey as a whole family was to take two cars or violate state and federal law regarding passengers and seat belts. Note to any HSA or Feds reading this, we of course always took two cars. Safety First You know.
So we have been in the market lately for a 12 -15 passenger van.We've looked at the two makers of such vehicles available for non-commercial use. The cars are basically a large fishbowl on a truck frame. They get zero points for style. They come in only mayo wonder bread white.
Fresh from the factory, they do not have DVD players or rear heating controls or extra head rests, leather seats or even cool push button mirrors to maneuver and adjust. The bell and whistle possibilities include a luggage rack and running boards. Just in case I wanted to make driving in a garage and parking a wee bit more difficult.
They also do not come with a finance package like zero percent interest.As a result, our desire to purchase one of these is also the equivalent of a shot gun wedding fiancé. Hey we're getting married....wee......watch where you point that thing.
I understand how the Republican Party faithful must feel.
John McCain.
He is the twelve passenger van of candidates.
Having no resale value before you even drive him off the lot, there is no sex appeal in a 12 passenger van. The car is old before you even buy it.
No one says "Wow! Nice car."
They do however notice you are driving a large marshmallow brick shaped vehicle. It's awkward, it lurches. Hair pin turns are not advisable.
Buying a 12-15 passenger van is a utilitarian decision at best. No one wishes they had one just like it.
Being polite and reasonably kind, people will try to express approval about the purchase of such a car. “You needed it for your family.” “I bet it makes errands much easier.”
And we will mumble yeah as we covetously stare at all the cool cars we can’t drive because we need to buy this one. We could have had a Ron Paul or a Huckabee or a Romney or a Rudi…but this, this is what we needed…for the good of the party.
When you add in the fact that the financing for such a candidate isn’t great, you start wondering if maybe we should get a trailer hitch so we can tow a convertible type Vice President for date nights so we can maintain the illusion if only to ourselves that sometimes, we’re cool.
That, or I need to get a commercial drivers license and buy a stretch hummer limo.
For non utilitarian humor on all subjects, try http://www.humor-blogs.com!
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