Government Prescribed

"The best health care is not always the most expensive." --President Obama

"It darn well better be!" --Sherry Antonetti --after looking at the price tag that refuses to be named but has been speculated at, for the federal government health care.

I don't actually remember anyone ever saying the best was the most expensive, but let's just go with what he says for the moment.

The best beef is Wagyu. The President serves this when he wants to court Congress or impress, it is also stated to be his favorite. It is roughly $100.00 a pound. Now maybe there's some ground sirloin out there at Sam's club that can compete if cooked properly (slow smoked burgers that have a touch of green chili's and white and black pepper), but otherwise...the best is well, expensive.

His wife is styling in her $400.00 sneakers. I'm sure Easy Spirit makes a shoe that is similar in design and color, but the best shoes that make all of Paris and London and the media swoon are fashionably expensive.

And his lovely darling daughters go to a private school, very posh, but the best education isn’t always the most expensive either… I’m sure the DC public schools would be just swell.

Now the President lives in the best public housing that is available in the nation.

But when it comes to health care, just remember, the best is not always the most expensive. Trust us, we didn't take a vow to do no harm, but we're from the government and we know the best for you isn’t the best for us.

P.S. On a serious note, I do understand that we need to make some changes to the existing health care structure and that the moral quandry involved in health care is always --say yes to everything and go bankrupt, or say no and risk having made an error in judgement that cost someone else grave suffering or death. It is not an easy issue and I do not take it lightly.

That is precisely why I feel ill at ease with the speed with which this bill was being pushed. I subscribe to the quaint philosophical notion that we ought to demand our leaders read the things they vote into law or bother to sign. I also worry that we are already spending massive amounts of money we don't have, and at some point, we do have to stop. If government spending is holding the economy afloat, haven't we just swapped one bubble economy for another, the dot.coms to the housing home equity incomes to government? Lastly, why is this not being asked by a person in the media as opposed to a blogging house frau?

I hear the Call of My Country

https://www.fbo.gov/index?s=opportunity&mode=form&id=3014e950a92dbb0f7e066f9e088a301f&tab=core&tabmode=list&cck=1&au=&ck=

It's true. The government is looking for a few good laughs.

So I'm wondering if this is why they seated Senator Franken.

But hey, it's a recession and people with jobs, well, they're sad. They need perking up. And since we can't satirize the existing government or leaders because they have all the answers; the people who work to figure out all the regulations and rules and policies that no one reads, need motivation, sweetness and light.

They'll even pay to get it.

I'm patriotic. I believe in the healing power of laughter, so I volunteer myself here as a humble humorist.

But I clicked on the link. They want cartoonists, not humor writers.

Nuts.

Everybody Luau!

Hey Brother, can you spare 13 bucks a week?

So Congress has agreed to a 789,000,000,000.00 package deal to stimulate the economy, which most experts have indicated shall make a 13$ a week for those who qualify for the tax cuts. How much does 13$ buy?

And is it after taxes? At the local store, thirteen bucks gets you a gallon of milk, a box of name brand cereal, a loaf of good bread and a jar of whatever peanut butter is on sale. If you use coupons or scrimp a bit, you can add a jar of jelly. That, or order one large pizza with just cheese and have it delivered. Maybe if I caught the special, there'd be bread sticks too.

Personally, I’d feel better if we handed out a bag of those groceries, taking care of a week of breakfast and lunch for everyone. If it's not after taxes, people can look forward to a mere 8 bucks per week. We'd better take the generic cereal in bags, the cheapest bread and skip the jelly....and we might need to switch to powdered milk too.

We don’t expect perfection, but is this the best we could do?

The Senate and House leader announce an agreement on the bill...huzzah!

Let’s light the tikki torches, cue the hula girls and start the luau. Roast pork for everyone! It will only cost $2,254.28 a plate. (That’s 789 billion divided by 3.5 million).

They can say there’s no pork. (It’s all necessary even if they don’t know what’s in the bill). They can say, there are no earmarks. (If it’s not a line item, it’s not an earmark). They can say all spending is stimulus. If that’s the case, then please please, let us keep our $2,254.28 per person.
I promise to go out and spend it.

But if this is going to pass, as all claim it will, I still have a few questions.

If the bill is so big, no one knows what all is in it as some Senators attacking questions about what is in the stimulus package have claimed, how can we have a dollar figure?

If the millions here and millions there that the "chattering classes" of opposition object to, are so snatteringly small as to be statistically insignificant, why not cut them out to silence the criticisms? Or are they so vital that if we cut everything else, these still would have to stay?

If there is a 30% chance of getting it wrong as stated by Biden, shouldn't we try to fix that first?

If there is no pork or earmarks, then why are there so many oddball programs and policies and special projects that seem unique to specific geographical areas of the country representened by prominent leaders in the House and Senate?

If everything here is vital and was before the conference, why was the bill reduced from 920 billion to 789?

Using the monkeys typing Shakespeare theory, could we just take out every other page of the bill and maybe have a more reasonable stimulus package?

If I pay my bills and my mortgage and live within my means and don't own a corporate jet, already bought a house and don't have anyone in college, and file my taxes accurately, how am I not a chump?

Could we at least have pepperoni on the damn pizza?