After watching a few minutes of this year's Superbowl Halftime Show, I've come to understand why the Victoria's Secret Super Model Half Time Show cancelled.
It was simply not lude or crude or provocative enough.
Reporters at "Chocolate For Your Brain!" Research Division tracked down former models of the once scandalous scantily clad entertainment show. They agreed to discuss their concerns provided we didn't reveal their identities.
"When the show got canceled, I read all the reasoning and thought, maybe they're right. I should have some standards." She sobbed over the phone. "Then I saw the show at this year's Superbowl and wondered why anyone ever objected to our strutting down a cat walk. At least you knew before you turned on the television channel, you were choosing to watch women in lingerie. No one thought that kids should watch our show. We weren't advertising someone who stared in Zootopia as a headliner."
Another former bikini model explained, "When the "Me too" movement took full force, I decided it was time for "me too," to take back my dignity. I thought perhaps now, it would be different. We stopped because we didn't want to be exposed or exploited." She added wryly, "Not sure there's much left to expose or exploit."
But it wasn't just those from the half-time show who felt the impact.
Via email, several former models from the Playboy talked about how they now understood how uncomfortable their shows made others.
"There's always a new level of ick or low." one wrote, "and whenever we lower the bar and increase the ick, the next generation has to scrape lower to make an impact. But, whenever anyone objects, everyone else views the objecter as essentially clutching at her pearls because someone flashed an ankle."
In related news, Paul Rubens announced he's hired a lawyer to get his record expunged and his kid show reinstated. "Public indecency? Please. I wasn't trying to be on camera." he scoffed.
ABC executives don't think he has a case though. Lawyers for the network explained, citing the highest value with respect to sex held in the nation."Everyone who watched the Superbowl, by not changing the channel, consented. They waived their rights to not see everything when they turned on the television. Besides, what haven't people seen these days? I mean, the President said to grab 'em by...so it's empowering for women to do it themselves. I think, it's the beginning of a new age, where people can express themselves howsoever they want. Remember, the key rule to good society is, don't judge."
Word must have traveled fast, as the following leads showed up on Chocolate For Your Brain's Newtips wire.
Jeffery Epstein came back from the dead and said, "I'm just an outlier today. Tomorrow, I'll be the trend setter."
Hooters announced it's creating a kid menu and a happy meal, complete with a pole dancing Barbie knock off.
Finally, Anciet Greek Gods Bacchus and Pan announced plans for a reinstitution of their rites of Spring. "We're calling it the Pagan Bachanalia Comeback Tour! There will be everything! Can't wait. We're even using Shakira's song "Try Everything," you know, from Zootopia? As the motto."
Word has it, they reached out to see if the execs for Superbowl LV were interested. Off the record, the executives assisstant shook her head, "It's been done. We're looking for someone who can really push the envelope."
Reporters for Chocolate for Your Brain stopped investigating and went to buy stock in Eye Bleach.
Showing posts with label Superbowl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superbowl. Show all posts
Monday, February 3, 2020
Sunday, February 5, 2017
How to Fight Fake News
A colleague's pet project (forgive the pun), A Dog's Purpose was the victim of fake news, wherein the movie project got almost destroyed by rumors an animal was abused in the course of the making of the film. The animal wasn't harmed, and if you have the opportunity, go see the film.
Tom Brady got sacked twice in a single drive and I thought for the first half, had the Patriots been victims of fake news with respect to Atlanta?
When it comes to fake news, the question becomes, how do we know? I've seen some good discussion on this matter, mostly focusing on where you get your source material. Reuters, BBC, the Wall Street Journal and AP have become my favorite places to get information but the eroding of public trust, both by what is omitted and what is trumpeted, has resulted in a fundamental shift in how everyone views the news.
We all must become editors, who must engage in extreme vetting of all information which might inspire an outraged reaction on our part and all information which might gladden our hearts. In short, if there's an emotional response generated by an article, one must pause and wonder, is that not merely the point of this piece but the author's intent?
If there is a silver lining in all this, the need for trusted sources may be cause for a great renaissance in journalism as the media must reestablish itself against the White House spin, and internet noise.
We will need the fourth estate in fighting trim to help reestablish genuine affection across the political divide, to reveal how truth is stronger than ideology, and reality is often full of peole who aren't one sided or blind to their own failings or the "other side's" virtues. We will need to reconnect the whole of the country, united in creating a stronger community, whether or not the government goes along.
The great divide of politics so sharp and hard on Facebook and in the election, serves the parties and the game of politics, but not communities, and not friendships.
Hopefully, we remember this and let such barriers vanish when we see each other face to face. I firmly believe that when we interact to deal with the real problems we should address every day in our own communities and stop treating each one and everyone we disagree with as an unclean other unworthy of our consideration.
