Mom Hours

Everyone thinks when you have a newborn, sleep is something you aspire to have.  However the reality of parenting is, for pure sleep deprivation, nothing tops teenagers.  

Babies nap.  Babies have simple needs.  Eat. Change.  Hold.  Sleep.
Teens send you text messages at ten in the evening while you're folding laundry, "Are you going to the store?  Because we're out of bananas."  I sent back, "Where are you when you texted this?"
"In bed."   "So you want to know if I would get up, get my purse and drive to the store...before or after folding the laundry?"   The teen had the grace to send back, "No. I'm not in bed. I'm at school and I've been hard at work all afternoon, studying, studying, studying. I in no way would ever dream of asking you to go out after working all day if I'd not done the same.  Good night!"  

Evening patrols to guarantee lights out mean policing cell phones, taking the cord for the Wi-Fi on occasion, and reminding people that yes, there are after hours, when everything including the kitchen should be closed.   I find the hours between 1 a.m. and 5 to be most likely to be in compliance, but it's never quite a lock..  

At five, I've heard one rising with the proposal of a morning jog.  Believing in sleep as a normal part of life, I've explained,  once we get to morning hours, if the sun isn't up, you aren't to be out.  However I have the equivalent of electronic roosters all over the house.  My cell goes off at 5:50 and there are at least four alarms which blare at six, though to my knowledge, none of them rouse actual children, just me.

So nestle up with those newborns and enjoy this restful stage of life and remember, this is all just training for later.  This part of the road of parenting you're on?  It's the wide easy part.  

Ten Signs You Live with a Cross Country Runner

10) He has more pairs of shoes than you do.

9) You always cook two dinners.  One for the non running crew, and one for the runner.

8) We are always out of bananas.

7) No one save the runner may take the last water bottle under pain of death.

6) The mail man understands when he drops off the mail and there is a dish that once contained oatmeal and a spoon, that we aren't mailing away our dirty dishes.  It's just, he was running late to catch the bus and ate on the fly.  

5) You don't ask where the protein bars went.  Or the yogurts, or the chocolate milks.  You know.

4) His wardrobe consists of running clothes and one pair of jeans for when he has to dress formally.

3) He will do the dishes and babysit for chocolate milk and pasta.

2) The speed at which he can run is inverse to the speed at which he gets ready for anything where he is not running.  

1) The weather is irrelevant to the runner.  The time of day is irrelevant to the runner.  The amount of distance he will run, is also irrelevant.  You, as mother, and not a runner, will understand none of this, you must merely accept, he's going to run.