T-O-W-A-R-D-S My Ted Talk

I've reached my sell by date. It doesn't mean I'm dead, but it does mean all comments I make, whether about the planned dinner or the state of education as I see it based on the past two years in the classroom, get dismissed because they weren't verified by a TED talk.  They're out of date.

As you may have guessed, I live with many teenagers and college students. There isn't a profession, degree or level of experience one can have endured over the course of a lifetime sufficient to counter the opinions of those ranging in age from 13 to adulthood.

As a parent, I've come to terms with this reality. It's not an easy term, but it's knowable. I know, no matter what I say, no matter how benign the comment, I'm wrong.

In an effort to stem my wrongness, I stay away from controversial subjects but being always wrong means, there aren't any.

Take the weather...

"It's cold today."

"No it's not."
"It was colder yesterday."
"I checked the website. It's statistically three degrees warmer than it was 100 years ago."
"You just think it is."

Or matters of personal preference...

"Thank goodness for diet coke and chocolate."

"You should be drinking water."
"Those chemicals will destroy your body."
"Studies say, drinking that will also make you fat."
"Is it fair trade chocolate?
"Goodness had nothing to do with it."

Or statements of actual fact born of answering a question:

"How do you spell "Towards?"

"T-O-W-A-R-D-S."
"I don't think that's correct."

"I know how to spell it. You asked me."

"Are you sure?"
"Yes."

"I'm gonna google it."

Or when you figure out the answer before they do...they don't quite believe it.

"I can't figure out this math."
"Let me see...Okay hon, you just write it out and multiply each term to each term. (X-4)squared equals Xto the second power, minus 8 X plus sixteen."
"No. You don't understand."
"But I do understand. I just did it."
"No. You have a third term."
"I know, because..."
"No. It's been a long time since you did math. I think we do it differently."
"The rules haven't changed."
"I'm going to call a friend."

Fifteen minutes later. "Did you get the answer?"
"Yes."
"And..."
"I still don't think we need the -8X."

I know, saying "I was right!" would be in bad form but I can't say I'm not tempted. 

The problem is, our children no longer consider us reliable sources of information. We don't even get the benefit of "Trust but verify." We get...your parents told you? Fake news. Wikipedia is considered more reliable than me. Possibly Fox news as well.

All this stemmed from my informing my daughter that the dryer wasn't drying clothing. I'd taken everything out, wiped out the inner drum and placed a limited size load in the machine. Five minutes later, it said it was done. I tried again. In three minutes, it stopped. Having tested every setting and pushed every button I informed everyone, the dryer isn't working.

Three teenagers since then have done their own field testing of the dryer only to inform me what I already knew. I told them, "There are moments when a statement doesn't need a peer review. The dryer not working is one of them." They looked doubtful.

I'd love them to know most of my opinions and thoughts on things do not require independent verification or crowd sourcing. However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit it would be nice to have approval, or even a "like." It would be nice to have someone other than the GPS let me know, I've come to the correct conclusion of something but the only validation I'm getting these days is in the parking garage.

They didn't think that joke was funny. They said there were much funnier ones in Ted talks. They told me my humor is stale.

What do they expect? I'm expired.