Bring everyone along with what we agree about, because building community is based on mutual respect, one heart at a time.
Oh, and NEVER count the Patriots out. Unbelievable! Or it would be, but I watched the whole game so I know what happened. UNBELIEVABLE!
Tom Brady got sacked twice in a single drive and I thought for the first half, had the Patriots been victims of fake news with respect to Atlanta?
When it comes to fake news, the question becomes, how do we know? I've seen some good discussion on this matter, mostly focusing on where you get your source material. Reuters, BBC, the Wall Street Journal and AP have become my favorite places to get information but the eroding of public trust, both by what is omitted and what is trumpeted, has resulted in a fundamental shift in how everyone views the news.
We all must become editors, who must engage in extreme vetting of all information which might inspire an outraged reaction on our part and all information which might gladden our hearts. In short, if there's an emotional response generated by an article, one must pause and wonder, is that not merely the point of this piece but the author's intent?
If there is a silver lining in all this, the need for trusted sources may be cause for a great renaissance in journalism as the media must reestablish itself against the White House spin, and internet noise.
We will need the fourth estate in fighting trim to help reestablish genuine affection across the political divide, to reveal how truth is stronger than ideology, and reality is often full of peole who aren't one sided or blind to their own failings or the "other side's" virtues. We will need to reconnect the whole of the country, united in creating a stronger community, whether or not the government goes along.
The great divide of politics so sharp and hard on Facebook and in the election, serves the parties and the game of politics, but not communities, and not friendships.
Hopefully, we remember this and let such barriers vanish when we see each other face to face. I firmly believe that when we interact to deal with the real problems we should address every day in our own communities and stop treating each one and everyone we disagree with as an unclean other unworthy of our consideration.
Bring everyone along with what we agree about, because building community is based on mutual respect, one heart at a time.
Oh, and NEVER count the Patriots out. Unbelievable! Or it would be, but I watched the whole game so I know what happened. UNBELIEVABLE!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Some Superbowl Commercials I'd Like to See
Just in time for Sunday's Game, my contribution to the advertising world. You can pay me 1 MILLION dollars if you like.
For the new Mini-Van: to make it from a Mom Mobile to a Man Mobile. So what is more manly than James Bond I think? Seven James Bonds!
Picture this: A beautiful woman comes out of the local gourmet grocery store, (note to self, product placement for Whole Foods in the ad), she is immediately abducted by the bad guys on Harleys (Three motor cycles buzz by, one grabs the babe and the others scatter the people as they drive off laughing evilly).
Daniel Craig (the most recent Bond, wants to rescue her, so he hops into his latest acquisition from Q, the M-van). Pierce Brosman is sitting in the passenger side, he is smoothing his hair, waiting for Craig. Daulton leans towards the front to say, “Buckle up.” Craig rolls his eyes and Pierce sighs a bit as Lazenby give his fierce soliloquy look to the camera, “They won’t get far, this is a V-8 engine with a lot of kick.”
They peel off after the motor cycles which are weaving through traffic, the woman screaming. They pull up along side. Connery opens the driver side sliding door, “Nice feature, that.” He says as he grabs the girl and sends her into the back.
Craig hands the wheel over to Pierce and scrambles to the back. He reaches over to grab the guy off the motor cycle, punches him in the car and says, “So is this!” as he opens the other side and tosses the bad guy out. The other two bad guys are taken out by the crashing motor cycle that careens into one, causing the other to flip off of his.
The two older bonds shut the doors and Craig grabs a napkin from Dapper Pierce to wipe his bloody hand. "Don't want to stain the leather seats." He says. Lazenby posits, "This new Q Van has everything." Roger Moore in the back says, “I like the stow and go and removable seats.” As he gives an arched eyebrow to the babe. She sighs in his arms.
"Oh James...."
The rest of the Bonds bust out laughing. Fade out.
Bottled water has taken it on the chin lately, what with scandals about some of it being tap water, so it’s time for some damage control. Here’s my offering for Dasani –Coke-cola’s bottled water of note.
Brandi, you know the babe who took off her shirt in celebration, teaching the world about sports bras? She’s hot, she’sweaty, she’s walking dejectedly down a dark hallway from the stadium. A young 7 year old girl with pony tails, wearing a USA soccer shirt comes towards her, holding a Dasani Water.
"Brandi?... Brandi?" She tries to screw up the nerve for an autograph, but instead silently and sincerely holds out her water bottle of Dasani as a gift. Brandi takes the water, obviously fatigued. She chugs it down in one long gulp. She then starts to stagger away, and then turns, “Hey kid.” She says, as she takes off her jersey, “Catch.”
Pony-tailed Girl: "Wow! Thanks Brandi!"
Fade out.
And then there are the 20 second spots, where Exxon Mobil is trying to make itself into a “Green Company.” Or at least put forth the image.
On Environment: Mobil/Exxon: We haven’t had an oil spill that destroyed pristine Alaskan coastlines in over 20 years.
On Maintaining Facilities: Mobil/Exxon: We’re better than BP…but not for lack of trying!
On Golden Parachutes for CEO’s : Mobil/Exxon: the middle class’ conglomerrate,only 60 billion in profits last year.
On Price Gauging: Mobil/Exxon: We have suffered recently too, remember gasoline at less than 1.25 a gallon? It wasn’t that long ago.
On respecting people: Mobil/Exxon: We don’t export our extortion to other countries like those other big businesses. All of our exploitation of the worker is done right here in the USA.
Our Moral Center: Mobil/Exxon: We’re less evil than R.J. Reynolds.
And now back to the Super Bowl….GO GIANTS!
for more humor that doesn't cost 1 million dollars per minute, try http://www.humor-blogs.com/!
For the new Mini-Van: to make it from a Mom Mobile to a Man Mobile. So what is more manly than James Bond I think? Seven James Bonds!
Picture this: A beautiful woman comes out of the local gourmet grocery store, (note to self, product placement for Whole Foods in the ad), she is immediately abducted by the bad guys on Harleys (Three motor cycles buzz by, one grabs the babe and the others scatter the people as they drive off laughing evilly).
Daniel Craig (the most recent Bond, wants to rescue her, so he hops into his latest acquisition from Q, the M-van). Pierce Brosman is sitting in the passenger side, he is smoothing his hair, waiting for Craig. Daulton leans towards the front to say, “Buckle up.” Craig rolls his eyes and Pierce sighs a bit as Lazenby give his fierce soliloquy look to the camera, “They won’t get far, this is a V-8 engine with a lot of kick.”
They peel off after the motor cycles which are weaving through traffic, the woman screaming. They pull up along side. Connery opens the driver side sliding door, “Nice feature, that.” He says as he grabs the girl and sends her into the back.
Craig hands the wheel over to Pierce and scrambles to the back. He reaches over to grab the guy off the motor cycle, punches him in the car and says, “So is this!” as he opens the other side and tosses the bad guy out. The other two bad guys are taken out by the crashing motor cycle that careens into one, causing the other to flip off of his.
The two older bonds shut the doors and Craig grabs a napkin from Dapper Pierce to wipe his bloody hand. "Don't want to stain the leather seats." He says. Lazenby posits, "This new Q Van has everything." Roger Moore in the back says, “I like the stow and go and removable seats.” As he gives an arched eyebrow to the babe. She sighs in his arms.
"Oh James...."
The rest of the Bonds bust out laughing. Fade out.
Bottled water has taken it on the chin lately, what with scandals about some of it being tap water, so it’s time for some damage control. Here’s my offering for Dasani –Coke-cola’s bottled water of note.
Brandi, you know the babe who took off her shirt in celebration, teaching the world about sports bras? She’s hot, she’sweaty, she’s walking dejectedly down a dark hallway from the stadium. A young 7 year old girl with pony tails, wearing a USA soccer shirt comes towards her, holding a Dasani Water.
"Brandi?... Brandi?" She tries to screw up the nerve for an autograph, but instead silently and sincerely holds out her water bottle of Dasani as a gift. Brandi takes the water, obviously fatigued. She chugs it down in one long gulp. She then starts to stagger away, and then turns, “Hey kid.” She says, as she takes off her jersey, “Catch.”
Pony-tailed Girl: "Wow! Thanks Brandi!"
Fade out.
And then there are the 20 second spots, where Exxon Mobil is trying to make itself into a “Green Company.” Or at least put forth the image.
On Environment: Mobil/Exxon: We haven’t had an oil spill that destroyed pristine Alaskan coastlines in over 20 years.
On Maintaining Facilities: Mobil/Exxon: We’re better than BP…but not for lack of trying!
On Golden Parachutes for CEO’s : Mobil/Exxon: the middle class’ conglomerrate,only 60 billion in profits last year.
On Price Gauging: Mobil/Exxon: We have suffered recently too, remember gasoline at less than 1.25 a gallon? It wasn’t that long ago.
On respecting people: Mobil/Exxon: We don’t export our extortion to other countries like those other big businesses. All of our exploitation of the worker is done right here in the USA.
Our Moral Center: Mobil/Exxon: We’re less evil than R.J. Reynolds.
And now back to the Super Bowl….GO GIANTS!
for more humor that doesn't cost 1 million dollars per minute, try http://www.humor-blogs.com/!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Not Named Jeffy's Sports Page Picks
You know how that Family Circus guy lets his comic get taken over by his kids?
Well now it’s Not Named Jeffy’s turn on Mom’s blog!
unedited and unproofd. (obviously)
Being a guy, naturally, I gravitate towards writing about sports.
Specifically, football.
Why?
It’s the most male sport there is. Two hours of eating bad for you food and watching other guys hit each other at great speeds. A perfect world experience for any fourteen year old, or any guy who has ever been fourteen.
As the playoffs draw nearer to Super Bowl (Insert some weird Roman numeral here), Not Named Jeffy makes playoff picks.
Get ready to call your Vegas bookie.
First up: Seattle vs. Green Bay: The Seahawks are losing to The Packers with their quarterback from …what? The late 60’s maybe early 70’s? This is pathetic!
MEMO from Me: to Seattle guys, you are losing to a guy nearly twice your age! That’s just sad.
San Diego vs. Indianapolis: The Chargers and the Colts, who really cares?
We all know Manning is motivated by one of two things: Being a really good quarterback, making a lot of commercials. The question is, can he hock enough products to merit his own channel? The All Manning, All the Time Channel? AMATC for short. At least sponsorship wouldn’t be an issue. Not Named Jeffy’s Picks: Rooting for the Colts on the pseudo perception that they are a purer motivated football team en masse. Can’t name a one.
New York vs. Dallas: The Giants and the Cowboys, you know what I going to pick the Giants, so Eli can get his ring. It will also secure his retirement, as he can then go endorse hokey products that don’t work, following in his brother’s footsteps –like sprint phone, OXY cleaning 123, and other things that can be found easily at either the dollar store or QVC. Maybe Payton will let him do a guest spot on AMATC in the early morning hours.
Finally the New England Patriots and… does it really matter what I say? If Tom Brady broke his leg, the Patriots cover the spread and win. If Brady and Moss break legs they win. If Tom, Randy, and the Defensive line all break their legs, Bill Bellicheck will come in and we are back to square one. Patriots win big.
Now if Bellicheck, the defensive line, Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and some obscure backup quarterback aching for some playing time all break their legs, everyone plays with broken limbs, but the Patriots find out (insert Running Back’s name here) can actually run. Jacksonville is left in full body casts, as Bill beats a healthy player to death for getting his cast wet with Gatorade.
Not Named Jeffy? This is not Bill Keane. Why can't you write like this for your English class?
Umm.....Tune in next time when Not Named Jeffy tries to find his way home on the metro. You can trace the detours and chuckle softly for no apparent reason!
Well now it’s Not Named Jeffy’s turn on Mom’s blog!
unedited and unproofd. (obviously)
Being a guy, naturally, I gravitate towards writing about sports.
Specifically, football.
Why?
It’s the most male sport there is. Two hours of eating bad for you food and watching other guys hit each other at great speeds. A perfect world experience for any fourteen year old, or any guy who has ever been fourteen.
As the playoffs draw nearer to Super Bowl (Insert some weird Roman numeral here), Not Named Jeffy makes playoff picks.
Get ready to call your Vegas bookie.
First up: Seattle vs. Green Bay: The Seahawks are losing to The Packers with their quarterback from …what? The late 60’s maybe early 70’s? This is pathetic!
MEMO from Me: to Seattle guys, you are losing to a guy nearly twice your age! That’s just sad.
San Diego vs. Indianapolis: The Chargers and the Colts, who really cares?
We all know Manning is motivated by one of two things: Being a really good quarterback, making a lot of commercials. The question is, can he hock enough products to merit his own channel? The All Manning, All the Time Channel? AMATC for short. At least sponsorship wouldn’t be an issue. Not Named Jeffy’s Picks: Rooting for the Colts on the pseudo perception that they are a purer motivated football team en masse. Can’t name a one.
New York vs. Dallas: The Giants and the Cowboys, you know what I going to pick the Giants, so Eli can get his ring. It will also secure his retirement, as he can then go endorse hokey products that don’t work, following in his brother’s footsteps –like sprint phone, OXY cleaning 123, and other things that can be found easily at either the dollar store or QVC. Maybe Payton will let him do a guest spot on AMATC in the early morning hours.
Finally the New England Patriots and… does it really matter what I say? If Tom Brady broke his leg, the Patriots cover the spread and win. If Brady and Moss break legs they win. If Tom, Randy, and the Defensive line all break their legs, Bill Bellicheck will come in and we are back to square one. Patriots win big.
Now if Bellicheck, the defensive line, Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and some obscure backup quarterback aching for some playing time all break their legs, everyone plays with broken limbs, but the Patriots find out (insert Running Back’s name here) can actually run. Jacksonville is left in full body casts, as Bill beats a healthy player to death for getting his cast wet with Gatorade.
Not Named Jeffy? This is not Bill Keane. Why can't you write like this for your English class?
Umm.....Tune in next time when Not Named Jeffy tries to find his way home on the metro. You can trace the detours and chuckle softly for no apparent reason!
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